Hi,
Advice appreciated. My manager has been having an affair with his manager for 2 years. Both married. During this time I had strong suspicions of course. There were many meetings when my manager asked me to step into meetings last minute, or cover for him - I now know this was because he was going to see her (and suspected at the time).
He has recently told me about the affair as they have split up and he is devastated. Since telling me, the boundaries of our relationship have really blurred - he is constantly messaging me and leaning on me for support. I am trying to be supportive but I know more about him and his personal life than I do some of closest friends. He seems to have no issues telling me anything about his sex life and I’ll be honest I have felt very uncomfortable with the number of messages and the content.
There is more. Because of the conflict of interest between him and his boss (ie the affair) he was moved to a new position. This position would have been a promotion for me and was a role I was told I was in line for and have worked very hard for. He explained to me that because of the affair the MD had moved him. He showed no sympathy for me in this situation. Of course the MD cannot admit this to me as I could complain.
in addition to all this I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time in 2 years. My manager is so caught up in his own situation he has shown little understanding of mine.
I feel lied to, unfairly treated, deceived. I have just told him to back off and I have signed myself sick from work (I am about to start cancer treatment anyway) but I have explained to the MD that actually the situation at work has been very draining and upsetting.
I am really worried about whether I have done the right thing.