to not want to be made to feel bad about baby's weight

[pinata]

ok, so went to get DD weighed today and she is on 98th centile - her weight has shot up again after levelling off for a while

i asked them to measure her height as she is also tall and it would put weight into perspective, but the stupid HV refused

she then went on to say i should be worried about heart trouble in DD if she stays big (she is 18 weeks) and that i have to come back in 2 weeks because this all clearly needs keeping an eye on

i tried to explain that DH's family is very tall (i'm talking women over 6ft) but she only cared about DD's weight

so now i'm sitting here feeling rubbish wondering what the hell i'm supposed to do. she doesn't feed when she's not hungry and doesn't even finish every bottle. am i being unreasonable not to want to deprive her of food when she's hungry? and not to want to be made to feel like i'm setting her up for a heart attack or something?

stop taking her my dds were at the top of the chart because they were tall too, I even had to point out to the consultant that dd3 was not overweight if her height and weight were both on the 98th centile!!!!

Well I've just weighed ds 1 15.3kgs and measured his height 101 1/2cms and on the who chart he's just over the 15th Percentile and on the red book (HV book) he's on the 25th percentile so something doesn't corrolate (sp?)

He started on the 75th percentile...

i've decided it's all a load of nonsense to make us all feel bad - too fat, too skinny, too small, too tall. sounds like none of us are managing to have babies that are the "right" size, eh?

As I pointed out when my daughter was falling below the 9th centile and the HV was trying to make me feel bad, SOMEONE has to be in those bits of the chart. It's how they work FFS! My daughter was low on the charts because she has two short skinny parents and yours is at the top because your husband's family is tall. It's not rocket science! Tell them you're perfectly happy with her weight and to eff off.

Hey my son is now 9 months and has always been on the 95-99th percentile. He is tall as well, and I often had to mention that to people when they commented on his weight. They used to refuse to measure his height as well. He is wearing 12-18 month clothes already!

My friend has a baby the same age on the 9th percentile. They look like little and large!!! I don't worry about these things, just say he will play rugby soon...

As a GP I think I'm qualified to say....

...that your HV is talking out of her arse!

Message withdrawn

my HV told me that they don't do height with babies really these days as it's difficult to be accurate with it.

i haven't taken ds to the clinic for this reason(well the opposite one really) I weighed him at home and I know he'd be roughly on the 9th centile now as he's a skinny thing, he's not too tall either. He started off (a year ago) on the 50th centiles and I just know that if I take him to be weighed they will go on about it, so i just don't go I know he's happy, healthy and doing all he should be. he eats and drinks well and that's all that matters. He's now walking and has been moving(rolling over) since he was 16 weeks so i think that must have something to do with it. He must burn off his food.

It;s weird for me though as dd was much like the op's always on the 98th centile for weight, but also for height. My hv wasn't worried in the slightest as she said, dd is in proportion. If your baby was tiny height wise and really heavy then there would be an issue.

I am shocked at some peoples hv's.

IMO as a mother or father you must trust your instincts. the charts are just guides, they don't replace common sense, or at least they shouldn't

good point about the height chart

it's strange because DD's length was not even measured at birth - how come they don't do that anymore?

it seems so obvious - no-one would expect a tall adult to weigh the same as a short adult

in fact, whenever i've looked up my own weight on any charts (just to depress myself a little post-baby), it's always related to height.

stupid HVs - and that i had to queue nearly 2 hours for her rubbish comments makes me even more annoyed

I had this too, my DS was breastfed and at 8 weeks old he was 19lbs. His weight was off the chart. A evil HV said that he would not walk till he was at least 16mths as he was 'to fat' and his legs would not support him. Well anyway he ended up being about 2 stone at 11 months and he was walking at 11 months. He did not put on anymore weight for nearly two years and just grew taller and taller. Now he is a slim and tall.

They talk crap.

FFS what and idiot
My DD2 is 15 weeks and 17lb6oz she was born on 75th % and is now happily chugging along on 98th % - she is a gorg lovely chubby baby - my god the centiles are just that they are NOT an aim for the 50th % how boring would that be - they are a NORMAL range ....what does she want you do do put her on a diet MORON ...grrrrrr makes me sooooo angry (oh and as medic as well she is talking CRAP)....you are doing brilliantly

In my experience it's the mums with the 'normal' sized babies that get them weighed religiously every week. They get off on the reassurance that everything is just tickety boo.
So it's possible then that the HV's are much more used to seeing these babies and then get all jobsworth when they see a baby remotely 9th or 98th centile.

Janitor's right, HVs panicking about babies being on the 9th/98th or any other centile are demonstrating that they don't understand basic maths. Which is a pretty basic requirement of the job...

The growth charts show the normal distribution of weight across the population. Some babies will be on the 50th, some on the 99th and some on the 2nd. This is normal.

Any HV who doesn't understand that very simple point really shouldn't be in charge of anything more complicated than a pot plant.

lol@edam

Pinta that is a load of old rubbish, those charts are so old and out of date it is unreal that they still use them. I am sure your DD is just lovely and if she is going to be tall and has done lots of growing then she needs her nutritional needs met. Some HVs just seem to read it out of books, such a 70s approach to childcare. As a new Mum you have enough to worry about without a silly women saying things like that. It makes my blood boil.

I am sure there are some excellent HVs out there however the ones I came across where hideous and made me feel like rubbish. One HV told me at 9 months to stop feeding my baby milk as she needed to move onto more solids - STOP MILK?? At 9 Months?? As it turned out DD has Reflux and a few food intollerences and she is now under a specialist which is why she would not eat properly. She actually told me to send DD to bed hungry so she would eat breakfast the next day. It was all I could do not to strangle to stupid women.

I sat and cried whilst she told me all this and said I should just get on with it, like I was going to stop milk for a child that ate little else. I told my doc and he said if she ever gave advice like that again he would report her.

ha ha - quite true, edam. it's hardly particle physics, is it? tall = weighs more. duh!

mellieandmin - what risiculous advice they gave you. it's unbelievable. this stupid HV in fact told me to start giving her water instead of milk to increase the time between feeds and to try giving her a cuddle instead of feeding her. i swear these people don't have children - water makes zero difference and cuddling her when she's hungry, well, i might as well pick up a sack of hot coals and hope i can cool it down by cuddling it. tsssssk

i actually went to the doctor today to get DD seen for a cough and she said, unprompted, how she's a good size. when i told her about HV's comments yesterday she told me to ignore her as DD is completely in proportion. it made me so happy! why can't HV's do the same simple equation in their heads that she did without going near any scales? baby = tall and in proportion, therefore going to be heavier

Exactly, and not only that, but as other people have already mentioned the centile charts show the weight range for healthy babies!

My dd was bf and was 95th centile for the first few months - but she is probably around average height. No hv ever suggested this was a problem.

She settled down to average height and average weight after about a year. I only got her weighed twice - and always avoided the hvs

Is your baby bottlefed? I ask because a friend of mine got grief because her ff baby was on the top centile whereas another friend at the same centre whose bf baby was off the charts was told not to worry. I think it has something to do with the links between ff and possible obesity and they're supposed to keep an eye on it. Both babies are tall and slim now, 2+ years on, so there really was nothing to worry about.

I do sympathise though, mine was off the bottom of the charts and (ironically) it was frequently suggested that I top up with ff.

LOL (ironically) pinata, cuddle your baby instead of feeding? Give me a break, would you starve yourself if you were hungry? No, for goodness sakes, most normal human beings would not even cuddle/starve an animal who was hungry let along a baby! The women is stark raving made, who, if she does have kids must have the worst bond with them ever if she starved them to keep to a time clock!

Good news about the Doc's comments, they are the ones that matter. Us Mum's do know best, its intuition, we forged that link with them the second they were born. Good luck, I hope DD continues to grow into a beautiful little girl.

Brangelina - she is ff, but she has the right amount for her age, usually less. she is meant to have 35oz per day, and usually has around 30oz

as i said to the HV, if she isn't hungry, she doesn't eat. it's not like i actually could overfeed her, even if i tried. she finishes some feeds, some she leaves 2oz, 3oz, sometimes even 4oz. she knows when she's full

she was bf for a while when she was born and her weight went up even then, when other babies typically lose weight. i doubt she'd be any skinnier however she was fed

the cuddling comment was quite funny, with hindsight - as if i do nothing but feed her every time she so much as squeaks. mind you, when i went in, she also asked me if DD had a temper on her as she was crying - yes, that's it. not the 2 hour wait we've just had, partially outside in the cold, because the HVs rocked up 20 minutes late for baby clinic

the whole thing just makes me mad. but at least now i have plenty of ammunition thanks to all of you to fight DD's corner, or at least to allow me to ignore her ignorant nonsense

a temper on her
at 18 weeks

I'd just stop going to clinic if I were you. Your dd is obviously thriving and you'd know if there was anything wrong and you could take her to gp. My ds2 was an enormous bf baby. Over the 98th line for height and weight. He is now a 6ft 4" 16 year old of perfectly average build and very healthy. Your hv sounds odd to me but my friend is one and she has often said to me that she struggles with some mums who shove a bottle in baby's mouth the moment they even make a squeak. This has led to some very over weight babies. This is clearly not the case with your dd who, like my ds, is just tall and therefore bound to weigh more!!!You can tell the difference between an overweight baby and one who is just big imo