To feel I wasted the 6 weeks holiday

[hi2416]

I work term time so I can get same holidays as mum kids so I can’t even use the excuse I was working as I wasn’t. I feel incredibly sad and upset with myself for wasting the holidays away. First 3 weeks we had lots of play dates abs catch ups with family then I got Sick, the kids got sick then DH got sick. I feel embarrassed what the kids will say when asked what they did. We didn’t even leave our city! I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time on play dates. I wish I had made some memories alone with the kids.

You can't help being sick, and I'm sure the kids really enjoyed the first few weeks of play dates and seeing family. That sounds lovely.
We had the other extreme. My kids have just spent 5 weeks travelling around Asia. Obviously, this was amazing, and I'm very thankful we had this experience. However, it was often too hot or too wet (monsoon) to do anything. It was all quite intense and exhausting. The kids haven't really had any downtime at all and are now about to go back to school. So there are pros and cons.
You can plan a more adventurous summer for next year, if you'd like to.

Kindly - what the hell are you worrying about?! Your kids saw friends and saw family and chilled out and please stop being sucked into the hackneyed, oppressive, comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy insta-fuelled self recrimination! Your holidays sound fine - apart from the illness which is out of your control - please give yourself a break!

DH and I have both worked crazy hours, so my kids have spent a lot of time at home alone.

We had a holiday the first 10 days, which seems like a distant memory already.

I can't feel guilty, we were working to keep a roof over their heads and my kids are massive homebodies anyway so happiest at home, sleeping in till noon.

Sometimes kids are happiest just playing with their friends! I have great memories of my own childhood just playing in the garden/street/park. I used to do quite a lot with mine but they also loved having a play date or just going to the local play park with their wee friends!
And if you're ill you’re ill you can’t help that! No point in beating yourself up about it!

Another one here who thinks you are being too hard on yourself. My favourite memories of summer as a child are of playing in the paddling pool in the garden. I'm sure your DCs have enjoyed the lack of a school routine, and spending time with you.

OP I have been berating myself that DC haven’t really had any play dates because we’ve been travelling so much! You can’t win as a parent - sometimes we feel guilty whatever we do (or don’t do)

We went away first week had to leave due to illness had Covid the entire 6 weeks nightmare taking ages for my autistic son to recover so can’t go far and I’m a single parent I feel awful for them tooo they seem to be happy though

Op I'm a teacher and honestly the first two weeks I could barely function! I had 3 hospital stays last year too and did end up on antibiotics for those first two weeks with a nasty infection.

Week 3 we started to do a bit more then week 4 my children each went away with family (one at a time).

Then it was week 5 so we did a few days out and ended this week with a few days away at a caravan park!

So I feel you! I feel completely unprepared for the new school year, my house is a tip and I've still school shoes to get!

But healthwise I feel so much better and tbh I think we needed a quieter summer!

A lot of parents work full time over the school holidays.. You can’t sit there regretting not doing this that and the other with them, what does it change? Nothing.

You have every weekend to do something with them so why don’t you plan something nice for the next few weeks on the weekend instead of moping about not having done much over the school holiday.

Hold your head high move on and plan some nice day trips for September weekends

P.S Looking back I couldn’t tell you what I did with my parents over the 6 weeks holidays when I was younger so really, I wouldn’t worry about this year being a duff one

Honestly don't worry, you'll be surprised by your child's take on it all.

Mine were meant to have a holiday at the in-laws but had to come back after a few days due to sickness. What do they say was the best time this six week holiday? The day we did three new parks in one day. Yes seriously three free council run parks that we've not been to before within a three mile radius. I asked them this week what they wanted to do. Did they say zoo or cinema? Nope wanted to go to the NT ten minutes down the road that we've done a million times this year.

Side note - not sure if anyone else agrees but suddenly it’s become the new thing to take your kids to the zoo, theme park, on holiday or on days out every day? I’m early 30’s now but pretty sure myself and my friends never did all that on the 6 weeks off. Would maybe be a week or two holiday and the rest just play dates and making up games with our friends like kirbseys or whatever it’s called haha.

I think social media puts a lot of guilt on parents these days, seems like everyone is out with their child constantly.

OP you are being hard on yourself. Go online and book some weekend activities for the family over the next month so you will have something to look forward to.

Sickness can't be planned for - and also doing very little and facing a little boredom can be genuinely good for kids

Even if you'd been on a different adventure every week, they'd still remember very little of it. When my dc were younger, we spent the summer going to museums and libraries and castles and everywhere to get stamps for a free ticket to see the moon - a big event in town where a huge model of the moon was hanging from the ceiling in the old market hall. We also did things like star gazing in a dark skies area to try and see the constellations we'd seen at this moon thing. What do they actually remember? The time it rained so heavily on our way to the hospital to collect some medication that we couldn't see out of the window and the wipers were going mad and we had to drive really slowly.

Your dc well remember that you were there, they were loved and safe, and nothing bad happened. That is what is important.

Thavk you all. I go back tomorrow (Monday) the kids go back Wednesday. They’re going to be at home with DH who is working from home. I feel bad for them as it will be tv and devices all day again. I wonder if I’ve got covid, I’ve never felt so unwell. I finished my Antiobiotics today (will be taking my last dose in a few hours).

Just accidentally clicked on Facebook as you do! I just saw so much in my feed that everyone has done. It makes me feel so crap. My house is a mess and I feel so disorganised. I so wish I had planned better and made some fun memories with my kids. Does anyone have any tips that I could do with the kids today?

You're not well enough to go out with kids in tow, and it sounds like DH got sick last so neither is he. Treat it as a day of rest but get organised what you can for Weds.

Honestly they're off again in under 6 weeks and it's for 10 days here!

I have deleted fb for this reason. Couldn't stand people building up the relatively normal things they do as if it was the most amazing memory building event ever. Baking cupcakes, walk in the park... Wow look at us!!!!!!

We've had a low key summer. We've done trips to seaside towns. The kids most enjoyed picking blackberries locally. I was off work these last two weeks and really needed to recharge so we did.

I'm planning some weekends in September and hopefully a holiday in October half term.
Life is what you make it OP. If sickness comes, you have to alter plans. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just know you can make the most of future days 😉

Please do not worry about the kids, they will remember playing with their friends a lot. And parents letting them have screen time which they probably loved too (if they're like my kids).
We took kids to Disney and my youngest favourite things was the bloody pigeons wandering in the park in Animal Kingdom! And the thing the thought was funniest was grandad jumping in the pool with all his clothes on and that we let them jump in with their PJs on.

Honestly it's so fine

Sorry, meant to say the Disney trip was a few years ago as kids are older now.
We haven't been away this holiday so lots of lie-ins and lazy days here too

I don’t know where all this pressure for performative holidays comes from

a holiday is a break from the routine

you had that

maybe take them swimming if you feel up to it

but really it is fine

If you're feeling well enough; cinema, trampoline park, zoo, mini golf?
If not, lounge picnic with treat food and a movie marathon? Garden day with paddling pool, obstacle course, chalk drawings on the pavement/fence?

Agree with this.

Outings are nice but racing around "making memories" is so contrived. Nothing wrong with a nice laid-back summer.

Don't worry about the facebook lot- they're only sharing the best of their lives, this could be a brief 5 minutes in another wise crappy holiday. Everyone posts "Kids having fun in the pool #blessed" but they all forget to post:

• Dave and I had a massive row all the way to the hotel because I think I saw him glance at air stewards tits.
• The minute we walked into the hotel room one of the kids did a huge poo and the whole place is gonna stink of it for 3 days.
• Surprise! No-one will eat anything from the all-inclusive buffet so it's off to McDonalds, fan-flipping-fabulous!