This thread has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of its author.

[BiscuityBoyle]

AIBU to think this is happening too often?

It used to be that a thread stayed up unless people were calling each other cunts, now a thread gets pulled because the op doesn’t like the answers they are getting.

Which generation is that then, and how do you know?

The stance on deleting threads has definitely changed since I first joined.

The demographics of site users has also changed in that time. Posters are significantly less resilient and less able to cope with robust discussion, hence the increase in deletions simply because an op doesn’t like the responses they’re getting.

Care to expand on "It is mostly people of a certain generation so ...") ??

I've had two threads deleted because asked MNHQ to delete, and was (and still am grateful that they did.)

One, I'd posted asking about a baby scan and wondering whether to find out the sex as it was COVID and I would be without DH. It was light-hearted, but I got a bit of flack for it. When I went for the scan I found out we were going to lose our baby because they were very ill. I couldn't deal mentally or emotionally with the thread I'd made before, which now seemed utterly ridiculous, musing about pink or blue babygrows and if I'd feel disappointed with one sex or the other when now I was planning my baby's funeral.

Another was after we lost another baby and I was desperately seeking answers. It was hijacked by a side point I'd made about vitamins and kept getting reignited every few months because of the keyword being searched. This was despite me having hidden it. I asked for it to be removed.

Was that the one where she was in France with bf and his parents? I've been looking for that.

I know MNHQ keep saying don't invest emotionally in a thread but sometimes it's very difficult not to. I've not been around many years but even I've noticed an uptick in thread deletions.

That sounds fair, and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Totally different from 'i don't like the response ', yours would be genuinely upsetting. I hope you are OK now.

Yes that one!
Now it says 'this thread has been deleted - we're taking a look behind the scenes'. Wtf.

I also think that an OP should be able to delete their thread for whatever reason. I’d like to think that this forum is about getting help and advice, rather than entertaining strangers with someone’s problems. If the advice is no longer useful for the OP, it makes sense for a thread to go. It’s someone’s life and not a reality TV show.

I think rather than immediate deletion, MNHQ should turn off commenting (with a message saying they have done so), so it can still be read, and maybe move it to 30 days so that it will self delete after a time. Of course there should be some exceptions such as the poster above who mentions her thread about the baby scan and subsequent loss of the baby. Sorry that happened to you ClemFandango.

It is frustrating. I too have tried to find the one from France with the boyfriend and parents. I did see the deletion message for the thread where the OP wanted a skivvy MIL who was expected to clean and cook rather than visit the new born. Ridiculous. I always thought deletions were rare on MN. Old hat now.

I agree. And the same with troll threads. Some of them can be quite fun or have genuinely good advice that might be helpful to someone else. If they were locked and then moved to 30 days people could still read them.

The removal of comments for 'breaking guidelines' is also applied inconsistently; some posts have been vile, but remain, while other seemingly innocuous ones are whisked away.
And on that note @MNHQ , it would be useful to be informed that ones post has been deleted - that might help clarify the variation in decisions

I've been on this site many years and found alot of it helpful but at one point I was going through a tough time and made a thread about something I was thinking about (nothing particular seriously it was more just I'm considering this as a passing thought) and I was surprised about the vile responses I had from some posters calling me an unfit mother, saying they felt sorry for my children, that they had serious concerns for my childrens quality of life, suggestions of social services (just because I asked opinions on a THOUGHT I'd had). It really upset me as my children are happy healthy well looked after and loved. It was the only time in years I'd asked for my post to be deleted and was told no so really don't understand how they've started deleting threads left right and centre

And that generation is??

I think MNHQ is quite robust on this to be fair. The only time I have ever requested a thread be pulled was when people were piling on to berate me for not reacting properly to the death of a friend. It was really nasty and extremely upsetting and it took several hours before they agreed to take it down.

So sorry for your loss @HiStevenItsClemFandango 💐

I've been on the site quite a while too and also noticed the increase in thread deletions. I've also noticed an increase in post deletions where the poster disagrees with the OP. Not breaking any talk guidelines as far as I could see.

About 6 months ago, I had all my posts on a thread removed for breaking talk guidelines. I was polite, helpful, sensible but disagreeing with the OP. That was all. I asked for clarity from MNHQ, but didn't get any.

An odd post of mine here and there has also been deleted for the same reason.

I've seen the same of other posters on other threads. Having read their replies before deletion, I truly didn't understand why they were being deleted.

I'm all for genuine reasons, but it seems that it all depends on who picks up the please delete message at MNHQ.

I was going to say that if you don't like the responses you are getting you can just mute the thread's notifications and forget that you ever posted it, but I had forgotten that the media can pick it up.

I think that is a very good point.

But I also think some poster's requests are a flounce from a dented ego rather than any deeper feelings.

Maybe MN can see who frequently retracts their posts and bar them if they keep doing it just because they disapprove of others’ opinions.

Although, personally I don’t care if those kind of threads are taken down. They very quickly get very boring - AIBU… Yes you are…. No I’m not.

On repeat.

They always remind me that you can’t argue with stupid.

I didn't see any other deletion message for that thread.
I assumed that there were some incosistencies about her lack of phone signal/internet to arrange transport to the airport, and the availability of internet whenever she posted on her thread?
I haven't read the whole thread though, so maybe there was an eplanation for this?

This doesn't always work. I'd muted and hidden the second thread I talk about above, but it doesn't always stop it appearing in your "I'm on" or "active threads".

Thank you to everyone for all your kind words.

I'm pissed off that I have to ask MNHQ and can't just delete my own thread myself.

I’ve wondered if they put that for fear of flack re deciding to pull threads themselves. I’ve been on some really goady questionable threads, with loads of posts reported and then you get the author has requested the thread be pulled. Seriously? Said author has suddenly realised that they’re goady and writing offensive posts having spent time crafting and sitting sit on the unpleasant thread wilfully upsetting and winding up other posters. 🤔

The quality of moderation has plummeted on Mumsnet and it has a really cowardly hands off tone these days.