To wonder if it’s normal to not enjoy days with your children ?

[thepuppetshow]

I work part time and have two days a week off with my children and I dread them a bit.

They are lovely but so demanding (obviously they are as they’re only little) and I struggle to fill the day with them.

Is it the same for anyone else?

Naps are really difficult; she mostly ends up napping in the car to and from places. It may be easier when she’s napping once midday ish. At the moment she needs two naps but does fight the second one terribly sometimes!

Nothing wrong with naps in the car OP.

Totally normal (at least for me anyway).

It does get to a stage where suddenly they play together and leave you alone. Unfortunately, in my experience, it's when the youngest gets to age 4.

Mine are now 4&7 and to be honest, I do still have days where I really don't enjoy looking after them, playing games, getting up every 2 seconds to wipe arse of get them food. It's not really fun is it? If we're all honest with ourselves. But it does get better.

No but does mean I can’t do much with the eldest. I do feel I’m doing a rubbish job at the moment. Last week I managed to get her down for a sleep and tried to engage the eldest in some craft activity but he wasn’t interested at all 😂

Probably.
I knew I wouldn't enjoy time around children so I never had them.
Best decision so far.

Will your 14m old nap in a pushchair? So
you can play with the eldest whilst they sleep? Quick walk then wheel the pushchair into the house.

Tbh I think it’s fine if everyone has some downtime whilst the eldest naps. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do stuff for the sake of it because it’s what you think you ought to be doing.

Thanks. She will nap in a pushchair but it takes ages and we don’t live somewhere you can just walk. So i’d have to wake her to put her back in the car anyway!

It will get easier …

Yes these are difficult ages - mine were about these ages in the first lockdown so you can imagine how I enjoyed that time, balancing both sets of needs with no nursery, no classes and no friends and trying to work as well!

It really does get better once the youngest is somewhere between 2 and 3, and when the eldest starts school you can focus on the little one during the school day then the eldest (with the little one tagging along) once school is over - clubs, play dates, playground trips, baking etc. You will get there OP!

Thanks @metellaestinatrio and yes I imagine lockdown was awful I do love them really of course. Just feel a little low at the moment, not even sure why.

Totally normal but I'm going to be the cliche and say you'll look back and miss it now that I'm in the realm of hormonal pain in the ass twins who ask for money and stay in their pits all day

I find the days off with them hard and mine are 8 and 4 (to be fair the eldest has ASD so the meltdowns can be quite extreme). I had similar ages to you during lockdown and it was hell a lot of the time. I remember being really relieved to get back to work for a rest from the screaming and endless playing! It has got better for me, so I imagine if your two have no extra needs it will be even better for you in just a year or two. Hang in there. If you can make friends with other parents who have similar ages that will be a big help, for some solidarity and distraction

I’ve found friendships with other parents so hard and I don’t normally struggle socially. I had a group from when I had my first but that’s just gone kaput since I had my second, and I can never find parents with more than one who can meet up easily!

@thepuppetshow I used to go to activities for toddlers. Get older DS to nursery for a bit longer next term and take toddler to any activity group to meet people. I met parents at nursery too. DC start heve birthday parties so see who dc plays with at nursery. Definitely being around other adults helps.

Also get DS interested in books. Show him how to do things like construction toys. Try and get him to concentrate. Make a den. Get imaginative play going. I agree with a poster earlier who said get out a few toys. Don’t get the whole box out. Get a variety for a quiet time when DD is sleeping. It’s an ideal time for books and a game.

Thanks. We’ve always gone to groups but don’t really meet anyone.

I don’t really have anywhere to store toys. I read about toy rotation but struggle to do it in practice.

Try to get them one to one occasionally, if you have a friend/ grandparent who could help. The dynamic really changes when they aren’t together. I applaud you for raising your children yourself rather than sending them outside the home full time.