I'm a nanny with my own baby - what should I charge?

[Vizella]

Hi all,

I am a single mother of a 1.5 year old DS whom I've committed to looking after until he's 3 - I believe in prioritising his needs above my career, etc etc. I live with my parents at the moment, that's how I can afford it.

However, I am eating into my savings and would like to make some income as an after-school nanny so that I don't deplete all of my savings. Otherwise, I might have to go back to work and I don't want to do that.

My question is, would parents be okay with me looking after their children while I bring my DS along - he is well-behaved and bright, not the type to run around tearing things down - and also, should I charge slightly less or the same hourly rate?

So, in London, nannies charge about £15 net per hour, should I charge £10-12 per hour?

Thanks for your advice (and sorry if any of this offends some of you - no idea how lol, but you never know).

“Honestly why aren’t women/mums supporting other mums?”

Because there is a ton of competition from wrap-around and people aren’t going to be willing to pay more unless they get something objectively better. It’s just supply and demand really. It’s a very different prospect having a nanny with child who is similar age and could be a playmate to trying to mix a 1yo with older primary children.

It was my idea as I've read that children in a large group setting were exposed to lots of stress and noise, which could later lead to ADHD, anxiety or depression.

Ideally, a child will be looked after by the mother for the first 3 years, and then the next preferable person is the father. The hierarchy goes like this:

Mother > Father > grandparents/aunt/relatives > Nanny > Childminder > Nursery.

Back in the day when my DC were small, a nanny with her own child was definitely a thing - it was treated the same as nanny share with another family would have been. i.e. you paid a bit less than you would if the nanny was working for you exclusively.

It looks like I'll have to forget about being an after school nanny for a while. I can give ESL conversation lessons on an online platform or app or something.

Well I wanted exactly that, if you read my earlier post. It made my life much easier than if I'd had to take my baby to a childminder every morning. There was absolutely no downside for me.

ADHD is hard wired. It’s a neurodivergence - literally a different brain. It isn’t caused by group childcare/noise.

Approach agencies and see who they have on their books looking.

We have a lovely nanny and I know she and her DH would love to have a baby of their own. If she had become pregnant (or becomes pregnant in the future) then if love to continue employing her. BUT I don't think I would have employed her with a young baby if I didn't already know her. So I think this arrangement is not very likely to be successful.

If you do decide to try, I'd recommend that you look at families with toddlers rather than preschool age. You can take two toddlers to groups/activities etc, and they are more likely to eat/sleep in a compatible way. They'd be little playmates together - one of my boys LOVEs our Nancy's nephew who he sees once a week. An only child would benefit from having your little me to play with, but a primary school aged child won't.

Families apparently vary but I’m sure if you are reliable, offer flexible hours etc, especially someone with 2+ kids may bite your hand off for a good rate like £12 ph.

That might be true but she isn't offering those things. She doesn't want to work later than 5:30/6, look after more than 1 other child, cook dinner.

You have to offer an attractive package in terms of hours and services

Why on earth not? I have a toddler and they aren’t my only child and I manage extremely well! Why should it be a problem? Many people have more than 1 or 2 children and are extremely competent.
I don’t get the problem?

Where did you read this? Genuinely interested as my reading suggests that nursery is a helpful learning environment for young children

Sorry but your wording is bizarre. You've committed to look after your child until he's 3? Newsflash: you've committed to looking after him for many, many more years than that - he's YOUR child!

The only way this would work would be if you were a childminder in your own home, and other people brought their kids to you. That way, your child would be no different than if you were looking after another child for someone else.

But taking the toddler with you, into other people's homes? Some people may be okay with that, but it's really not a great situation, and to be honest it's not very fair on your child, either.

Why on earth not? I have a toddler and they aren’t my only child and I manage extremely well! Why should it be a problem? Many people have more than 1 or 2 children and are extremely competent.
I don’t get the problem?

You would pay someone to have only half an eye on your kid? As a parent you are in tune with all your kids needs

The paid help won't be

I use an after (trustworthy but relatively inexperienced) school nanny for primary age children, I ask that they take my kids to the local park (weather permitting) and they usually run around until 5pm, then come home and watch TV until I get back at 6pm. All walkable, no cars/ public transport to worry about. I do dinner, homework, baths, etc with them.

i would be fine with you bringing your little one as long as you/they are happy to do what my kids want in terms of outdoor time. I would only be concerned about what would happen if your toddler wants to go home, gets cold, bored, etc and mine want to keep playing? Also with your own dependent, will you be as reliable? Also would we need to toddler-proof our home?

We pay £15 per hour, would expect a slight reduction for your situation.

Lots of people have told you that it’s a thing and possible so not sure why you are saying you need to forget it.

it could be something that would be interested in for a bit less the normal rate, but I have 2 kids.

your attitude though to people outsourcing childcare is horrible though so I would not want to hire you on that basis. I wouldn’t want someone who was so judgemental about my choices and what I needed to do for my family.

Good point. I would need until 7 and some flexibility for later evenings

She was offensive though. She’s said she’s choosing not to work to ‘prioritise her child’. So those of us who work are not prioritising our children? I don’t have the safety net of being able to live with parents… but sure me working is because I’m not prioritising my kids (not that I have to put a roof over my head).

Exactly, I found her offensive too. I work to prioritize the needs of my children to make sure I can give them what they need.

Our daughter did this for a period whilst studying. It was for a good friend which may have made a difference but she did 2 full days per week and took her child in one day. So, her charge (who was 1 year older) had the benefit of the company of another child for one day, which she loved, and full attention for 1 day. She often asked after my grandchild when he wasn’t there. I think it could work.

A couple of years on, the children are still best of friends 😀

We did this - it was a stop gap thing that suited us both. She was known to me but had a toddler of her own. We probably paid 20% under and worked for us and her.

I would have no qualms in using a nanny with a child of her own, as long as the price reflected that.

I would however have qualms with using a nanny who has such ableist views as to feel ADHD can be ‘caused’.

I wouldn't mind someone who wasnt qualified in childcare for just after school work. But I wouldn't want them to be doing it just for the money. They would have to care about the role.
OP, it's worth a try if you are committed to caring for a child in this way and supporting a family.

I did this a few years ago. Some people weren't keen, some didn't think twice about it. I wouldn't charge less than minimum wage as it makes it look dodgy or as if you are a child.

No one knows what the cause of ADHD is. But there are some that believe environmental factors play a part. Shes not wrong to use that word.

Women look after multiple children all the time, so I don't see why it wouldn't be perfectly possible.

You will have to be upfront about it and I'm sure you would find a client happy to pay a bit less for childcare on this basis.