How to deal with weird, obsessive neighbours

[funnybones23]

Moved into our house a few years ago to find that the family of one of ds school friends lived next door. Very pleasant to begin with, lots of chats over the fence and they brought us a welcome gift etc.

They seemed very interested in our lives in a bit of a nosey/competitive way. Always asking about ds grades, what we were doing to the house, once even asked about dh salary!

Out of the blue the woman just started ignoring me one day. I could literally be out in the yard and she would look away whereas previously she'd always make a point of chatting. The husband was still friendly but by this point I'd started finding them a bit odd and hard work so I distanced myself a bit.

Found out that the husband had called dh over for a 'private word' to discuss what's wrong with me. Long story short he insinuated that I'd been flirting with him (absolutely untrue!) and that he hopes he hasn't given me the wrong idea.

Thankfully dh and I had a good laugh about it as he thinks they are as bonkers as I do but I'm actually starting to get pissed off now. Had dh been a different man a comment like that could have caused a lot of trouble between us as well as being a total lie. I've only ever tried to be pleasant and neighbourly, nothing else.

Between that, the rude wife and the competitive nosiness I just don't want anything to do with them now. But obviously living next door and having kids at the same school means I'm going to bump into them a lot.

How would you deal with them?

I would just completely ignore them going forward. Anything else could be seen as flirting apparently. Always makes me laugh when women think other women are interested in their (usually) balding fat middle aged partners. Erm no honey, you keep him, I'm good😂.

Is there child in the same class or anything as yours?
Tbh i don't ever talk to my neighbours apart from to say hi when we pass each other. No animosity, we're all just busy.
I would just say a polite hello when you see each other but other than that, ignore then. You don't have to deal with them.

They’re just one of those couples, who can’t fathom how a woman can ever talk to a man without wanting to shag him. She’s got jealous and frozen you out, he’s just stirring.

I hate having neighbours and try to be civil / friendly while maintaining mental distance. We raised our fence and bought 8 foot bamboo (in pots) to at least remove the visible barrier between our gardens.

Yes kids in same year group.
I have no interest in being friends but from the day we moved in they made a point of chatting, coming over and bringing us a gift. Initially I thought they were really nice people. I think they are possibly quite bored and the type of people to dream up dramas with people just for something to talk about.

I'd starting winking at the husband over the fence every time I saw him.

Completely ghost. Do not give the trolls anymore oxygen than you already have. Be prepared to be ostracised in the playground too- they seem like the type to thrive on attention and being the victims.

Avoid, ignore, rinse & repeat ad infinitum.

..i bet...i think lol...the next door husband is trying to keep his wife on her toes...its oldest narcissistic trick in the book. Some men tell their OH that other women interested so they look like hot property...it keeps their partner subservient and panicking that she needs to keep him so she will do anything for him. Best to laugh it off .sounds dysfunctional nxt door

I would have lost my shit at being accused of that and would have been at their door to set them very, very straight. Then I would ignore them.

Hahaha, the man is a weirdo with an inflated opinion of himself, and the wife is a tit who believes him. Ignore them.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Grey rock if you absolutely have to, otherwise ignore some more.

I hope you didn't reply when they asked about your DH's salary.

The husband's comments have given you the absolutely perfect excuse to never engage with them again.

Also, as they've shown themselves to be strange and dramatic, I'd limited any time the kids spend in each other's houses too. You don't want them making up stuff about your child.

I’d be getting my husband to wink at him 🤣

I manage perfectly fine without interacting with my neighbours. Not that there's any animosity it's just that we all must come and go at different times or on occasion at the same time- but what is there to chat about? Sometimes I think people on MN think they have to exist like in a sitcom!
Just ignore the weird fuckers.

I would actually go round with my husband & confront them about it, say my piece and walk away.Then I would put a higher fence between the two houses so they couldn't look over & imagine anything else.

I’ve lived all over, & never have I had such busy body neighbours. Even village life wasn’t this bad! I just say hello to some of them & walk by, & they, think I’m the weird one.

Or it would be interesting to confront him about the flirting. See how he tries to get out of that one when you’re f2f. Of course they probably won’t want to speak to you again after that, tut tut.

A lot of people saying ignore and while I suspect that’s probably the most mature response. I couldn’t bear it. I’d have to say hello to her and then say “oops. I should t appear neighbourly. You might think I fancy you, and that’s ridiculous just like your husband” then walk away. I’d probs make sure I had a mum friend from school with me to turn to. I couldn’t let that piece of shit he said about me go unchallenged.

But you'd be lowering yourself to their ridiculous level. When pigs roll in shit you don't join them.

Many years ago one of my neighbours dp's did fancy me. We had similar age dc so did pop for cuppa or to the park sometime.. She thought it was hilarious.. I didn't. Especially when he turned up at dd's nursery trying to pick her up saying he was her df.. I moved.. He went to jail for some violent offence. She waited for him and had another dc with him. It didn't end well. Don't play games op.

The thing is, some people have an agenda unfortunately. It's not that they're being friendly, they're scoping you out, coz you're new and haven't figured them out yet.

My sister had something similar when she moved into a new apartment complex - the first person over like a shot was a woman who had lived there for years, seemed all helpful and friendly, if a bit full on...

Well she turned out to be a total head melt that the other neighbours steered clear of, and she only wanted to befriend my sister to pass off old manky furniture on her (no thanks!).

As much as I'd like to say my piece I feel like it would play into their hands and give them the drama they desperately want. Doing nothing gives them nothing which means they have nothing to talk about.
From my chats with them prior to this they seem to be the sort of people who fall out with others often. They don't speak to either side of the family which says a lot.

I don’t think you need to “deal” with them at all. The woman has already started ignoring you, so just do nothing. You may well jump into them at the school gates or wherever, but just…do nothing.

I would take a different approach and speak to them saying you find it hilarious (in a 'how on earth did you get that idea?' way). Make out that you both find it funny and can't believe how they (or the husband) got that idea. Put them on the spot. Go round as a couple, put on a united front, keep giggling and show them they are being ridiculous. If the husband is making mischief, it will certainly put him in his place.

Have some fun with it

Get some pampas grass and a hot tub

Wave at them only when you're wearing a bikini and carrying a cocktail

why not have some fun with it 😂

"Oh I heard your husband mentioned to mine that he thought I was flirting with him, I think he must have got the wrong end of the stick as I'm actually a lesbian and we're just married for the kids' sake" pause, lean in, smile "By the way, what are you doing tonight? We could open a bottle of wine."