Dd is 18. She's never really had friend problems before, she's easy going, kind and popular in her social group. She's not one of the alpha type girls, but she's thoughtful and kind.
She has a close friend who is very different, boy mad, doesn't think much of school, tattoos. Quite 'cool'. They used to hang out together a lot. Then this girl got a boyfriend and dumped dd. Yes, that's life. But then friend started being really catty - arranging to see dd then cancelling and then needing texts from dd saying that dd wasn't cross about it. Dd was always trying not to upset her friend. They had arranged a day out somewhere on Sunday and dd was really looking forward to it. Friend cancelled this morning, saying her boyfriend had planned something really nice for her instead. Dd was angry and texted friend saying she was disappointed and had really been looking forward to it.
The point of my post is that THEN the boyfriend texted dd to say she should butt out, he'd arranged something for his girlfriend and that dd was being unreasonable and both girls were being silly about it.
Dd is feeling a bit shocked and upset that they are both 'ganging up on her' friend is texting madly and calling, the more dd ignores the messages the more her friend texts saying things like 'dd don't be like this' 'why are you ignoring me?' etc etc
It's not OK for the boyfriend to message dd is it? Dd barely knows him although says he's horrible, always being nasty about his brothers girlfriend who is a bit overweight.
Before anyone says she's 18 - yes she is, still living at home though and not very streetwise about dealing with mean friends - she's been lucky so far with her friendship group. I've told her to ignore the texts and not reply but the friend is texting and calling every 20 minutes!
Is this all quite toxic or am I being naive? Dd is really upset and doesn't really know how to handle it.