MIL buying absolute tat for the children - AIBU to throw it away?

[AutumnPlease101]

MIL is well renowned for buying absolute tat for the children, she has no clue what they actually like so ends up just buying them whatever, even after I’ve told her to stop.

For example, one of my children has additional needs and really hates writing or holding a pen/pencil etc, but she repeatedly buys colouring books/writing pads even after I’ve told her how much it stresses him out and to buy him sticker books instead - something he enjoys and will actually use (and no she’s not buying it to be helpful or try and teach him how to write etc).

We have also moved house and have literally no storage space and the children’s new rooms are 1/3 of the size they used to be - we just don’t have space for all the crap she keeps buying. She keeps on saying that she wants to buy them things, so I’ve suggested things that will actually be helpful such as sensory toys or things like that, but she still keeps buying all this other stuff instead.

AIBU to just throw it all away now, especially since I’ve told her so many times and she’s not stopped?

I echo PP's suggestion of telling her any gifts must be kept at her house. I don't see why you should have to go to the effort of regifting, donating or finding somewhere to take the unwanted/unsuitable gifts. She's deliberately ignoring what would suit your children and buying something else instead, so take it she's messing with you. She'll stop buying crap once she realises she'll have to deal with it herself.

DH told his mum that whenever she felt the need to buy something, either ask us first or put the money in a savings account for her instead.

She buys tat too. And regularly big ticket items that we would have kept for birthday/Christmas. And then buys multiple types of them. It's madness.

Why does OP always seem to be in the arse end of no where and any sensible, logical advice they get given is shot down with some logistical horror. I’m sure there is a charity shop local enough to you or yes, donate them to the kids school. 🙄

I sympathise though with the tat buying MIL. Ours buys them packets & packets of cheap sweets they don’t like, that sit in the cupboard for ages before being binned. Always ooodles of cheap shite no one wants so she can turn up with her arms full after spending about a fiver 🙄

Just hand it her back or say keep it your house.
Give the rest to a charity shop
Absolutely do not throw it away for it end up in landfill or burnt.

Put it in food bank/similar donation point at supermarket maybe? Or FB marketplace, items for free.

Ask MiL to keep the tat / lovely thoughtful gifts at her house for when the children visit.

If she doesn't listen to that message then either say .....

........no thanks we already have one of those, or

........take the tat without a word and immediately regift/charity box/school fete/dump it depending on how bad it is.

Can you put it on a Facebook marketplace group MIL belongs to? Every single time…

”unused, my children don’t like this stuff. Free to anyone who would.”

Could be a good Idea to Ask MIL to keep it at hers, and say it’s so She has supplies for the children . Then She Will experience first hand What they like/Don’t like.

Or Are there play groups , Church groups or parent/child groups You could donate to ? I’m sure they would be very appreciative.

YWNBU to donate it, but YABU to throw it in the bin. There just has to be a place to donate it. I know it's extra work for you and it's annoying bit honestly, nearly everyone has at least one relative that can be guaranteed to get it wrong.

I used to have a couple that would send either things we already had, things they had no interest in and/or total crap.

Not your problem she doesn’t have space at her house. Everytime she comes with something, tell her she has to take it back and keep it at hers, that you have no space. If she complains she has not space, tell her she shouldn’t have bought it then, you asked her to stop. Don’t take it just this once. Stand firm

Hang your head in shame if you actually mean bin it.

Take it to a charity shop, re-gift, list on marketplace for free, put the paper on the compost heap or use in party bags.

My MIL used to do the same! Every weekend at the car boot and turn up with a bag full of stuff. In the end I bagged stuff back up and took it there and said she could keep some there as we didn’t have space and kids could play with it there. Her face was not always impressed but I said I have no space or kids were not playing with it and may prefer to use it there when they aren’t playing with their other toys. Other stuff I put in the charity shop.

My mil was exactly the same and most of it was tat. We live around 50 miles away and sil lives close so she’d just buy my son whatever the cousins were into and most of the time it was stuff he’d never play with.
For the rubbish stuff I used to give away to charity or on a local free Facebook group.
For the more expensive stuff I used to tell my son to smile, say thank you nicely and not take it out the packaging. We’d then put it on eBay and I’d let him have the money. Luckily we lived so far away that she never knew.
She bought such random things! One year for Christmas she got him a fish tank and all the set up for tropical fish! He had never shown any interest!
Luckily now he’s older he gets a voucher!

you nod and smile and say thanks a mil. then it goes straight in a Box. Once Bix fairly full or if full allready put up on Facebook free to good home page. if not food banks charities that collect nurseries. speak to your kids schools could be children they knwo are struggling n would appreciate it.

Not unreasonable.
regift and sell.

Can you suggest some activity/ experience gifts they might like?

Charity shop
Baby bank
👌
Don’t throw away

Can't any of your children use the colouring books and pens? Just because the 1 can't 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you havent got charity shops locally......... donate to your kids school for the school fete or after school club/breakfast club.
And as you live in an area with a lot of old people - donate to old peoples homes - colouring/drawing is a popular activity with older people.

Please don't chuck it in landfill, there are kids with next to nothing. If you list a big bag for life of brand new toys on Facebook someone will come and collect it.

If you take it into your children’s school they can either use it at wet play times or give to families who would appreciate the extra items

Donate to your school, I’m sure they can use them as raffle prizes etc.

I just stick everything either at the end of our drive with a free to collect or on FB. Just because there’s old people near you, doesn’t mean they don’t have grandkids to continue the cycle on to :P

YANBU to not want this stuff. YWBVU to just bin it when, as PP have posted, there are loads of other options no matter where you live. First stop, for me, would be DCs school, either pre or after school club, or to sell at the summer fair. Try the BHF, near me they collect donations although I assume you would have to have at least one bin bag full. Your local Home Start is also worth a call, or local women's shelters. Or local churches for Christmas events or in their play groups.

The food bank can take them, even "grey" areas have families in poverty alas