AIBU to be annoyed by people who think literally

[CunningStunt86]

One of my friends does this all the time. She will take everything I say, literally.
For example, we were in my garage (new place, so was showing her around) I explained that it'd be a good space, once I got rid of the cellar spiders that have taken over. She genuinely looked puzzled, and said... "cellar spiders? But this is a garage, shouldn't they be in the cellar?!!"
I was so taken aback, I just laughed it off
but she was being serious 🙈 I mean how do you respond to people like this?!

My FIL is exactly the same! I was in a museum and there was an old painting of a little boy in a funny costume that had a passing resemblance to DH as a child, so I sent it to the family WhatsApp with something along the lines of “I didn’t know DHs portrait was in here” and he replied that’s not DH, do you think it looks like him? 🙄

Also never heard of cellar spiders!

My DD is autistic and I never know when she is going to take something literally or fail to understand so I have to either being clear in the first place or patient when taking the extra time to explain.

I think I am also probably autistic. I have however mostly learnt over time that things should not always be taken literally.

It does catch me out sometimes though; we were out at the weekend and someone asked me for a "couple of wipes" as the child with them had chocolate ice-cream all over their face. Instinctively, I was in the process of very carefully trying to extract exactly two wipes when I realised that a) they had probably just said a couple for ease of phrase, b) they probably did need more and c) it didn't actually matter if I gave them four or five.

They are called cellar spiders. That is the common name. I can assure you, calling then Pholcus phalangiodes is far more baffling for most people.

Hi 5!

Me too.

OP...I can't stand it when NT people imply things and expect us to be psychic when they don't have the communication skills to say what they actually mean, so I feel your pain. It's really bloody annoying.

Have also literally never heard of a "Cellar" Spider until this thread.

These two are complete fuckers.

When my grandma says them to me, they are exactly what she means. When my colleagues say them, they are polite brush offs (?! I think? Maybe?). When it's parents from my kid's school, they are social niceties alone and insincere. When my neighbour says them it could be any or all.

How the living fuck are you meant to know what people mean?

I wouldn't be taken aback by someone not knowing that cellar spiders live anywhere they damn well fancy and are not just restricted to cellars. I don't expect the whole world to be a spider nerd or to have noticed there's a difference in spiders they see, to know that cave spiders might live under manhole covers and in canal tunnels, that woodlouse spiders will eat things other than woodlice.. etc etc.

But people taking things literally in order to be a bit of a dick, yes that is annoying. I just don't yours is an example of that.

Maybe she's autistic. Perhaps you should have more empathy for people who don't see everything your way. Particularly a friend

I had to Google them, I've never heard them being called cellar spiders before. I think YABU.

I also think the difference between what people say and what people mean really funny. Misunderstandings like the one you had are the spice of life.

Oh! It's a Daddy Long Legs! Everyday is a school day.

Daddy long legs fly. Cellar spiders are the long skinny legged ones.

I thought that was Crane Flies?

Daddy Long Legs come up when you google Cellar Spiders and vice versa.

Do you like your friend?

I don't understand why people are saying the OP spoke in riddles and didn't say what she meant?!

"once I got rid of the cellar spiders that have taken over"

It's one extra word that's actually irrelevant - it's perfectly clear what the OP means.

YANBU it's tiresome having to explain things to people who take everything literally - in what world would spiders actually have taken over

A cellar spider is the one with the long thin spindly legs and little body, they look a bit like a cranefly without the wings.

OP didn’t invent the name/term.

I don’t think this is a case of nd, more that your friend is a little dim.

They already have!
I knew it wouldn’t take long.
Only on Mumsnet.
Nowhere else seems so transfixed by suggesting Autism spectrum for every little trait these days.

Maybe the woman just hadn’t heard of cellar spiders.
It doesn’t make her autistic.

I’ve not heard of them, either.

No one said it made her autistic. They pointed out taking things literally and misunderstanding phrases can be a trait of ASD.

I think people aren't talking about the OP's sentence, rather the thread title.

Literal thinking and communication vs. Abstract/Implied thinking and communication.

The OP says she is frustrated with literal thinkers. And us literal thinkers are pointing out we feel the same about opposite type of thinker/communicator.

Cellar spiders can be distinguished from other long-legged spiders (and non-spider arthropods like harvestmen) by the number and position of their eyes.

Are you sure they're cellar spiders?

And, are you sure that there is absolutely nothing, that your friend has heard of, but you have not? You must know a lot.

I've never heard of cellar spiders either so would probably question it too

I do this sometimes. I can’t help it, I don’t always realise when people are joking. I tend to take comments literally on occasions. I always feel embarrassed when I realise!

Also, I just googled cellar spiders as I’d never heard of them. I know them as Daddy-long-legs.

I get you, OP. They are literally called cellar spiders, to everyone who seems to be struggl with the idea.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pholcidae

I’ve never heard of cellar spiders. I’d have no idea what you were talking about

You sound impatient, why not just explain. It’s a trivial thing to get annoyed about. From other responses it’s very interesting that people’s parents are thick as mince but they and their children are neurodivergent.

why is everyone so transfixed on not having heard of cellar spiders being the cause of this issue?

Do we only find House spiders in houses? No.. we get them in the shed/outbuildings too.

Its not a made up name, that some people know them as 'daddy long legs' is irrelevant, their common name is Cellar Spider, because like House Spider we don't use their latin names.

Im autistic, as are most of our family, and we still wouldn't have made the mistake of thinking you only get a certain species of spider in certain places to the point of needing to question what the OP was saying like her friend did.