Aibu to feel very sorry for Ben & Marina Fogle who were wrongly reported to social services by a neighbour

[Autumnalove]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13787467/Marina-Fogle-reveals-husband-Ben-wrongly-reported-social-services-shouting-children-amid-row-Kirstie-Allsopp-sons-interrailing-trip.html

I really like the Fogles, so sorry they had to endure this stress.

I had to take my toddler to A&E with a head injury. They asked lots of questions clearly designed to assess how plausible my explanation was, which I found reassuring.

If mother was unable to give satisfactory answers, what should the doctor have done?

Who

You are being unreasonable for reading that rag, let alone shoving links to it on here.

Well of course, why on earth would they prebook an appointment to visit a family where there are suspicions of abuse? Can’t you see that asking them to come back another time would look like you had something to hide?

Some middle class people seem to think that child safeguarding doesn’t apply to them. Child abuse happens regardless of class and all reports should be followed up by SS.

They asked how the child got a certain bruise... she said she didn't know. It was a 9yo child who played Rugby and football, went to school etc... it was an entirely accurate answer! It wasn't the injury they were there for.

But that's the point isn't it? Innocent parents will be investigated as well as guilty ones... to find the guilty ones.

Exactly, a complete waste of Social services time & taxpayers money.

There are limitations on DSARs and significant exceptions for very good reasons for health, education and social care.

My friend has just been investigated by SS after accusations of leaving her children to cry.

The truth is that although her care for them falls far short of needing SS to intervene, she speaks to them in narky tones, and she juggles their needs around her work. I can well see how a snapshot of her care wouldn't present her in a good light, and that a report wouldn't necessarily be malicious.

I don't think SS visited the home because of one report of shouting.

But that isn’t for you to judge. How could SS possibly know what is malicious and what is genuine if they don’t investigate? It’s not SS’ fault that someone has made a malicious report, the blame lies with the reporter.

Shouting is cause for a SS complaint? Whoa. I try not to shout, of course, and most times I manage it. But I'm human, and I have a teenager...

Good for ss checking out a potential case.

incidentally, I’ve met Ben Fogle and he was an up himself prick.

I absolutely do not care.

No, I don't feel sorry for them. I take the view that I'd rather be wrongly reported than for someone to suspect my DC needed help and ignore it. SS are very stretched and the bar for action is very high. A loving parent who treats their children well has nothing more to fear than a chat and a visit where they can clarify the situation and demonstrate their DC are fine. If that in many cases. That's hardly onerous or traumatic for people like the Fogles and there does need to be a strong safeguarding culture.

The thing is that Marina and Kirstie are outraged by the intrusion into their middle class parenting, but what do they think social workers are for? No one has ever phoned a sw to say I’m awful, I shout at my kids until they cry, please investigate.

And it also reminds me of a quote I read here on Mumsnet, something about an unemployed dad’s beer on the front doorstep at 4 in the afternoon is not seen in the same way as a yummy mummy’s cheeky Prosecco on the patio after the school run.

They would have been far better to write about how difficult it is to get the balance right, and how it is a shame sw get so much criticism when all they are doing is trying to protect children. But no. All they seem to have written about is me me me. Poor me. I’m a middle class mummy. How dare I be lumped in with all the poor people.

You can see where this trend is going, SS are going to be slightly more reluctant to have any interactions at all with celebrities and z-listers.

Hell, they treated Katie Price with kid gloves... imagine if she was a mother on a council estate.

In 2002, it was triggered after just one incident.

It depends what you are shouting.

Don't you know people with money cant possibly abuse their children??

Assuming the parents are telling the truth....

why did you bother posting?
to show how morally superior you are?

We were reported to social services many years ago when we rushed our newborn baby to hospital in the middle of the night. We said dh needed to get back home to be with our 2 year old and it seems the hospital assumed we'd left the toddler on their own (our Nanny was actually in the house).

I didn't mind being reported and felt comforted that children had hospital staff looking out for them.

I think Kate Moss had some involvement with her daughter when she was a toddler didn’t she? I’m not sure how much though.