To really quite dislike my teenage DS?

[Alldressedup]

Really would welcome some views on this please. Just got home from holiday with DH, DS14 and DD13. Yet again it was spoiled in parts by DS constant foul mood, incessant moaning and whining, intolerance of anything and anyone who wasn’t British, nit picking at his DS, snapping at everyone. He was pretty much awful for 75% of his waking hours.

The holiday on paper was / should have been great. It’s not like we were forcing him to do anything he wouldn’t/ any other child wouldn’t ordinarily like. Plenty of time to rest and relax too mixed with some days sightseeing etc.

He’s been like this for the last 4 years or so. It’s incredibly draining, it’s as though he says every awful thing that comes into his head. He literally cannot stop moaning and complaining all the sodding time. And some things he says are just vile, especially about other people he doesn’t know, I don’t know where he gets it from or who he is. I know he’s a teenager and at the mercy of his raging hormones, it just seems very extreme and I don’t particularly like him if I’m honest which is upsetting.

Does this sound within the realms of normal teenage behaviour to you?

Very good advice and practical examples of what to say.

Hmm. Some mixed responses here. Thank you to those who have offered sympathy- it’s heartening to hear this maybe isn’t unheard of. And thanks to those who have taken the time to suggest some practical approaches to handling this. Some good advice there, especially @GalacticalFarce. I do say things back to him when he complains but I like your approach so will try and put this in place.
I will also try and keep talking to him about it and see if there’s anything else at play.

I think there are some overly harsh comments about my parenting but hey, this is AIBU so I expected that.

And for those who misconstrued by previous post, of course I wasn’t laughing at any suggestion of racist comments - I was merely trying to indicate that it’s not really racism at play here, more general intolerance of others. Any comment I thought was at all racist would be pounced upon.

"I have told him many times that his moods and behaviour spoils it for the rest of us. He knows that. He says he enjoys our holidays and looks forward to them but then moans non-stop when we’re away (regardless of where we are, UK or abroad)."

Could you tell him how the moaning makes you feel, and maybe do something like take pocket money away / put marbles in a jar for moaning episodes / unpleasant comments about others?

I think you might need to tackle this more if you want it to stop, he seems able not to do it with others and it is bringing you down.

Also the ideas about challenging / discussing the moans / comments sound helpful OP.