My boyfriend wrote a love letter to his ex

[mancity1234]

We’ve been together for more than a year and we are living together. Recently I saw a postcard he wrote to his ex girlfriend, but did not send yet. He was saying that he misses her and that he was sitting in their favorite cafe and wished she was there with him.

I confronted him about it and he came up with some lame excuses and refused to admit that what he did is bad and is a betrayal. I’m very loyal and caring and I ask for the same in relationship. He is trying to pretend I’m overreacting and it makes me doubt my sanity a bit, but I do feel very hurt and betrayed. I feel like I’m in a relationship with a cheater.

Oh, and half a year ago he sent her an expensive birthday gift. It has not been delivered and was returned, so I saw it. He said he’s sorry and that was a mistake.

Oh dear, I'm sorry OP. I couldn't be in a relationship where I felt second best.

I’m sorry OP he’s not over her. You need to cut your losses & get out 💐

No. In no way is that message appropriate to a former lover.

Do not allow him to make you doubt yourself. For his refusal to admit it alone I would be totally done with him.

This reminds me of Chris Rock saying that me are as faithful as their options. He is trying everything he can to be with someone else.

dump his ass.

if she even looks at him twice he’ll dump you for her.

Hey … don’t waste and more time. He love her. Let him go

Well, he's making his feelings very plain, isn't he?

There's only one thing to do and that's to end it, OP.

yanbu - he would clearly rather be with her. Did she break up with him by any chance ?

You deserve to be someone’s number one.

Please dump him, you deserve so much more

Yeah, move on. He's still hung up on her and while that's the case, he's not fully invested in your relationship.

Thank you all for your comments. He said he broke up with her. And that he does not have any feelings for her. He said she wrote a long letter to him complaining about her life and he was just trying to be nice. He said he was trying to match the style of her letter in the postcard, but then re-read it and it did not seem right, so he did not send it. But I have a weird feeling that all this does not sound like truth and sounds very weird. Of course he never showed me her letter or any other messages to/from her. But I still have a fraction of doubt, what if what he’s saying is true and I’m exaggerating. Out relationship was not that great lately, but before this I thought it’s manageable.

Your romantic relationship should not be manageable.

This. You're not over reacting, you are under reacting. Where is your line in the sand?

picture yourself married to him and a child maybe.

Nah, stuff that!

Sorry OP but his explanation doesn't make any sense.
He is obviously still pining for her.
He is making you feel insecure. You would be better ending things than settling for being second choice.

She never sent him a letter.

you know this deep down.

sounds like he’s creeping her out if she’s returned his gift

He’s still in love with her. He has betrayed you. Dump him.

He's still in love with her. Don't be anyone's second best.

Really sorry OP - what a horrible situation to be in. It sounds like he isn't over his ex yet. You deserve someone whose feelings are solely focused on you. I think I'd be considering whether or not I wanted to be with someone who clearly still has feelings for someone else. Big hugs x

Ouch! Yes- very much still caught up on the ex. It’s not been that long that you’ve been together so I think you should definitely move on and find someone emotionally available whilst you still can!
He’s got you in his life as his back-up/plan B. If she showed up tomorrow declaring that she wanted to reconcile, what does your gut tell you he’d do?
You’re not a plan B, don’t let him treat you like one.

This is not your man, OP. Save yourself any further heartache- let him go.

Get rid of him.

For me compared to any other form of communication a hand written letter/note with heartfelt connotations speaks volumes that he's not over her.
And I wouldn't believe a word of his explanation at being caught out.
Lying git.

She 100 percent did not send him a letter. If she did, he would have shown it to you. Also she would have accepted his gift. You can't trust him. You can do so much better. Dump him.

He still loves her and you’re his fallback plan. Let him go, you deserve more than that.