My mum would talk about wanting to breastfeed my baby

[medoww]

Just want to know if I'm overreacting or not?! When I was breastfeeding my son (breastfed until 16 months he's now 3) my mum used to make comments about breastfeeding him!
She would say things like "Oh I know your hungry nanny would give you her milk if I could" and when he would do the looking for milk thing at the breast area that all babies do (he even would do this to my husband) if my mum was holding him she would say "Oh look he wants milk from me" not just that he's hungry. I can't even explain the rage I would feel inside from this. She never even breasted herself with me or my siblings so I find it even more odd. I'm due my 2nd baby soon so it brought these memories back and I'm dreading these comments again. AIBU to feel this way?

Ah OP, I'm just getting a vibe that she felt a bit sad that she didn't BF herself because it may not have been supported, and she feels very maternal and loving towards her GC.

I don't think it's anything more than that.

I was seconds away from BFing a friend's child once when I was looking after them and they were absolutely inconsolable. I actually wouldn't have minded if another woman that was looking after my babies did that, but I didn't because I knew she would have!

But, I'm very relaxed about wet-nurse type scenarios. I always think it's about the baby's needs, not the mother's.

Nanny is simply apologising, in a jokey way, for not being able to help with what he wants.

This thread is bizarre. These kinds of comments are not remotely unusual from anyone, friends or family, holding a baby who's hungry. It's vaguely amusing when a baby tries to root to no avail.

Hyper-analysing the exact wording to believe that the person is actually wanting to breastfeed your child, is just daft, and probably hormone related. I'm surprised to see so many on this thread indulging it. Some of those poster's responses creep me out, to be honest.

Hard agree.

Don't look for problems where they don't exist.

It's just a casual comment that women may make to each other, not a pervert's charter.

It does boggle my mind a bit how many women on MN look to make very usual interactions into something wrong.

No it's not.

That would be a mad response.

Honestly, you big loon.

Agree with @MagAmberson and @saraclara She obviously really loves her grandchild very much and is apologising for not being able to give them what they need, definitely wouldn’t read too much into it. I find it odd that people are saying that this is odd behaviour, what kind of relationship do you all have with your mothers that this would upset you?

I have to say, I've been around these parts for 18 years and I've seen odd things happen in terms of how parents now feel so much a sense of 'ownership' around their children/babies.

Maybe it's to do with social media and the woman having babies now feel as though their lives have been shared too much and they don't want that for their children. I get that.

But, if you are from a decent and reasonable family, they probably just have your best interests at heart and are making casual comments that are quite normal within a decent family dynamic.

Young babies will ‘root’ when held by anyone.
A baby niece did it when held by a completely bald 90 year old step-great grandfather. Cause of much mirth to everyone, including him.

You didn't read my follow up then?

Why did the Grandma react badly when told that the baby rooted with the OP's DH? (The babies father).

Sorry I just can’t get worked up about these comments. My DD is 18 months old and still feeding but is a massive grandmas girl at the moment. She recently was trying to pull up my mums top, we were all laughing that she was never going to get anything out of those long dried up boobies.

The i would feed you if i could is surely just stating a fact, if she could feed him she would, but she can’t so won’t. It’s not like she has said he wants to feed off my breast.

I personally wouldn't have minded. It's not that long ago babies were often breastfed by other women, my grandmother was.
I bf my 3 last over 14 years ago and still get a weird tingle in my boobs when I hear a little baby crying for milk. I can imagine saying something stupid if I ever have GC.
OP it's fair enough to find it a bit annoying or weird even if others wouldn't. The best thing to do is gently address it at the time.

My mum has made similar comments. And other comments too like ooo you just need a nipple to suck don’t you.

It mildly bothers me but not enough to say anything

I did not!

Her comments really don't sound that bad. My baby used to nestle into my husband's chest and he would say the same!

It's just a silly throwaway comment. Possible also she regrets not having breastfed her own DCs now that she's seen you do it and witnessed the bond it creates.

But no; people on MN want to tell you she's a pervert or weird or disgusting because they don't speak to their own mums or their own mums are horrible and they want other posters to have a failed relationship with their parents to validate their own choices.

Why don't you ask her why she didn't breastfeed you and your siblings? It tuned out my mum had tried to bf us but had been firmly told by the MW that she didn't have enough milk and to give a bottle and in those days you didn't question the professionals. My grandma also wanted a role and had also put the pressure on. My mum even had a little weep about it.

It's been a long time since this happened Op. why are you still focused on it? How is your relationship now?

It's just a bit of living in the past and also wanting to help someone she loves.

It's not a big deal or weird at all.

It's the same as say a kid with soaking wet shoes and socks crying as it's horrible, and the grandmother saying "I'd give you mine if I could (but they wouldn't fit)."

It's not a boob thing or weird. It's a help thing.