Aibu to not want to move up north

[time2changeCharlieBrown]

My dh has been offered a great job opportunity a high payrise
the catch is we have to relocate up north near Leeds
so my main concerns is the weather
I hate winter, rain and snow and up there seems to get more?
also I joined a few online community groups recently to get a feel for it and learn about the areas and what’s around
all I have mainly seen is awful things about robbery’s and car theft and violent crimes! It’s really putting me off!
we have a son who is not too far off an age to go clubbing and for nights out and even though he is 6 foot 5 he’s very striking looking mixed race (Greek) and I worry about him being a target and our eldest daughter too also very striking ,but both quite naive as we currently live in a small village and don’t often go into big cities and they are at small schools.
my dh is from a different town up north not too far from Leeds still has friends there and says it’s fine and all city’s are the same and the kids will be fine as not in any gangs and unlikely to be. I am a worrier so Aibu to not want to move?

Well, you are not wrong about the weather. It genuinely is worse up here. However, I think you are worrying over nothing on the other points. There are some gorgeous villages near Leeds, and I say that as someone from Lancashire and we are not normally allowed to say nice things about Yorkshire.

Some of the villages east of Leeds and around Harrogate and York are lovely. Its a great place to live with access to some wonderful countryside. YABU.

I agree. I moved to Leeds from London many years ago. While the weather is slightly cooler Leeds often enjoys really good weather.

You could live on the outskirts or in one of the villages near Leeds. I now live in South Yorkshire, but much prefer Leeds to Sheffield, which is my nearest city. It has more going one, is more diverse, more vibrant, has an airport and better transport connections to other parts of the UK.

You need to visit the area before you decide you don't like it.

We live on a very small island, it’s unlikely that “near Leeds”, has a different micro-climate.

Also, no more crime than anywhere else, it’s just the crap things that people tend to highlight on local groups.

I have a close friend who is Greek and has happily lived in Leeds for 20 years with no issues.

Its the North of England, not a drug addled favela

I loved living in Leeds, some very lovely areas, lots to see and do, and a great city for young ones. Lots of life to live there.

Yorkshire's lovely, it does rain more often but the landscape is dramatic and beautiful. Leeds is a diverse city and people are friendlier up north than the south imo.

Thank you all
We are planning a visit for a long weekend before deciding, I am dreading it but hoping it will surprise me. I will try look into some of the surrounding areas also so not too near the centre

YABVU! Leeds is a brilliant place to live, whether you're young or old.

It's not really that different - weather wise - from down South. But more importantly, it's a city that has ALWAYS been multicultural. Whether that's from a racial or a religious POV.

Not wanting to move somewhere, for whatever reason, however silly, is a good enough reason not to move there. Your husband can't make you move if you don't want to.

But I do think your reasons sound rather silly.

If your son is nearly old enough to go clubbing then is he not thinking about leaving home soon anyway? Presumably he's not planning on staying in his childhood home in your safe little village for the rest of his life. So he probably wouldn't even live there for very long, and where he lives after he leaves home will not be within your control.

Personally I'd be more concerned about potentially relocating your family at an important time in your children's education if they have GCSEs or A-levels coming up.

Leeds is a big city surrounded by gorgeous countryside, including lots of lovely little villages. I'm sure you could find a village which is just as nice and safe as the one you currently live in, and probably afford a much nicer house if you are currently in an expensive part of the country.

In your position I'd be far less focused on Leeds itself (which, like any city, has nice areas and less nice areas) and more on whether moving there at this time in your lives is going to disrupt your children's education or isolate you from friends and family.

How old are your children exactly and what do they think about the idea?

Wow

Assuming this is a weekend evening wind up thread by someone really bored?

Leeds is a great city. Good shops, theatre, schools etc. Excellent public transport..
Lots of nice quiet places to live in commuting distances.
You may be pleasantly surprised.

Is is actually working in Leeds city centre? Many of the villages are really lovely.

As a Leeds (train) commuter from a village, I don’t worry about crime in the slightest. Do get a bit wet on occasion.

I think you need to have a look at some prospective houses in your budget/ towns/ villages before you make your judgement. Had he got anywhere in particular in mind - maybe some of us can lay your mind to rest?

My son moved to Leeds a few years ago and he loves it. Its a very vibrant city and very diverse. As far as I know he has never been in any skirmishes or come to any harm on a night out. I love to visit there and the shops are amazing! Community groups do tend to concentrate on crime and anti social behaviour, but that's the nature of those kind of groups.
Your kids will be exposed to city life at some point, Uni maybe and Leeds is a huge university town with 100s of students. We are pretty friendly up here honest!

There are so many lovely places around Leeds, if you don't want to live in the city, then you are near to some of the most stunning countryside. I used to live in York and I still miss that area of the country. I know people who commuted from York to Leeds, although I feel that's a bit far. My first thought on reading your post was 'you lucky thing' but I appreciate that is not how you are feeling at the moment.

There's literally no point in visiting if you're not prepared to go with an open mind

I can't say I noticed it being significantly wetter when we moved to Leeds, but having grown up in London, the lack of horrible muggy heat in the summer was wonderful! Not quite so hot, but fresher, and summer isn't any shorter.

YABVU. Why do people assume 'it's grim oop North?!' The weather is often no worse than 'dahn south!' Only difference is that the South will often be 3-5 degrees C warmer. But it will still be decent in the north of England!

I can understand your concerns but honestly if you look in the FB groups for any city you'd find stuff about burglaries and other crimes.

I moved to Leeds from another Northern City. I live in a small town now miles from the city centre, surrounded by countryside the downside of moving further away from city centres is they tend to be less 'diverse' in their make-up

As everyone is saying, all cities have good and not so good areas. But presumably you don’t have to live in the city itself, check out the train/bus links to his new work place and I’ll bet you’ll find some gorgeous villages where you’ll get an absolute peach of a property for much less than you’d need down south.

When you come up for the weekend please try to come with an open mind and look for the positive - we’re generally friendly and helpful folk, there is culture by the bucketful and stunning countryside. It’s really not the grim, backwards place you’re imagining (and there’s even a Harvey Nicks!)

@time2changeCharlieBrown what specifically are you dreading?

I agree about not moving your DC at a crucial time during their education. You really can't move during GCSE and A level years.

You’ll be fine. Admittedly the wooden clogs did take some getting used to when I moved, and it was odd that every dog was a whippet. You just need to work out strategies to address the differences - for example, I tackled my concerns about the outside toilet by getting a chamber pot.

Why are you dreading it? It's just up north, not another planet!

I've lived everywhere from Oxford to Bolton to Devon and everywhere has its good and bad things
Most towns and cities are fairly similar underneath everything and Leeds is pretty diverse so I wouldn't be worried about that

York is nicer than Leeds imo. There’s also Harrogate and Knaresborough which are both decent sized towns and there’s plenty of nice villages. Yorkshire is vast, a long weekend isn’t really long enough to make a life changing decision. Get a road atlas out, decide on what’s an acceptable commute and between the road atlas, any mapping app of your choice and Google narrow the search area down a bit

If Leeds is up north, where are you now?

Leeds is down south for me.

You don't have to live in a city if you don't want to. I live in a town and wouldn't live in a city. But the cities are easily accessible.