Dh off for two weeks and I feel down

[Nobodysaiditwaseasyitssuchashame]

Dh has his two weeks off work now, we can’t really afford to go away properly this year, but live in a hot place by the beach/pools so lots of holiday type things to do.
My Dd will be back to school after it and I just wanted to spend this time with her. Dh and I are not getting on and I don’t feel as relaxed with him around and our routine being different. How can I try to make this a nice time but not be around him the whole time?
Feel so sad as imagine most people can’t wait for their other half to be off so they can spend time together, it’s not normal is it. Don’t want to be sat on a beach tense and miserable, just rang to relax with Dd

No its not normal, healthy relationships people would look forward to time off as a family. Does he know you feel this way?

Divide and conquer.

Send him out with DD one day so you can have some downtime and the next day you take DD and he can have some downtime. Or suggest that he goes to visit his parents/friends for a few days and you take a few days away somewhere too.

Go into work if he's home? Or is this one of those SAHP threads where the SAHP has the horrors that the working parent may actually want to spend time in the house that's not in the brief interlude between working and sleeping?

How can she spend time with her daughter if she goes into work?

Don't ignore how you're feeling. You need to figure out what it is about DH that's making you not enjoy his company and address the issue.

Not easy, and may take time, but please don't brush it under the carpet as it will only manifest into something bigger and uglier.

Good luck OP

This. Also, it;s not fair on your husband either.He wants/deserves a break too and you are a family. You need to concentrate on communicating with him, not talking about your routine being disrupted cos he is at home

But I don't think she does work, given she's complaining her 'routine' is being spoiled by his being at home.

You've got to address what's wrong, not just wait it out for the next two weeks.

@WhereIsBebèsChambre so?

Well it's a bit shitty to have the attitude, ' I don't want to have you around at all in our family home, but am not going to address this with you.' Why would someone live like that unless they were being completely financially supported?

This in the short term.

But obviously you do need to tackle this, so try and have a lunch together at some point so you can connect, and start to talk about what is wrong.

Let’s not turn this into a SAHP bashing thread eg? For all we know the OP is grappling with illness, has a thriving investment and/or only fans business from home or her partner is a total arsehole who anyone would wish in the office for eternity. She has provided too little info to know.

@WhereIsBebèsChambre What in the actual F are you on about? How to make so many assumptions and judgements from one post

@NuffSaidSam I did think this, but then felt sad for Dd that we’d not be doing any actual family things

Your dislike for stay at home parents is really irrelevant here.

You can throw the odd family day in if you want, but it's better for her to have fun days with each of you than awkward, tense days together. She will pick up on it even if you think she doesn't know.

I agree with the divide and conquer thing.

I work in a school so get the holidays off before some absolute delight starts having the usual temper tantrum about SAHMs 🙄...

When dh is off he takes the kids out without me one day and then I do other days, then some days together. Then we both get some rest.

In the longer term, you need to address the problem though as no, it isn't normal to want to avoid seeing your dh 💐

@GivingitToGod It’s not that the routine is disrupted it’s that he disrupts it, brings bad vibes to the relaxed and happy place Dd and I have when just us. Then after she’ll be back to school, me back to work

How does he bring bad vibes?

@TheEuropaHotel I work in a school too and am off with Dd during the holidays…not that I think this has any relevance in what I’m saying at all, even if I was a Sahm, what difference would that make-not directed at you, previous nasty poster

@Flibflobflibflob I just can’t relax the same and be myself like I am when I’m on my own or with Dd

You aren’t making much sense OP. What’s the problem with DH?

If things are that shit, why are you still together?

Is he moody? Difficult?

Maybe, he feels the same. Maybe he wishes he could have time with dd without you around. Maybe you are in a vicious cycle of him being negative because he can tell you don’t want him around and you not anting him around because he is negative. Both bringing out the worst.

You have had time with her in the rest of the holidays.

I get being in an unhappy marriage. I was there. But you either have to address this or suck it up. There’s not a chance your child isn’t picking up on these feelings and that’s really unfair on her. It’s also unfair on him and you.

@Hectorscalling I hide it from her
Dh feels the same, he’s awful to me all the time, mainly when Dd not there, just want him to go back to work so I’m free again
Its like many relationships of friends I see and so on, it’s complicated isn’t it, not that hard to split up always