Don’t want to again pay import duty for gift from friend?

[sah89]

One of my oldest friends is from abroad (and lives there now), but was in the UK as a kid/teen when we met.
When I got married she sent us a present for which I paid over £100 tax/duty because she made a mistake with converting currencies and filled out the form like it was a goods purchase. Initially the post office card arrived here when dh and I were on our honeymoon and missed the payment date, so it got sent back to my friend. I apologised for missing the package, said there was a fee to pay (didn’t say how much) and asked her gently to check if she needs to correct the form because the gift she mentioned didn’t warrant such a tax. She sent it again without correcting, I gave in and paid the fee (didn’t say anything). Just to add, it seems usual for her to convert stuff the other way or add several more zeros just through our conversations when she mentions rent/salaries/prices.

Fast forward a few years, dh and I recently had a baby, and my friend wanted to send us a baby gift. In these couple years she also got married, had a baby and got a divorce. As a friend group we supported her as much as we can, including ordering her baby stuff off local to her places. She’s a single income household now with no child support from ex and a massive gender gap in salaries.
When she offered to send something I felt bad for her spending money (since she’s been highlighting how expensive everything is), I said maybe when we go out to visit her on holiday we could do something together with the kiddies instead. And at the back of my mind I didn’t want to do this potential back and forth with the post office again, quite honestly..
also we just moved house as I fell pregnant so for dh and I there have been a lot of expenses with the mortgage/deposit/furniture/baby etc (yes, our choice but still it just feels exhausting)

anyway, today I got a card from the post office referencing my friend’s country. I asked her if she sent something and she said a couple of toys and baby blanket. Again, the fee is like £70…… I don’t know if it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back but I feel so divided on this… I appreciate her gesture and sympathise with her general situation… I’m also fed up literally paying for her maths errors… I’m not going to ask her to foot the bill.. what would you do?

I really used to enjoy choosing presents for my nieces in France, my brother finally confessed to me that since Brexit he's been charged big import taxes. I can't seem to work it out so I’m going to have to stop and use Amazon or transfer cash. Which I’m quite sad about as I loved being the aunty who sends lovely presents.

This was always going to be more likely after Brexit. You need to check out both import duty and VAT, see here https://www.gov.uk/goods-sent-from-abroad/tax-and-duty

I have family in the USA. They used to send gifts for my DC but I asked them to stop for this reason. The taxes I had to pay every time (not to mention the hassle of going to the Post Office collection centre and associated parking costs) were often considerably more than the cost of the gift. They tried a couple of times after that but I just didn't go and collect the parcels and told them why I hadn't.

Having a chat with a relative, we realised that her DD had outgrown a character that my dd was into. My dd's birthday was coming up so relative said she'd send some of her dd's old toys over as a gift. Great!
Got a letter from the postal company saying I had to pay the import tax to receive it. Relative had put down the total she'd paid for the toys brand new, not the second hand value which would have been less than €20. So annoying

This is standard after Brexit. I live in Spain and we pay to receive stuff as well. Best thing is to Moonpig or Amazon
stuff and avoid all the fees.

Just message her and say you can't afford to pay the £70 customs charge.

Please do tell her what’s happening OP. About 3 years ago I posted presents after moving to a new Country and I was super careful to fill in the duty forms for zero cost UK end. One of the presents was attributed with a £150 tax to be paid (this was the value of the item) - the recipient messaged me and very pointedly said what shall I do. As it was a birthday present I reluctantly paid and then investigated. Turns out this suddenly happened to lots of my fellow expats too and we were all advised it was due to unscrupulous carriers UK side adding spurious fees for supposed tax mistakes. Apparently it’s now a huge money making thing in the UK. I now buy all gifts online within the UK or physically take with me.

Don’t collect the item and don’t pay the £70. Let it get sent back to her. If she re-sends and does it again - rinse and repeat.

You need to tell her that you cannot afford to pay high customs charges. So if she sends things through and hasn’t completed the form correctly and it results in you being on the receiving end of a customs charge, then you won’t be paying it and it will be sent back to her. Because you simply cannot afford it. It’s not really a gift if you’re the one paying for it!

One of my best friends sent me a birthday card last year (we’re both in the UK, she’s 5 minutes down the road). She’d used an out of date stamp, so it wasn’t valid. So instead of receiving said birthday card, I received a card from Royal Mail advising I’d have to pay £1.20 to collect the item. I never bothered. I’m not paying for my own birthday card 😂

Basically paying for your own present- be honest with her, tell her it’s very kind but because things are going up so much, best not to send presents anymore

Please be honest.
Just be honest and tell her that it's £70 and it's not something you can afford to pay.
I'm sure she'd be horrified knowing you've paid £100 in the past and it's £70 now again. She can correct this unless she is told about it properly and openly.

Pain in the backside, had two of these this year - paid online & opted for next day post, only for it to arrive four days late for my birthday

Why didn't you say before and send back the wedding present? It's very easy "Hi, I got a parcel note saying import charges on your parcel will be £70, so I'm letting it be returned back to you, hopefully you can regift it. Thanks for thinking of us anyway."

You don't need to say anything about not having £70 etc, it's bloody obvious why you aren't spending £70 to get a random teddy or whatever.