Don’t want to again pay import duty for gift from friend?

[sah89]

One of my oldest friends is from abroad (and lives there now), but was in the UK as a kid/teen when we met.
When I got married she sent us a present for which I paid over £100 tax/duty because she made a mistake with converting currencies and filled out the form like it was a goods purchase. Initially the post office card arrived here when dh and I were on our honeymoon and missed the payment date, so it got sent back to my friend. I apologised for missing the package, said there was a fee to pay (didn’t say how much) and asked her gently to check if she needs to correct the form because the gift she mentioned didn’t warrant such a tax. She sent it again without correcting, I gave in and paid the fee (didn’t say anything). Just to add, it seems usual for her to convert stuff the other way or add several more zeros just through our conversations when she mentions rent/salaries/prices.

Fast forward a few years, dh and I recently had a baby, and my friend wanted to send us a baby gift. In these couple years she also got married, had a baby and got a divorce. As a friend group we supported her as much as we can, including ordering her baby stuff off local to her places. She’s a single income household now with no child support from ex and a massive gender gap in salaries.
When she offered to send something I felt bad for her spending money (since she’s been highlighting how expensive everything is), I said maybe when we go out to visit her on holiday we could do something together with the kiddies instead. And at the back of my mind I didn’t want to do this potential back and forth with the post office again, quite honestly..
also we just moved house as I fell pregnant so for dh and I there have been a lot of expenses with the mortgage/deposit/furniture/baby etc (yes, our choice but still it just feels exhausting)

anyway, today I got a card from the post office referencing my friend’s country. I asked her if she sent something and she said a couple of toys and baby blanket. Again, the fee is like £70…… I don’t know if it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back but I feel so divided on this… I appreciate her gesture and sympathise with her general situation… I’m also fed up literally paying for her maths errors… I’m not going to ask her to foot the bill.. what would you do?

Can you just not collect it?

I’d let it return to her and just say the cost was too much , in future suggest she use something like Amazon to send gifts

yeah it will get returned to her to resend, like last time… only now she knows I’m not on holiday. With the wedding present she had quite a breakdown of the package journey so knows I didn’t pay customs duty in time on it when it got sent back. I thought the package would just get held/destroyed eventually if I didn’t collect it but I doubt it

Ok I just need to grow some balls essentially :D thanks!

I’ve just received a birthday present from family abroad and had to pay £48!! It sours the present somewhat and if I’d known what the gift was I wouldn’t have paid. The family member will be mortified so I paid but lesson learnt.

awh I’m sorry to hear you’ve experienced similar! Feels a bit like rejecting their gesture but at the same time paying for your own present, maybe even more than it’s worth

Yep .. you have a new baby … just pay thank you but they are charging me £70 import tax .. you need to be clear .. otherwise it will keep happening .

This.

I've done this and sent a Christmas hamper to Europe. The recipient was very apologetic but said she had refused delivery as they wanted 70 euros. The hamper only cost 60 quid so agreed with her expecting never to see it again. I received the parcel back!

"Hello friend, afraid I cannot afford to pay £70 import duty. Times are tight what with the new baby and all. <insert obligatory sadface>. What a pity you forgot to tick the right box on the form. Ah well, never mind. I appreciate the thought."

@sah89 can you not feign ignorance and deny all knowledge of the post office card? So then as far as she knows, it's just lost in transit somewhere, so may put her off doing the same again.

Have you checked that the amounts being charged are right (am sure they are but obviously rules change depending on where it is being sent from)

Afraid I would have to be honest and say you really appreciate the thought but that the parcel will be returned as the import tax is too high (more than the gifts themselves?) and also be clear that you do not want her to send anything else from her country. If she wants to send something to you she needs to order from a uk site and send it you that way

It's £70! Why are you being such a door mat OP? Let it return to her and say 'sorry the tax would have been £70!!!! So I let it return to you' because obviously no normal person would expect you to pay that for a small baby gift, so don't pretend it's normal OP. So yes essentially grow some balls 😁

I had this before but from USA
I ignored the fees and let it get sent back then said… “oh I didn’t get any notification from dhl”
then said my friend sent to send it like X and literally wrote what she needed to put on the form

It's standard procedure that the goods get returned to the sender if the import duty is not paid.

I think you need to be really upfront with her going forward at how much you are being charged for the import duty and agree that this does not work for either of you.

Doubtful as she already messaged the sender about the parcel

I see, I missed that, my fault, thank you.

In that case, just going to have to be honest and say you can't afford the import fees.

“Hi friend, hope you’re ok! I won’t be collecting the parcel you sent as there is a £70 import tax fee for me to pay. I’m sure it’ll make its way back to you eventually!”

Just tell her you weren't able to collect it because the tax was too much. Tell her you'll collect it when you visit her.

with the wedding present when we got back home and I saw how much it was lmao I thought to just leave it, having missed the date already… but a couple days later she sent a detailed screenshot of the journey there and back, so things are efficient!
even like card delivered, not paid, shipped back from uk etc whole transit.
and yes I also messaged her

Yeah things make sense with the post office here, it’s like £39 plus tax on whatever amount she put

A good friend of mine sent my little one a toy and dolls blanket when she was born . I was horrified to receive a customs bill for over £100! Fortunately I suspected that my friend hadn’t actually spent that much on gifts - and double checked with her. Turns out She put down the value of the toy as the wool+her mum’s time - which was fair enough in one regards but also made for a huge amount declared on the form! Thankfully I was able to refuse it, it got sent back to her and we split the cost of postage with a far more modest customs declaration.

Yes the sender has a detailed tracking account of where the parcel is in the system and awaiting duty/import duty to be paid etc.

The full tracking shows it all so you really just have to be upfront going forward that this does not work for you.

You need to not collect this gift item because if you do she will keep sending and it will cost you money Tell her you can't pay the £70 and will get it when you see her next time. Otherwise it never ends.

One of my relatives in the States send me a picture that her DD had drawn for me. She put it in a (very cheap plastic) frame and posted it to me. I had to pay £46 for it!