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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel DDs party this Sunday?

338 replies

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 14:49

DD is 3 and we’re having a party for her in 2 weeks time. Have spent about £1000 on venue hire, entertainment etc.

Originally had 25 kids confirmed as coming and this has now dropped down to 9.

Should we cancel?

IABU - no don’t canxel
YANBU - cancel

OP posts:
Clearinguptheclutter · 03/09/2024 15:50

if you really can't cancel and get your money back for some of it then go ahead anyway. Maybe invite the ones that are coming's siblings to get the numbers up a bit.

coxesorangepippin · 03/09/2024 15:50

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

^

Yeah that's less than op but, still too much

'£300 on decor' 🤣

coxesorangepippin · 03/09/2024 15:50

Ballon arch??

Normandy144 · 03/09/2024 15:51

Gosh that's a huge amount of money to have spent. But you can at least chalk it up to experience. I would explain to those who are still coming that they're welcome to bring siblings etc and invite some others otherwise it's a huge waste. In future I'd shop around for places to hire out. In my experience local village halls are nowhere near that amount of money. Partyware and decorations don't need to be anything grand for a child's party.

Silvers11 · 03/09/2024 15:51

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:45

For people saying that £1000 is far too much, we’ve spent:

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

and then food and party bags.

It's not an unreasonable amount to spend for what you are getting for the money at all. I think those, including me, who have commented about the cost are just a bit stunned on organising that for a three year old, for whom it won't mean anything, especially not the decor, and won't be remembered for very long, if at all. Your call of course!

Picklepoppypolly · 03/09/2024 15:51

I would invite the siblings of the children who confirmed. I wouldn’t cancel if there is no money back. It will be a good party with smaller numbers.

SonicTheHodgeheg · 03/09/2024 15:51

Why would you cancel if you’re not getting a refund ?

I think that this is a good lesson for you to calm down next year (unless £1k is easy money for you)

TikehauLilly · 03/09/2024 15:51

As no refund - Don't cancel as those 9 that are coming plus your child shouldn't be punished by those that dropped out (a huge number for you in this case)

9 is a nice number - will be fun and food cost will be lower. Remember don't go OTT on that - they are 3!

£300 on decor is a bit much btw

TomatoSandwiches · 03/09/2024 15:52

Yes absolutely cancel the non refundable £1k party, you seem inclined to make ridiculous decisions so why change?

coxesorangepippin · 03/09/2024 15:52

https://groceries.asda.com/product/plain-biscuits/foxs-party-rings-125-g/19991

She bought 300 packets of party rings and still had change leftover

3 year old Tarquin doesn't even give a shit about party rings

https://groceries.asda.com/product/plain-biscuits/foxs-party-rings-125-g/19991

Coconutter24 · 03/09/2024 15:52

coxesorangepippin · 03/09/2024 15:50

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

^

Yeah that's less than op but, still too much

'£300 on decor' 🤣

By the time OP has done food and party bags it will be the cost in her OP

I also can’t understand £300 on ‘decor’ balloons and paper plates £10 max!!

IWasHittingMyMarks · 03/09/2024 15:52

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:45

For people saying that £1000 is far too much, we’ve spent:

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

and then food and party bags.

Far too much for a 3 year old. Completely unnecessary and they won't even remember most of these people or the party in a few years' time.

fizzymizzy · 03/09/2024 15:53

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:45

For people saying that £1000 is far too much, we’ve spent:

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

and then food and party bags.

Your choice, however, if you chose that why do you no longer want your DD to have it?

XiCi · 03/09/2024 15:53

Why on earth would you cancel when it's non refundable? There's going to be 10 children there that will have a lovely time, including your dd. Why would you want to ruin her birthday?

StripeK · 03/09/2024 15:54

Wow, I thought my £75 spend on decorations for my daughter's 3rd (joint!) party was OTT 😅

crumblingschools · 03/09/2024 15:54

Venue hire is extortionate too. We can rent the village hall for about £30

Lostworlds · 03/09/2024 15:55

It’s a lot of money to spend and if you can’t get a refund then I would be going ahead with it.

mitogoshi · 03/09/2024 15:56

£300 on decor and disposable plates? Can any of this be refunded, kids are fine with paper plates from the supermarket (£1.50 for 8) cups (same price) and a few balloons also from supermarket than you blow up yourself - £25 in total let's say.

If either of the suppliers will let you cancel have the bouncy castle or ball pond.

GiantPigeon · 03/09/2024 15:56

That's unfortunate, can you bulk it out with neighbours kids, siblings of confirmed attendees etc.

It is hard with parties, we don't have much family so have always felt compelled to host parties and have always been dependent on others bringing their kids along which I've been very appreciative of. It has however always been nerve wracking worrying if it's going to be low attendance.

I do think £1000 is a bit much though, we've always capped ours at £500 but that's for absolutely everything including the party and some small gifts from us, so normally split £400 party and £100 gifts from us.

Our last party we had entertainer £250, hall booking £70 and lots of McDonalds happy meals I think about £50. I pulled the reins in on party bags and this time did a themed sweet which I bought in bulk for £15. But in previous years I've spent more, but it is a waste.

If this is the first party for your first child I understand getting caught up in the excitement of it all and the budget blowing up like that. It can seem like all aspects are important.

After a few parties some things are no longer important, at the recent party I pondered over decorating the hall and decided not to bother which was the right decision as it saved money and kids didn't care as the entertainer made it special.

I would still have the party but if possible bulk out numbers a little bit. Parents will stay at that age too so that will help fill up space if you have booked a large venue.

Good luck on the day x

LookAtThatCritter · 03/09/2024 15:57

It sounds like a great party. If you have the money and that's how you want to spend it then that's your prerogative. I hope she has a great time!! I wouldn't cancel, just check that siblings are invited and attending. Maybe see if you have any other friends/neighbours that might want to come. But they'll have a great time even with just 9, you don't have to fill the numbers and invite people you don't want just to fill it up 😊

Kitkat1523 · 03/09/2024 15:58

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:45

For people saying that £1000 is far too much, we’ve spent:

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

and then food and party bags.

these kids are 3….I mean what do you need to make you happy at 3??

Back garden/front room ….free
decor home bargain …..30 quid
bouncy castle ….if it’s 100 quid in your area?
pinata home bargain. 7 quid
pin the horn on the unicorn home bargain …£1
food and party bags …..60 quid max
cake …..Aldi caterpillar cake ….a fiver

all this could be done for less than a quarter or £1k

what you going to do when she’s older …..her expectations will be thru the roof

but if you have lots of money then go for it

Stompythedinosaur · 03/09/2024 15:59

Why would you cancel if you can't get a refund? Your dd will still have fun. 9 kids is plenty.

What party decor costs £300!

Hobnobswantshernameback · 03/09/2024 16:00

Dear god
how much will the PFB have spent on their 18th birthday?

rosydreams · 03/09/2024 16:00

i would be thinking of cancelling but first is there any relatives kids or other people you can invite

this is why i keep birthdays cheap

i once tried invite just a handful for trampoline and pizza party.I confirmed with all the parents before booking and one showed up .People are just the worst

Ceebs85 · 03/09/2024 16:00

Have you got a WhatsApp chat with any mums? Any cousins etc that could come? If a lot of the money is now dead money if you cancelled I'd go ahead.

Not the same but my august-born had a soft play party where only half the people came and it was great, much less overwhelming and meant she actually appreciated who was there