Another driving one - my DP can drive but chooses not to

[Medievalwindow]

My DP was ‘pressured’ in his words, into doing his driving lessons and test. He is actually a good driver and he passed first time (unlike me who took 3 attempts).
When we first got together he would drive us around now and again, he would also share the motorway driving with me and when we had our son, I had a c—section so he had to drive us for at least 5 weeks.

Since lockdown (not sure if coincidence or not) he hasn’t wanted to drive at all and every time I bring it up he says he can’t do it.
So I am designated driver at all times.
I asked him what would happen if I couldn’t drive for some reason, due to ill health or whatever and he said we just wouldn’t drive then. He cycles everywhere and is adamant we’d be fine just getting public transport, however we live in a semi rural area of West Yorkshire and the transport system isn’t that great at all. For example it would be two buses to visit his parents/my in laws.
I feel that being able to take our son to visit places and go to clubs during school holidays and at weekends is one of the perks of being able to drive and having a car, but I’m exhausted being the one to drive all the bloody time 😭

I’ve suggested he goes to a therapist for possibly CBT about this issue, but he keeps saying he doesn’t have any time because of work. Despite the fact I’ve said they can sometimes accommodate evenings. It just feels like constant excuses.

AIBU?

I’ve never liked driving but I passed my test in my 20s and drive for 25 years - I increasingly lost confidence in recent years though and recently had a medical diagnosis which means I can’t drive for the time being at least. Tbh it feels like a bit of a relief not to have to.
I was also pleased to not have to drive during covid times as well.

It’s absolutely icky that he won’t share the load with you for your family. I’d really resent a partner who behaved like that.

This was my first thought too...

All electric cars are automatic because they don’t have a traditional engine. They’re fantastically simple. Just two peddles and no gears to worry about. They’re so smooth and responsive too, it’s the dream. All my anxiety about not having enough time to pull out of junctions or making the car jerk when changing gear has completely disappeared. I can just concentrate on the road.