To ask for your favourite sayings/phrases?

[SailAwaySandra]

Mine are

I’d rather be late in this life than early in the next

And

If you want something done properly, do it yourself (bloody annoying but always true)

S/he's as mad as a box of frogs.

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Meh!

Don't make me lose my bananas (this is a carry-over from when my children were little, when I substituted it for "lose my shit")!!

Love this.

Also love "I'd rather slam my left tit in the car door." I laughed for ages when I heard that.

Fuck you very much!

An insult that is often missed if you say it quick enough. 😁

Fuck you for thinking that.

😂

We say this,but I am all to aware that we are lying. I wish we can get to this.

I do this 😃😂

Every choice involves loss - very guilty of over using this but SO true

Good manners cost nothing.

Behold the field in which I grow my fucks; cast thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren (AKA I don't give a fuck) there's a brilliant Baueaux tapestry type meme for this which I keep promising myself that I'll print for my desk at work.

She didn’t lick that from a stone (meaning: so someone found something out somehow!)

"Does anyone have a car seat I can borrow urgently because apparently I was born yesterday"

Less is more..

Fake it to make it..

My two favourites

Here it is

‘Up and down like a bride’s nightie’ is very descriptive for times when you just can’t get 5 mins to sit down.
My granny also used ‘I felt like a whore at a funeral’ to describe feeling out of place.

Daft as a brush.

Went down like a cup of cold sick.

Also euphemisms for death such as:

Joined the choir invisible.
Pushing up daisies.

I like the sort of variation on that:

"I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night!"

Better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and prove them correct
( I have not always adhered to this!)

Get ye tae fuck. But only if spoken by a Scottish person. It can be both an endearmentcandca threat - brilliant

Especially useful for the arrogant people who use 'urgent' for every single email that they send:

"If everything is top priority, then nothing is".

Also applicable when airlines gleefully take an extra fee for 'priority boarding' from every single passenger.

'I'm not as green as I'm cabbage looking' (i.e. not daft 😆)

My 2 favourites

No one is promised tomorrow

See the happy moron
He doesn't give a damn
I wish I was a moron
My God! Perhaps I am🙃

Fishier than Rick Stein’s bin (for something dodgy; think I made that one up myself)
Up and down like a frog in a lift

He’s standing there like one o’clock half struck!

I love this!

Consequences of your actions - some really don’t get it.

My mum used to say "it's better to be late Miss Mysurname than THE late Miss Mysurname" If I drove over 20 mph.