To hunt down these bastards who exposed my son to chicken pox

[littleredbumblebee]

User name changed as outing

went on a caravan holiday last week for 5 nights and my son who is 11 played with some kids from other families and had a great time- all good

On the last night one of the smaller boys was running around with no shirt on and he has spots, one of the other families asked and his mum said oh he has chicken pox but we though getting away would do him good.

I told her my son had never had chicken pox and said I bloody hoped my son was not going to come down with them. One of the other parents also said they should not have brought the kid. Basically it ended up with them going inside the caravan in a huff. The next day we all left

So today the day before my son is use to start at high school he woke up covered in spots and now has chicken pox and won’t be in for his first week at high school. Tonight he is now crying saying he won’t name any friends now and he won’t know his way around and no amount of comforting will calm him down. Very few kids for his school are going to this high school and he is so upset he will have missed out on making friends.

We have been in touch with his form tutor who has been great and has said they will support him and catch him up but I could bloody scream. How can some people be so bloody selfish.

During the week of starting high school isn't the best, to be fair to the op.

It reduces the risk of shingles in those who got the vaccine, but increased vaccination in others increases the risk of shingles in those who have had chicken pox before because repeated exposure to chicken pox acts as a booster for those who have already had it, and who are too young to get the shingles vaccination.

Did you read the bit about the “caravan holiday”? Hardly 14 nights in the Taj Mahal! 🙄Lots of parents I know work and budget strictly year round to be able to have a few days holiday with their family or put the expense of a holiday on a credit card.

Just for the ones who have not read my early post we did get him vaccine but he had a reaction to the first dose and was told he could not have the second dose. We only heard about it by chance though another parent

Your poor ds op , hopefully he feels OK with it,,dd had it around age 5 or 6 it went through her class. When I had just brought her home from the hospital (premie baby spent 9 weeks in nicu) a friend came to visit with her child who was off school because she had the chicken pox!! Some people don't give others a 2nd thought.

What a shame he didn’t catch them as a younger child.

No I am prioritising the MH of a teenager who witnessed her father attempting to murder her mother.

Yes I could have used that money for a vax, didnt need to as she had CP when she was little as she picked it up in nursery, before the assault. However, I am happy to concede that I could have done.

But my point is that you have no knowledge as to why people prioritise as they do, or to say "Well you DO have the money....." when, for their own reasons, they have decided that they dont. The OP asked whether she was BU for being pissed off that this family knowingly allowed their poxy kid to play with other kids, and I would say that no she isnt. There was a thread on here some years ago now, where a kid developed CP on holiday the day they were due to go and the mother asked if they could go on the flight and try to get away with it. The majority response was to go for it.

You are in a very privileged position, why not simply own that instead of trying to justify your choices and concede that others may not have the same options as you do?

I'm so sorry you and your daughter went through that.
Honestly most people know chicken pox is mild and vaccine isn't needed, it's just mumsnet where everyone is rich, everyone has lazy husbands and everyone pays money for things that aren't needed.
Personally I could afford the vaccine but even if I had thousands in the bank I wouldn't get it so don't let any arsehole make you feel bad.

SoupDragon
I mean, yes it is shit and was irresponsible of them but at least he won't get it during his GCSEs now.

No guarantee of that. My DS has had chicken pox three times. I didn’t know it was possible.

5 nights in a caravan is a fairly cheap holiday.

If, as my eldest DD does, you know the person who owns it and is doing you a favour, it can be a free holiday!

Wow, some of the comments! Breathtaking! Especially the one about 'everyone' having a car to even have insurance, and 'everyone' having home insurance. Never had either, and know many people who don't.

Anyway, @littleredbumblebee I'm really sorry to hear your DS is going to miss the first week of secondary, and that he is so upset, poor lad. Me or my sister gave chickenpox to my 40 something neighbour when we were young kids, and he was off work for weeks, self employed as well! My kids both had it really young I think.
Just wanted to add some support and also to say that my DS missed the first over a week of secondary, because of school placement appeals. He actually attended another school for a week, then unexpectedly got accepted to another. It was a concern for sure, and like your DS no one he knew was going there, but he settled in absolutely fine. Hopefully your DS does too, there's every chance he will 💐💐. Maybe have a word with the pastoral care teacher, see if they know of a couple of nice kids they could have a word with that would agree to show him around or whatever, I think that's what my DS school did. xx

I feel sorry for him, it is really bad timing but chicken pox is usually worse for adults, it’s probably better he has it now than in the future.

Shouldn't you get chickenpox in childhood as it is better than getting it in adulthood?

Once you've had it you are immune for life, so whilst timings are bad, it probably is for the best.

I was left with a little scar by my left eyelid. It is either gone now, or the wrinkles camouflage it 😁

If the OP has enough money for an annual caravan holiday, she should be capable of saving a few quid a week and saving up for the vaccine even if money is tight. (FWIW, I think it should be available on the NHS - nearly every other country considers CP to be a standard mandatory vaccine.)

The thing is, CP is inevitable if you don’t do the vaccine, so it’s weird to not vaccinate and them fume when your child catches CP.

@StolenChanel I would never have knowingly got my child infected with a disease. A small minority get really really ill with CP, and I’d never have forgiven myself if they’d got it because I thought it would be convenient timing. That said, I’m glad my kids had it young, and got it out of the way.

Do you not have the vaccine in your country?

There is no real evidence of this. Most of the developed world now vaccinates against CP, and such countries have not seen age-adjusted increases in the incidence of shingles.

The real reason why the UK has not included the CP vaccine as part of standard healthcare is because the original plan was to add CP to the MMR vaccine, but when this was about to start, the Wakefield scandal broke and MMR vaccination rates fell through the floor. It was decided that adding another element to the MMR vaccine when people were already so nervous about the MMR would be unwise, as it might cause take-up rates to fall even further, and offering CP vaccine as a single, separate vaccine was considered too expensive. Therefore, the NHS decided not to bother, and parents have been fed this nonsense about “It’s to protect the elderly against shingles!”as an attempt to justify this.

If the purpose of not-vaccinating was to protect the elderly against shingles, then NHS advice about CP would be “When your child catches CP, please take them out and about and expose as many people as possible and get that wonderful CP virus around everywhere!” The fact that the the NHS advice tells parents to hide their kids away when they have chickenpox should tell you that the “It’s to prevent shingles in the elderly!”stuff was always bollocks.

Did you even read ANY of the thread 🙄

Sorry I had not seen your post that he had an allergy to the vaccine. The worst part of chicken pox is that it opens you up to getting shingles especially in times of stress. Hope he is feeling better soon.

My DH had never had it.

There's something extra shitty about people who deliberately expose others like this.

It's one thing catching it, it's another when it's from deliberate exposure. Hope your son is ok.

I don’t care why people prioritise the way they do, I am sure they have good reasons as you proved. I object to the fallacy of pleading poverty when the truth is the vaccine just isn’t prioritised. Ofc this is all hypothetical for you as you never actually had to prioritise one over the other.

You have no idea as to what choices I had or my relative privilege & options.

It’s not £3 a week though is it? Because that’s not how pharmacies charge for things. £150 is a big whack for a lot of people and there’s a lot of ignorant people on here acting as if it’s not and that OP is a terrible parent for not vaccinating

Oh the poor lad! Of course he’s upset, any child would be.

I doubt it is any comfort, but they spend half of Y7 un-making the friends they made in the first week and finding their actual tribe.

I hope he can watch loads of movies and eat ice cream on the couch while he recovers.