To feel I wasted the 6 weeks holiday

[hi2416]

I work term time so I can get same holidays as mum kids so I can’t even use the excuse I was working as I wasn’t. I feel incredibly sad and upset with myself for wasting the holidays away. First 3 weeks we had lots of play dates abs catch ups with family then I got Sick, the kids got sick then DH got sick. I feel embarrassed what the kids will say when asked what they did. We didn’t even leave our city! I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time on play dates. I wish I had made some memories alone with the kids.

You can't help that you're sick and I think you're being way too hard on yourself.

I work full year so not same situation but due to this, DS has done loads of football club. Because of this, on my days off he's had loads of downtime, which includes a lot of screen time and errands with me etc. He's not even that bothered about play dates other than with extended family. Admittedly he's had some decent days out with DH and other family, but I doubt anyone will ask him about them when he gets back to school. And if anyone asks him if he went away anywhere we went to a very unexotic destination in UK but I really don't think others will care.

My Mum was a SAHP. I know we would have seen friends for very standard play dates locally but for the most part I just remember sitting in my PJs happily watching Saved by the Bell, with maybe one proper theme park trip in the 6 weeks as a treat and a Mcdonalds at the end. I have a fond feeling when I think about it now, and it hasn't done me any harm!

I do have a friend who took her kids away 3 or 4 times this holiday and by the 3rd week at a caravan park or in a Devon cottage, can't remember which, the photos of the kids holding an ice cream while standing next to things did look a bit pained.

This is the equivalent of feeling fed up / low on Sunday night because you don’t want to go to work or school on Monday except it’s six weeks’ worth rather than just a weekend. You had a nice relaxing summer til illness struck - that is just fine!

Nb if it is Covid then antibiotics aren’t going to do much!

It's common to feel like this. People feel the pressure to give their kids loads of exciting experiences etc but the kids are happy with the simple stuff and little memories. What you see on soical media is just snippets of people's lives. What dd10 has enjoyed most is playing with her friends. They'd pop to the shop and then hang out in the garden making up dance routines etc. We've had a handful of plans but the rest of the time has just been go with the flow.

@Dreamcatchergirl

Not just you. Our holidays as a kid were mostly at home for six weeks. Every other year we would get a week in a caravan if the previous year had been ok financially. We'd end up at aunts or grandparents and would make our own entertainment. I have fond memories of my mum teaching me how to play chess and finally beating my great grandad at draughts. Then there was the one year I got heatstroke playing at my aunt's. There was never the expectation we would go to a zoo or soft play or whatever. As a result I haven't done anything big with our kids this year. Free parks, our nation trust membership and crafts at home have featured heavily.

I grew up in the 80s and early 90s. We were skint, didn’t have many holidays, rarely had food out /days out maybe a chippy more often and as we got older mac donald’s was the big big treat.

Our 6 week holidays would have been at home, i have amazing memories of time in the garden in paddling pools, water fights, playing, on our bikes in the streets. Going to relatives or them coming to us. Seeing friends and going out and about as i got older with £1 bus saver and £1 for Greggs.

One of my friends kids are out and about every weeksend and some evenings doing this and that, They are bought the world by their family, always eating out etc. Amazing holidays. Loss of days out, It’s great that they can do that but they never have time at home to just relax and play with all the bloody toys they been bought.

My point is we still alll have memories my memories are very simple things but i things i loved to do. It didn’t matter that we didn’t have meals out or holidays all the time. I still enjoyed my childhood. It doesn’t have to be on the go all the time.

Honestly the most simple things are the memories your kids will remember…. go for a walk maybe a cake in a cafe, play in the garden with them, crafts at the table, movie afternoon with popcorn/snacks.

I’ve been TTO now for over 20 years and can’t remember a single meaningful thing I’ve ever done or accomplished in those 6 weeks, other than relax. My kids, now grown adults don’t remember anything we ever did with them either!

Family life and love is as much about the shit times, the sad times, the boring times and the ill times as the beaches and fun fairs.

How about planning something fun for October half term?

OP, I have a life limiting, chronic illness which leaves me laid down all day every 3/4 days. Sometimes much more than that, sometimes it's multiple days in a row. I'm also a single parent so whilst we have had some days out, more of the holidays have been spent with me laid down on the sofa and my DC playing Minecraft most of the day (we have a few games we've invented which enable to stay laid down whilst still playing, so I always make sure we play for a while each day and that DC has screen breaks. But ultimately we've been stuck inside wayyyyy more than we've been out. I just asked DC for a verdict on how the summer holidays went and was told "Amaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzing!!!" was the response.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Just to add to my previous post, apparently the best part of summer was our trip to Beamish for the day and our night in a Premier Inn afterwards.
So that was a day and a half away and then two days out. Out of 6 whole weeks and DC is very happy!

Go easier on yourself OP.