Mt boyfriend the therapist does like my emotions

[Goldielockes]

My boyfriend is a therapist. I love my boyfriend and most of the time he is great. But sometimes he really upsets me. I can't understand how he doesn't understand emotions given the job he does.

I am a human being and I am not perfect. Sometime I get upset with things and sometimes I get annoyed. Today I got annoyed because I said don't put a drink on the wall in the garden because it's windy and it will get knocked over. He made fun of me as if I'm being ridiculous so I said OK do it. Two minutes later both my drink and his drink are knocked over (the cups were plastic so didn't break). I know its not a big thing but I got annoyed for a few seconds and then I got to to make another drink. He was then angry about me getting annoyed. He said he wasn't angry. He said its nothing so I shouldn't have got annoyed and that I'm being unreasonable. It's like he wants me to be a robot.

Now I'm upset. It was something stupid. I was annoyed for a few seconds and then he gets angry. I asked him why he is allowed to have an emotional reaction towards me but I am not allowed to express any negative emotions. He said because I'm being over the top.

My boyfriend is a therapist. I don't understand how he can't see that having emotions, even negative ones are normal. It's not like I started throwing things or screaming at him. I was just annoyed and made a comment saying I said if would get knocked over.

Now he is not talking to me. AIBU.

Does this ring any bells op? It sounds as if he may be similar. And it’s fine to bring up his job if he’s manipulating you like this. He’s literally using his knowledge against you yet has zero reflection on his behaviour.

This sort of thing was the biggest contributor to the failure of my last LTR. Partner wasn't a therapist but fancied himself as one, thought he had dealt with all his issues and was very focused on everyone else and their problems.

If he felt criticised in any way he would immediately go on the defensive. He also would try and suppress any of my negative emotions even those not directed towards him (I'm overreacting, I should do my affirmations, I shouldn't care)

He was basically triggered whenever I had any big feelings and couldn't deal with them. It was suffocating and really affected my mental health. Wouldn't listen to anything I said about it, for years. (has now reflected somewhat years later, too little to late)

I mainly put it down to a toxic upbringing, being hypervigilant about others emotions as a result, and being emotionally stunted in childhood and adolescence.

An ex became a therapist but seemed with every client and workshop , to be trying to get people to realise their problem was their mother, because he had a problem with his mother. If they didn't agree they were repressing their feelings. He tried to get me to be angry with my mother because she died when I was a baby (I am not). He had a complete blind spot!

Yeah, if he grew up around DV that could very well be it. If you've grown up in an environment where a minor spat between a couple turns into violence, you can become terrified of any conflict / anger at all. And the sulking / silent treatment / walking away could be part of it too - like if he's scared he's going to become the sort of man who assaults his partner if he feels a bit annoyed with her, which men who've come from those sorts of families sometimes do. They think they just need to remove themselves from the argument or they might turn violent. Ask him (when you're both calm).

Then he needs to take that to his supervisor

Otherwise he's no good to you or his clients