To hunt down these bastards who exposed my son to chicken pox

[littleredbumblebee]

User name changed as outing

went on a caravan holiday last week for 5 nights and my son who is 11 played with some kids from other families and had a great time- all good

On the last night one of the smaller boys was running around with no shirt on and he has spots, one of the other families asked and his mum said oh he has chicken pox but we though getting away would do him good.

I told her my son had never had chicken pox and said I bloody hoped my son was not going to come down with them. One of the other parents also said they should not have brought the kid. Basically it ended up with them going inside the caravan in a huff. The next day we all left

So today the day before my son is use to start at high school he woke up covered in spots and now has chicken pox and won’t be in for his first week at high school. Tonight he is now crying saying he won’t name any friends now and he won’t know his way around and no amount of comforting will calm him down. Very few kids for his school are going to this high school and he is so upset he will have missed out on making friends.

We have been in touch with his form tutor who has been great and has said they will support him and catch him up but I could bloody scream. How can some people be so bloody selfish.

I didn’t even though you could get a chicken pox vaccine wonder why it’s not advertised more?

Fair enough and well done for seeking the vaccination, even if it didn’t work for your ds. Unfortunately it isn’t possible to avoid exposure, so ds was going to catch it eventually. As others say, better to catch it as a child than an adult - my father caught it from me and was very ill for a month.

Nope - me neither!

DD(9) hasn’t had chicken pox (yet)

The two are not alike. The serious side effects are much rarer than the serious CP complications. The CP vaccine saves the lives of children.

Well maybe parents should be respected for their choice regardless of what that is since both carry a risk and in the majority of cases chicken pox is not a big deal

It’s only difference is in dose- the two vaccines vaccinate against the exact same virus - herpes zoster. It’s not like shingles is a different disease from chicken pox like measles is different from mumps

Yes, there is a potential for side effects with ANY medical intervention. There is also a real risk of harmful side effects from contracting chicken pox ‘naturally’. My friend’s dc had a stroke as a result of it - evidently the most common cause of paediatric stroke - and was hospitalised for months touch and go as to whether they would survive, and lingering uncertainty around impact longer term.

In the early 90s when pox parties were a thing and pox vaccine wasn't a staggering 25 people on average died from cp with 80% of those being adults so no its hardly saving thousands of lives is it

Then you simply have to not care about catching it which is what a PP mentioned as well. If you are literally on the poverty line, then there are many things you learn not to care about and in the grand scheme of things, chicken pox is really not a big deal. However the odd thing is that OP is raging and fuming about her son catching it which clearly means it WAS important to her. Then why not just scrape together the £150 and get it done with. Especially considering his age, it was almost invariable that he would end up with a more serious case which entails more disruption for the entire family.

Again, this isn't about how many people can objectively afford or not afford the vaccine. It's about how important something is to you, and whether that importance necessitates the drive to spend money on the solution.

As another PP said, the premise being posted here is that OP's son was simply expected to go through his entire adult life unvaccinated but never catch the virus?

I respect her choice to not vaccinate, what I do not respect is the tone of entitlement in how she expects her unvaccinated DC to be free to roam around playing with other kids and still be shielded from catching a very common, very contagious childhood virus.

Its not other people’s problem that her child is unvaccinated.

Maybe not in teeny tiny Great Britain. Globally, yes.

I had no idea there was a vaccine tbh and I was one of the unlucky ones who got it at 22.

So sorry OP that he's caught it and missing his first week, hopefully he will feel better soon!

It sounds like your son may have caught it elsewhere as it's usually at least 2 weeks after exposure for the first spots to appear.

I can understand the disappointment though. My DS's chickenpox appeared on the Monday of the week he was due to start reception. He was all scabbed over and able to start the following Monday so only missed 3 days. We were so sad he didn't start with the others but it actually turned out for the best, as the teachers made a lot of effort to settle him in and he got one-on-one tours of the school.

You can die from chicken pox. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20240229-why-dont-some-countries-vaccinate-against-chickenpox

Many people do not know there’s a vaccine, and others just can’t afford it. I had my youngest vaccinated after my eldest was hospitalised with chicken pox at two. I was also hospitalised when I had it as a toddler. I didn’t know the vaccine existed until a friend told me when I was telling her how worried I was. My eldest is still scarred. I was lucky to have the money to do it.

OP, YANBU for feeling angry that this family knowingly brought a child with chicken pox on holiday. Exposure to him could have had very serious consequences for some people, even including young children. It was very selfish of them.

Not standard practise in the UK at all, to the point I’m genuinely shocked that a kid has got it 11 having never had it!

They’ve done you a favour OP.. the older you get the more worrisome it is.

I save up all year to give my daughter a week in N.Wales. She has suffered immense trauma in her short life and I sacrifice a lot to save for it. No, I do not have £150 to spare. Its her favourite week of the year, Xmas? Whatever. Birthday? Not bothered. Llandudno.......thats the dream.

A caravan holiday in the UK is vastly different to a fortnights sunseeking in Europe cost wise.

And as several others have said, vaccinations are not without their side effects. Eldest DD had to have her vaccinations, as an adult, under clinical conditions. She reacted very very badly to her first set as a baby, she was admitted to hospital, so had no more. Her job in medicine means that she must have them, so they were done with full supervision in case of a reaction. As it was, there was no reaction, but she was by no means the first person that team had to do that for. "Just get the vaccination" is one of those "Just" sentences that is said by people who simply have no understanding of the potential consequences or difficulties that the person they are talking to may have.

Where are all of these posters living that a jab is standard for CP?? Or you can request and pay for one? This is a non problem OP.

25 out of a teeny tiny 58 million at the time but a vaccine is definitely needed and isn't a money making ploy at all as it saves lives. I'll stick with the pox parties thanks

Agree with those who said that you should have had your son vaccinated if you were so concerned.

Haven't read the full thread, but being exposed to chicken pox is actually good for people who have already had it and helps to prevent shingles, it acts as a booster.

So it isn't inherently bad for people with chicken pox to be exposing it to others. It has benefits too (but for a different group).

My DD had pox 3 times before she was 8, the vaccine might not work the same as natural immunity sometimes doesn't.

It is not very expensive in the grand scheme of having children, £75 per dose in Boots last year, 2 doses recommended.

Much cheaper than DH or me missing days from work whilst paying for childcare.

@MyToesAreHotNotInaSexyWay (very evocative username btw) Plenty of things aren’t routinely done in the UK, it doesn’t mean they aren’t a good idea (penny pinching NHS!)

OP hope your boy is better soon, it is rotten timing but sounds like the form tutor will look out for him.

Probably because adults who have had shingles say it's the most hellish experience they've ever been through, and you can get it repeatedly. If you can spare your children future suffering for the price of £150 with no downsides, it seems like a no-brainer. Children don't need to get chicken pox for any reason.

Entitlement, no.It’s just courtesy to let others know, that your child has chicken pox.
Personally if my child had chicken pox, l would be concerned for women who could be pregnant, the elderly.This vaccination is only available in the UK if you pay privately(not everyone is aware of this) so it’s not standard.
I don’t get all this berating, OP hasn’t done anything wrong.

@PyongyangKipperbang
”I save up all year to give my daughter a week in N.Wales. She has suffered immense trauma in her short life and I sacrifice a lot to save for it. No, I do not have £150 to spare.”

You can afford £150 to vaccinate her 1x while skipping 2 out of 7 days in Wales one year only and then go to Wales for a whole week every other year.

You simply are prioritising a full weeks holiday every year.

It’s your choice to do so, but you can’t argue poverty to the point you don’t have £150 to spare at any time the first ten years of your child’s life. If you’d put aside £15 a year, your DC would be vaccinated before reaching the age of OP’s 11yr old.

The issue is the bad timing, although he could have got covid or something else. It's better to get CP when you are younger than later on in life though.