To censor DC's books?

[CSanDiego]

I've just been setting up an old Kindle for DD and going through and downloading "suitable" books from my library, with the intention of then setting it to only display the downloaded books. But... she's 12 now. Do I really need to still do this?

YABU - I let my 12 year old read anything
YANBU - some things (murder, rape, violence etc) a 12 year old doesn't need to read

A Little Life is an incredible book. I think it should be on the syllabus at AS/A level.

I think it’s reasonable to keep an eye on what they’re reading and steer them away from some books until they’re older but I really disagree with your criteria - ‘some things (murder, rape, violence etc) a 12 year old doesn't need to read.’ It’s about context and how it’s handled.

I don't think it's about the age, it's about the emotional maturity.

At 12 I read a lot of things that made me incredibly anxious and paranoid. Mostly things about relationships that I felt could easily happen in my world, not about monsters or murderers or anything.

You know your children best. If they are very sensitive, I would continue to censor.

Another one who read flowers the the attic and all manner of books with sex in. As well as all the horror.

Tbh, I'm convinced that reading lots of books with sex before I actually got any, taught me not to accept a substandard shag.

The only thing I've said to ds is that some books are better appreciated with a few more years behind you. Although Jane Eyre is dull at 11, 16 21 and 42.

I mean at 12 I was reading "flowers in the attic" so unless she's casually fifty shades I'd not stress too much!

Definitely start by downloading books you're happy for her to read then when she has a favourite author/genre etc you can find more.

The usborne older books tend to be good and relevant for early teens, they have age ratings too!

I wouldn't censor reading material .. they hear far worse on the news and at school. (thank you social media) I would however have a quick look myself and tell them if there's anything you don't like or don't understand, come have a chat but that is very child-dependent.

I'd actually faint if one of mine picked up a book voluntarily 😂

I read the Hannibal Lecter trilogy and a few books by Graham Masterton when I was 12-13. I turned out relatively normal 😎

" fifty shades" - I used to try and read my mums mills and boons 😂

Depends on the 12yo. Does she have the maturity to self police?

Let her read everything. A description of something awful in a book can be skimmed over in a way that you can't with a screen. I asked the same question when my dd started coming home with Stephen King books at 12yo, so I know where you are coming from. The only thing I would be careful of is Manga.

It's all the rage, not all the range.

But I agree you need to keep an eye on what's being recommended on social media etc.

I tried reading fifty shades, a few years back and tbh it was really badly written imo ,
As I recall although the content in books like Lace and Flowers in the Attic was pretty explicit there was an actual story line too.

I learnt everything I know about sex from Danielle Steel at around that age!

I haven't needed to censor books my children have read. My older son didn't read anything that worried me, my younger son doesn't read anything. I do discus what he's reading online A LOT, but that's a whole different thread.

I wouldn’t ‘censor’. I’d let them read whatever they wanted. If they’re upset, they’ll stop reading. If they’re not upset, it’s probably not doing them any harm.

I also think that it’s OK, and healthy, for kids to encounter things that scare or challenge them now and again in the safe environment of reading. That’s one of the ways we build resilience.

@x2boys oh there was a full series of flowers in the attic books! Then I read "my sweet audrina" and then loads of other Virginia Andrews series.

I did end up reading all the fifty shades books as they got a bit less about sex and bondage and more about Anastasia and Christian and I got sucked in .

When I was young, in the old days of taking out (real) library books, we were given access to the ‘adult’ library from age 12, so that seems like an appropriate age to let her choose her own reading material.

Yeah I know I read them all too they were all quite disturbing 🤣 the flowers in the Attic series i meant
I'll have t9 take your word for the 50 shades series,I coyosnt get through the first book.

I think censorship isn't a bad thing pre 16. I read lots of explicit sex scenes in science fictions at 12 and above. Some very disturbing dystopia like The Road which disturbed me as an adult

My friend’s daughter is about to go into sixth form. Her English teacher, who will be taking her for A-level, circulated a list of books to his class that they might like to try - not a compulsory reading list at all, just a ‘Here’s a list of books you might want to pick from to get into reading more over the summer’ kind of list. (My friend forwarded to me purely because I’m very into books and she knew I’d be interested.)

Anyway. A Little Life was one of the books recommended and I didn’t even raise an eyebrow at that. So I’m kind of amazed that a PP took it way from her daughter when she was sixteen!

Of course it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and yes, it’s extremely sad at times, but it’s exceptionally well-written and thought-provoking and certainly not gratuitous or gleeful in its depiction of abuse and trauma. There isn’t actually a lot of graphic detail about what happens to Jude as a child. A lot of the time, you’re left to fill in the blanks. Plus, one of the things that really stayed with me after I read it wasn’t the trauma Jude went through, but the kindness and love and patience his friends show towards him.

I think it depends on the child. I wouldn’t censor my oldest but would my youngest. Only you know what is appropriate for your own child OP.

My kids are too young but I would think parental monitoring is still needed at that age, similar to movies, social media etc. I don't think I would call it "censoring" though.

When I was a teen, my reading would be controlled in a way until I was old enough to go to the bookstore on my own and had pocket money, so around 15 I think. Before that, I would read the books from my parents library or ask for them to buy something for me. I would think a similar approach would be sensible at that age.

I was reading Agatha Christie, Steven King, James Herbert in my last year at Primary. And devoured my mums library choices. Jackie Collins. Shirley Conrad. Early Jilly Coopers. But I was a pterry introverted little bookworm. Didn't do me any long lasting harm apart from a rat phobia.

Depending how sensitive she is, I might well censor books. Things like the Hunger Games and the Divergent trilogy - once read, you can't unsee them.

I wouldn't censor what my 13 yo reads, I think from around 12 they should be able to read most things really.
The only book we own that I wouldn't want her reading is American psycho because of very graphic violence

Things like the Hunger Games and the Divergent trilogy - once read, you can't unsee them.

It was the Hunger Games that made me wonder!

@KreedKafer can you pm or post that list? I'd be interested too.

She hasn't actually ever asked me to buy her a book or to read a specific book, she reads either what she has on her bookshelf or what's on her kindle. I'd better remind her she can ask!