AIBU to be annoyed by people who think literally

[CunningStunt86]

One of my friends does this all the time. She will take everything I say, literally.
For example, we were in my garage (new place, so was showing her around) I explained that it'd be a good space, once I got rid of the cellar spiders that have taken over. She genuinely looked puzzled, and said... "cellar spiders? But this is a garage, shouldn't they be in the cellar?!!"
I was so taken aback, I just laughed it off
but she was being serious 🙈 I mean how do you respond to people like this?!

Exactly. As an ND person, I wish people would mean what they say and not go around the houses trying to get to the point!

Or that whole part where they expect you to understand what they are talking about but they don't actually say it. It's very strange to me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Another vote for literal thinking. Also autisic though. Neurotypicals make speaking so much more complicated than it needs to be.

Cellar spider is a type of spider, but I would think alot of people don't know its an actual name of a spider, so you just say "oh no that's just the name of those really skinny long legged spiders, I guess they're called that becuase they live in cellars alot." You don't just expect her to know what specific type of spider you're referring to, you could have just said "spiders" if you didn't want to discuss types of spiders.

My autistic children take things very literally and don’t understand expressions. And I don’t call them cellar spiders either.

Aka autism.

Which you already knew and are just on a wind up.

Looked it up, looks like what we call a Daddy Longlegs hereabouts

We have lots of cellar spiders. You are being unkind though OP.

Oh god, this. Especially some of the threads on here!

YABU and don't sound particularly nice tbh.

Literal communication is the future for humanity. Imagine a world where humans say what they mean literally- miscommunications would evaporate overnight.

Cellar spiders are the spindly ones. The spindly with wings are daddy long legs or crane fly. Harvestman have long legs but a round body. 3 different types.

Oh I wish people would stop making this into an ASD issue. How are people supposed to know that you call a certain type of spider a cellar spider? You call the spider by it’s correct name or possibly, house spider. You both sound equally annoying.

Cellar Spider IS the correct name for it.

But she’s your friend- are you not used to it? Would you not explain and laugh a little to yourself?

@TomatoSandwiches exactly this.

My best friend is autistic as are her children. We are constantly fighting this with school re language and meaning around autism and children in particular.
She doesn't drive, for other reasons but has been assisting with teaching and training so I have been sitting in as friend and driver.

Simple things. Can you sit down, do you have ants in your pants.

So much distress

Daddy long legs can fly

Definitely. “We must have a coffee some time” “must you go?” I have to learn each and every one of them separately and store in an internal phrasebook.

I have a ND family and there are many of us like this. I have had to politely explain many times at work that I cannot always understand when I should or should not do a variety of tasks that are officially always, but actually sometimes, done, just by inference. Or indeed to 'read between the lines'. I only can with things I have said or written myself. I think literally: if I am told something, then that is what will happen/I will think. I work in a school; I view it as a good reminder to other staff to explain clearly for the benefit of our ND and EAL students. They can't shout when I don't work it out right...

I may not have asked why they weren't in the cellar (if I was aware there was no cellar), but not having previously heard of cellar spiders, I'd definitely have asked in puzzlement why they were in your garage.

I have never heard of cellar spiders, possibly a regional thing.

The literal thing would annoy me. Happily most of my friends like a good idiom

I've never heard the term cellar spider. Is that a specific type?

Dd1 is like this and drives her sister insane. We just explain things in different words. It could well be a ND thing unless you feel she's deliberately misunderstanding you to be annoying?

I have no clue what a 'cellar spider' is either, fwiw

Idioms and phrases don’t feel like riddles to some of us because the meaning seems so obvious. It took me having a ND DC to realise how literal thinking some brains are. It wasn’t obvious to me before that. It’s like some brains focus on actual words and other brains focus on context. This just leads to misunderstandings and even frustration.

I am a very literal thinker. It takes my brain extra time to work out what people actually mean which is absolutely exhausting and means I often reply literally/inappropriately. I then feel ashamed/self loathing for being socially inadequate. These feelings would be compounded if I thought my literal thinking annoyed others because I literally cannot help it. My daughter is the same.

I don't have any diagnosed neurodiversity (except dyslexia) but it just seems to be the way I'm wired, and not something I can help so I think YABU.

🙄

But OP didn't invent it! That's her point! Clearly we are losing the ability to interpret subtleties of language and I notice it a lot on here that people take things at face value. A lot of once common and understood terms are now being lost as people don't use them or have conversations anymore.

My husband always says 'stop taking things so literally' to me. Eg he'll say 'I'll be ready in 5 minutes', 20 minutes later he's not ready, im annoyed, and I'm being too literal. Just tell me it will 20 minutes.

Recently ex ASD