Estate Agent contacting DH not me

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I've recently organised some valuations on our house, as we are intending to put it up for sale soon. It was me that contacted the estate agents and me that had the meeting with the EA today. DH only popped in at the end to say hello and see EA out, as I had an online meeting starting (EA was 30 minutes late arriving).

I was wondering why I'd not had the email valuation, as EA said he would send it today. It turns out that he had sent it to DH not me! I vaguely remembered that one of the agents had taken DH contact details, as well as mine, although I'd declined to give them his phone number, as it will be me dealing with them. I must have given them his email address, but I'd definitely given mine first. DH has checked, and it was sent just to him, as I was wondering if maybe they'd mistyped my email or something. But no! Just straightforward chauvinism.

I'm fuming. AIBU?

I would change EA. This happened to me too, and my DH told them numerous times, "You need to talk to my wife, it's her house."
Luckily there are loads of EAs out there who will happily take over. Good luck with the sale.

I was selling a flat, organised everything, etc. When it was handed over to the solicitors, he only wrote to DH, who wasn't actually involved at all.

I was furious, I'm still furious as it's out and out sexism. I wrote but got fobbed off. People think it doesn't matter but it really does.

The EA has done you a favour little lady. You see, all this house buying business is quite complicated when you don’t have a penis to think with. Best to leave it to the men while you go and arrange some flowers.

OR you could find an EA who isn’t a misogynistic throwback from the 1950s. How does this still happen. Sadly, he probably needs to hear from your husband why he’s just lost your commission.

Yes that's fair and sometimes that might be true. Sadly though myself and others often have had too many instances of this in life for them all to be accidents. Which informs our reaction. But if you have two email addresses you should include both people.

Wait, so they emailed an address you gave them, who is also the person who wound up the meeting and showed them out.

chip much?

In what way is it "chip" to expect them to contact the person who made the appointment and who had the appointment, and who the EA said he would send the valuation to? If they wished to send it to both of us, then that would have been absolutely fine. The fact is, the EA chose to pick the 2nd email address, which is the name of the person they did not have an appointment with.

DH did not "wind up the meeting" he took the EA to the door, at my request, as I was starting an online meeting (at the time I had told them when I booked the appointment). DH was passing through in the brief period between his own online work meetings. EA seemed to want to stay to do a longer sales pitch, but as he'd turned up 30 minutes late there wasn't time. He did not say "I will send you the valuation" to DH, he said it to me, earlier on, before DH had even appeared. But obv all just a silly little woman with a chip!

This is the only estate agent who has asked for DH's contact details. DH responded asking why the email had been sent to him, and querying their efficiency. Got a complete non-apology saying their system is to send to only 1 person. I geniunely was wondering where the valuation had got to, checking my junk mail etc, as DH hadn't checked his personal email that day. Our email addresses are clearly our names, e.g JaneMason@hotmail.com LeonardMason@hotmail.com so no excuse. The EA (one of the partners) actively chose to email the man of the house, rather than the person he actually had the appointment with. There is no excuse for this kind of chauvinism.

Couldn't agree more!

maybe because the email
address used is not being monitored terribly well. Otherwise she op would not have been chasing it.

Do you habitually read all your husband's email then, and he yours? Sounds like an extremely inefficient setup. Or you're both superhumans who - unlike OPs DP - automatically forward every communication to the partner who's actually handling a given issue. Again: inefficient.

Why would I read my DHs emails? If we were waiting for an email, it wouldn't matter who it came to as long as we got it. The whole thing does sound very chip on shoulder to me, and taking the time to email them to ask why it was sent to the DH 🤯 sounds draining. Why on earth hand over his email address if you're so against him receiving an email? Why not just say no when they asked?

Company or school emails a man, woman complains it is sexist, the company or school emails a woman the woman complains they have to do all the life admin and 'why do I have to organise everything'

Exactly.

Because they're two sides of the same coin. The woman is the default for kid related stuff, the man for money stuff. It's lazy gender pigeon holing and we can all do better than that.

Yes exactly this.

I like the idea of emailing to ask where the valuation is. They'll then say they send it to your husband and then you can say "well that was either sexism or lack of attention to detail or both so I'll go to another agent, goodbye".

Or they'll just send it to you as well and pretend they hadn't already sent it to your DH.

A good estate agent should be an expert at attention to detail, so if they can't manage to email the person who was with them in the meeting and was potentially setting the contract up, it doesn't bode well for their services.

It's not about sexism, it's just about incompetency.

What if they email the wrong buyer accepting the wrong offer?

Nah.. pathetic rant. You’re a joint entity (unless the house is in your sole name - apologies if I missed that) and you provided the bloody email address 😂

this whole thread is hilarious.

Stay with them but go with another agent of theirs.

Have you called and spoken to the guy who emailed your DH for an explanation? Actually in person would be better.

Yeah, but we can guess though, can't we?

You could toss a coin, for all the good it would do.

I've found some male estate agents to be like this. It's like they're 50 years behind the rest of the population, but some just aren't very bright.
YANBU, at all!

Both are a good reason not to go with them