WIBU to take one DC but not the other?

[RealHousewivesOfTaunton]

14yo DS is going into year 10 and is studying rainforests as part of his upcoming Geography GCSE. I'd really like to take him on a trip to Borneo next summer so he can see the effects of deforestation, palm plantations etc.

However, I don't want to take 11yo DD. 1) It's expensive and a study tour more than a holiday. 2) It would be nice to do something with just DS before he heads off into independence.

We're going on a nice family holiday next year so she won't be going without. I'll also explain to her that this is for DS's GCSEs and I will do an equivalent trip with her when she's the same age. By the time she gets to that stage, DS will hopefully be at university and so wouldn't be coming on a study trip with his little sister.

Is this a reasonable plan or am I being unfair?

Yep that's fine. Great idea, go gor it.

My son is doing GCSE Geography starting year 10 and the furthest he is going is Bristol City Centre 🤣 Personally Burneo is a bit OTT when he could watch videos etc

I think it's a great idea to do a special trip with just one child at this age, provided the other child gets a similar one. It's a separate issue of whether Borneo is the right place.

FWIW we had a fantastic family trip to Borneo when our kids were 14 and 16.

If its what you want to do and your ds is definately going to benifit from it then do it. Its your money so spend it doing what makes you happy.
FWIW, my older dsis (3.5 years) got to spend the whole 6 weeks holiday in america with grandparents that lived out there (on a lake with lots of watersports, flew out on her own - paid supervised) the summer after her GCSE's. I was fine with this because at the time i understood i could go when it was my turn. I had been several times on family holidays. Unfortunately due to health reasons my grandparents returned to the UK before it was my turn. I never held this against anyone. Im sure i probably had something else in another way that was more benifical to me.

Do it!

We take each of our kids on a special trip when they are late teens. They get to pick which parent goes with them. The trip isn't 'educational'. Everyone else in the family stays home. They all know their time will come.

If you can why would you not? I love when I can take one child out for something special for them. Creates a memory and a bond. As long as it’s even and fair my two are happy and enjoy the 1:1 time. For your trip the only downside would be my youngest would spend the years waiting planning her own fantastic the trip in great detail!

Its fine as long as you absolutely make sure younger DC gets an equivalent trip when the time comes. If anything prevents that then you could be in trouble.

Are you sure you don’t just want to go to Borneo yourself with your favourite child? ‘Study trip’ to Borneo? 😂 Either take the entire family or get him to watch a YouTube video. You don’t need an extravagant study trip just to get a GCSE!

Are you also taking them to Germany or Poland when they study ww1 n2 in history

If posh school round the corner where sticking kids heads in the fire for education purposes I guess you. Would follow suit there to lol

Best mn post ever such typical mn

Doesn’t seem like a particularly extravagant trip for OP. Why watch a video when you can simply go to Borneo?

No need to take the entire family every time you go abroad if going abroad isn’t an unusual or special occurrence.

You want to take your son on holiday, go wherever you want. He has no actual deep and abiding enthusiasm for geography, but you're able to justify Borneo on the basis of a GCSE he's not that bothered by. Take him away if that's what you want, call it an educational trip if that's what you want, but it will have no baring on his GVSE is he's not that bothered by studying

Yes a typical look how much money I've got post.

I vote you take him!

I have 3 DD's all of whom I take away separately as a mummy daughter treat. Funnily enough it's what all 3 of them have requested for Christmas this year. DH also takes them away. It's a nice breather away from the madness and a real bonding experience

My eldest is desperate to go to Japan to experience the culture etc. It would be a ridiculously expensive holiday for all 5 of us, but for the 2 of us we can make it work.

We go on family weekends/holidays throughout the year. Never once has any of them grumbled about missing out on another's trip.

Wonders how eco friendly planes are

Yes take your son but don’t pretend it’s educational, I mean he could see rainforests in Hawaii but he has no interest in going there so he’s not that into rainforests and as pp have said it’s insane to fly all that way for a holiday to see how bad for the environment flying all that way is.

He is also unlikely to be leaving home at the end of his GCSEs either so that doesn’t really make sense.

You can clearly afford it so why not say you want to go on a nice holiday with him?

I know you say you don’t have a favourite child and I’m sure you probably don’t. But I can’t see your DD perceiving it like that… out of my siblings, my sister saw herself as the least favourite. Objectively as an adult I don’t think she was actually treated any differently, but I can see her point when I think about how she must have felt as a child. This perception of herself as the least favourite child has definitely had a profound impact on her and her life. I would go as far as to say it impacts every aspect of her relationships with other people. If you truly are going to take your DD on an equivalent trip, then that’s fine but be prepared for her to be very upset until you follow through.

Study trip 😆

Yeah, everybody just spends £1000s trotting off to bloody Borneo for our darlings study!!
How the other half live eh!!

Yes, that is how some live. She can afford it, so why not?

Yes I've taken the DC to less exotic locations relevant to their topics at school. A boat trip round the Olympic park in Stratford, anyone?

The "posh school" going to Borneo is a standard comp in the middle of one of the poorest estates in the country. I think it's brilliant that they're taking those kids, who are doing all sorts of fundraising efforts to pay for it, but they're by no means posh.

What about your DH, is there a reason he doesn't get an equivalent budget to take each child away?

He takes them out together and individually all the time. He's more than welcome to take one or other off on hols!

This. Absolutely bonkers.

And it's clearly just a thinly veiled excuse to favour one child.

You don't need to take your son to Borneo to prepare for his geography GCSE.

If you want to go, own it and say it's because you WANT to go.

Agreed. It's mind-blowing virtue signalling... "ooh look this is why it's bad to buy palm oil.." while conveniently ignoring the environmental impact of flying half way round the world whenever they fancy it

Cognitive dissonance at it's best.