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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel devastated after being blocked by a friend, especially before my holiday?

36 replies

Curiousminds123 · 30/08/2024 19:50

I’ve recently been blocked by a close friend, and it’s really affecting me. We had a good conversation the last time we spoke, and had plans for yesterday. Didn’t hear anything and now I’m blocked.

This situation is especially hard for me because I’m about to go on holiday tomorrow, and it feels like this has completely ruined my mood. I’m feeling confused and upset because I thought our friendship was strong.

AIBU to feel this way, and how should I handle this situation moving forward, especially since I’m about to leave for a trip?

OP posts:
comedycentral · 30/08/2024 19:51

Do they have form for ruining nice moments for you?

whatatool · 30/08/2024 19:51

How do you know you're blocked?

Original poster
Curiousminds123 · 30/08/2024 19:53

whatatool · 30/08/2024 19:51

How do you know you're blocked?

My calls and messages don’t go through and I’m blocked on WhatsApp

OP posts:
TinyYellow · 30/08/2024 19:56

Can you think of any reason why she’d do this?

If one of my best friends did this for no apparent reason I’d be knocking on their door out of worry for their mental health.

MindatWork · 30/08/2024 19:56

Unless your friend has form for doing stuff like this I’d be more concerned than upset! Do you have any pot-stirring mutual friends who might have said something to them about you, or is there anything that’s happened between you that could have caused it?

Do they have a partner you can message to make sure they’re ok?

TheClawDecides · 30/08/2024 20:01

Weird first thought.

Mine would be concern for her?

Are you not worried OP?

Gymmum82 · 30/08/2024 20:04

If I had plans to meet one of my close friends and they didn’t turn up and blocked me I’d be banging on her door to find out what the hell has happened. I wouldn’t be angry id be extremely worried

Silvers11 · 30/08/2024 20:08

MindatWork · 30/08/2024 19:56

Unless your friend has form for doing stuff like this I’d be more concerned than upset! Do you have any pot-stirring mutual friends who might have said something to them about you, or is there anything that’s happened between you that could have caused it?

Do they have a partner you can message to make sure they’re ok?

@Curiousminds123 I agree with this poster ^ Why haven't you gone round to see her and check what is going on?

moppety · 30/08/2024 20:10

Agree that I wouldn't immediately jump to being blocked unless there's some other back story here. I would think she has a phone issue or something else was wrong. Why would she block you?

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 30/08/2024 20:12

Agreed. Unless there was anything at all that she could have taken offence to or any cross words then I would assume a problem with her phone - unless this has happened before. Being blocked would not be the first conclusion I would jump to at all

Arlanymor · 30/08/2024 20:12

I’d be worried, not upset, unless I knew there had been a circumstance that might lead to this. Not sure why the holiday even figures into it to be honest. Wherever you go in the world these days you can (mostly) be in contact with people on the other side of the ocean. Do you have a mutual friend who can check that they are ok if you literally cannot contact them yourself via any medium?

Original poster
Curiousminds123 · 30/08/2024 20:21

For everyone asking me why I haven’t gone round, they have form for doing this yes, but only after conflict. We were fine. I have been blocked for sure, I don’t want to seem like I’m stalking or mad going to bang on their door. I’ve been trying to put it off my mind and not do that to give them space

OP posts:
PeachBlossom1234 · 30/08/2024 20:21

My ride-or-die best friend did this to me too and 2 years later I still have no idea why or what I did and it hurts like hell. I let myself feel sad and then moved on….its all you can do unfortunately.

BeckiWithAnI · 30/08/2024 20:26

If they have form for this kind of thing then they aren’t a friend. Friends can be relied upon. This is just emotional abuse and you are letting it happen.

Fedup92 · 30/08/2024 20:35

Ignore her and enjoy your holiday.

forgotmypassagain · 30/08/2024 20:38

Ignore her and protect yourself.

EmeraldRoulette · 30/08/2024 20:43

I’m sorry OP

I can’t believe how often we see this

Flippinec · 30/08/2024 20:49

PeachBlossom1234 · 30/08/2024 20:21

My ride-or-die best friend did this to me too and 2 years later I still have no idea why or what I did and it hurts like hell. I let myself feel sad and then moved on….its all you can do unfortunately.

Same thing happened to me. It made me very sad until I was able to accept that the friendship obviously wasn't what I thought it was if she didn't even have the decency to explain what I'd supposedly done. She and her narcissistic DH had loads of form for falling out with people for little/no reason though and me and my DH did used to joke that at some point it would happen to us...

Spirallingdownwards · 30/08/2024 20:52

You say you had plans for yesterday but didn't hear anything. Do you think she thought they were firm plans and turned up but you didn't because you hadn't heard anything so that is why she is cross?

sonjadog · 30/08/2024 20:52

So sorry this has happened to you, OP. I was ghosted in July by a close friend after he did something hurtful to me and I told him how I felt (calmly and non-accusingly). It just before I was going on annual leave and honestly, the whole thing completely ruined my holiday and whole summer. It really hurts, I know. For what its worth, I was so very sad about it for the first month, but now I am calmer and more pragmatic about the whole thing. Try to enjoy your holiday as best you can.

rubeelum · 30/08/2024 20:54

This is nuts behaviour. I’d be going round to a) check they’re ok and b) if they are discuss why they’ve done this.

Itiswhysofew · 30/08/2024 20:57

They obviously don't think anything of upsetting their friend.

Put it to one side and enjoy your holiday. If you want to when you're back, deal with it then.

Original poster
Curiousminds123 · 30/08/2024 21:00

Spirallingdownwards · 30/08/2024 20:52

You say you had plans for yesterday but didn't hear anything. Do you think she thought they were firm plans and turned up but you didn't because you hadn't heard anything so that is why she is cross?

Yes deffo firm plans, we had spoken about it just before. The day came, no answers to any of my contact asking if they’re okay etc, called me but I missed the call, and then I called back, and sent a few msg as had not heard back. Within hours I was blocked everywhere

OP posts:
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 30/08/2024 21:03

Curiousminds123 · 30/08/2024 21:00

Yes deffo firm plans, we had spoken about it just before. The day came, no answers to any of my contact asking if they’re okay etc, called me but I missed the call, and then I called back, and sent a few msg as had not heard back. Within hours I was blocked everywhere

Show quote history

Did you turn up as planned?

Original poster
Curiousminds123 · 30/08/2024 21:04

i noticed today that they had read my msgs on WhatsApp today, but after they had already blocked me yesterday (WhatsApp shows the time msgs are read if blue tick settings are on)

OP posts: