How to deal with weird, obsessive neighbours

[funnybones23]

Moved into our house a few years ago to find that the family of one of ds school friends lived next door. Very pleasant to begin with, lots of chats over the fence and they brought us a welcome gift etc.

They seemed very interested in our lives in a bit of a nosey/competitive way. Always asking about ds grades, what we were doing to the house, once even asked about dh salary!

Out of the blue the woman just started ignoring me one day. I could literally be out in the yard and she would look away whereas previously she'd always make a point of chatting. The husband was still friendly but by this point I'd started finding them a bit odd and hard work so I distanced myself a bit.

Found out that the husband had called dh over for a 'private word' to discuss what's wrong with me. Long story short he insinuated that I'd been flirting with him (absolutely untrue!) and that he hopes he hasn't given me the wrong idea.

Thankfully dh and I had a good laugh about it as he thinks they are as bonkers as I do but I'm actually starting to get pissed off now. Had dh been a different man a comment like that could have caused a lot of trouble between us as well as being a total lie. I've only ever tried to be pleasant and neighbourly, nothing else.

Between that, the rude wife and the competitive nosiness I just don't want anything to do with them now. But obviously living next door and having kids at the same school means I'm going to bump into them a lot.

How would you deal with them?

Possibly @Dotto if you are a ranty rude individual. But if you are a smart strong woman you can stand up for yourself with impunity and shame on you for making women feel they should be silent to be decorous.

No, not shame on me at all, thanks. Refusing to play into the hands of idiots is not silencing women ffs.

I don't think @Dotto has been ranty or rude in the slightest.

Making the decision not to engage with people who either imagine things or make stuff up about you is not anti feminist in the slightest. I'd say it's the wisest course of action.

Op has to live next door to these weirdos, so escalating the situation probably won't help. Totally freezing them out will probably bother them more than any other action anyway.

So she is not talking to you because her husband told her you were coming onto him 😀

😂😂😂 brilliant! OP, please do this!

@wutheringkites I never said she was rude or ranty. I’m saying if you are rude and ranty meaning in reply to your neighbour then yes that could be whatever her term was around behaving like a pig in shit or something. But if you are polite and pleasant then why not speak your mind if you want to. Not everyone is able to speak up for themselves or wants to and that’s ok too. I was stating my preference to do so and suggesting it’s adding to shit is in my opinion completely disempowering a woman’s voice. She should use it if she wants. Note the if she wants. If she doesn’t. Fine. Her choice for whatever reason. She may think it’s fuelling the neighbours behaviour, who knows. I couldn’t let a woman think that of me without correcting her though as it is a hideous thing to be accused of. And you can bet they are telling others about it. If no one corrects you, you believe you have the correct narrative, in my opinion.

That reminds me of a time during my very first job. A girl I was friends with told me how one of the guys she dated for a short period of time, told her that apparently I liked him, but he was not interested in me as I am was not his type, I don’t remember exact wording now.

I remember feeling so embarrassed because I was NOT interested in him at all! I had no idea how he arrived to this conclusion, but the only time I talked to him was when a year before that chat, we went to a pub with the team and I sat next to him only because the sit was not taken. We had a short conversation about music or smth like that, I was not flirting, didn’t say anything out of ordinary. Till this day I am still impressed by his confidence and still stressed out when I talk to men in case they will think I like them in a romantic way. 😅

Ah, ok, sorry I misunderstood your post @Calamitousness

I still think this has nothing to do with feminism though.

You’re best option would have been to have laughed hysterically, the pair of you, when DH told you, loudly do they heard it.

But I’d just ignore them now. They sound like trouble.

I'd have no time for any of this BS and would just ignore them from now on. So what if their son is in your son's year group/class/friendship group, the kids can be friends doesn't mean you need to be friends with the parents. Especially weird, batshit ones like that 😂