To want to promote a harmless but wrong belief?

[MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting]

Dd8 got a new fairy house toy. In the building instructions it said that after constructing the house if the key to the door disappears it means a fairy (presumably invisible) has moved in. So before going to bed dd told me about this quite a few times and about how curious she is whether the key will be gone by tomorrow morning. I thought it was in the hope that I'll get the hint and get rid of the key but then she said explicitly that she doesn't want ME to remove the key. So now I'm totally lost about what to do. Does she want to believe in fairies? Does she want to test whether fairies really exist?

As far as I know she does not believe in fairies. We still do the whole tooth fairy thing but I'm pretty sure she knows the tooth fairy isn't real. Same with santa.

I think she will be disappointed if I do nothing ie don't take the key but I also feel it's unfair to sabotage her experiment if that is what she wants to do.

YANBU: Just take the key and then lie about it. It's a bit of harmless fun and it's not worth disappointing her.

YABU: well, don't take it because it's a lie and it's wrong. She might not trust you again and you don't know what the implications are if she actually starts believing in fairies.

YABVVVU: stop overthinking this. Just go to bed and stop wasting people's time.
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Or I could take the key but then admit to it if she asks whether I did?

Take the key. Move it somewhere not close but obvious. Say nothing, deny everything.

I'd leave it and read the room tomorrow about how upset she is and then take it tomorrow or the next night and act surprised.

We tackled this by “deciding we believe in fairies this week.” It seemed to work well.

If she’s asked you not to take the key, don’t take it.

I would leave it tonight but do it another night. I’m not sure why I think that would be more believable 😂

I don’t know why put ourselves through all these things and I’m quite glad I’m out the other side of all this!

Honestly my DD at 8 would have told me about the key thing and then taken it and hidden it herself and told me that fairies were real 😂

Take it in a couple of days, then act surprised.
It's a white lie, not a real lie.

Or a fairy lie.

Take the key. My daughter laid unicorn traps in our garden when she was little and the absolute joy she used to get from finding hoofprints and strands of unicorn hair and the occasional magic gift from the unicorns (me, dicking about in the garden at 1am with an old horseshoe, some glitter, and some sparkly embroidery floss) was lovely.

She's 16 now and has not been scarred by the realisation that the unicorn was me all along! Make believe is one of the joys of childhood. Give her that little glimmer of magic.

Oh, that's adorable. How old was your dd when she laid the traps?

I think, if she was younger it wouldn't be such a difficult decision but at 8 I feel I need

to respect her wishes though I'm not sure if thst is actually what she wants. I think she wants the key to disappear but she doesn't want me to take it. Or maybe she just doesn't want to know that I have taken it.

She did whisper to me last Christmas to not forget to eat the mince pies and carrots she left out for santa so I thought initially that she was hinting I should take the key..

Also, we are going away tomorrow on holiday so I don't really want to leave it for a few days.

don't take the key, if she seems sad then tell her it takes fairies longer to save up house deposits these days because liz truss fucked everyone over.

😂

Oh great. It's pouring down. The whole thing is looking suddenly a lot more unreasonable to me...

I took the key. When she asks me tomorrow whether I did I'll ask her if she really wants to know and if she says yes, I'll tell her the truth. And if she really wants to I'll just give the key back to her and she can do her experiment tomorrow.

I’m a sucker for things like this, I’d take the key, write a letter with a sparkly pen and occasionally leave some fairy dust on the floor 😀

This is actually what I wanted to do when I bought the stupid thing but then I started over thinking the whole thing...

If you are going away then once she is in the car pop back and take the key. When you get home there will be no question that you didn't take it as you weren't there

I used to get them to leave their baby teeth in a saucer of water that the ToothFairy fished it out from, leaving a hint of pastel colour (food colouring) and a Golden Coin £1.

i read it on this very site MN and we did this until they were out of baby teeth , well they played along as they wanted the money .

Both now well adjusted fully functioning adults 😌

My DC1 begged me to tell them the truth about the Tooth Fairy. Which I did. Turns out they actually did NOT want to know, and were expecting me to say the Tooth Fairy was real.

So I choose to believe in magic every time now. I cannot be drawn on the “truth” of the existence of magical beings, as I just tell them I believe in magic, do they? It’s up to them…

I second this, maybe write some little notes saying the fairies hope DD had a good holiday. You could sprinkle some glitter about if you can live with it being there for the next 10 years.

I used to have an amazing imagination as a child and I remember desperately hoping my mum would play along. I used to have fairy dolls and sometimes I’d say to my mum “did you see that?! They just moved themselves!”
She would always answer yes and sometimes moved them about at night when I was asleep.
My grandad built fairy houses and put sweets and and glitter in them.
I was 10 and I knew they weren’t real but I loved the magic in pretending.

I’ll never forget making a fairy house at my Nan and granddads and they bought flower fairy dolls and positioned them in the house with a dolls tea set.
My younger less imaginative sister was completely the opposite and used to say “she’s bonkers mum! They aren’t real”

I love the idea of you planning this for you return from holiday. Post holiday blues are awful and this will be a lovely surprise.

I'd get someone else to take the key

That's what I was thinking.

I think you should start a fairy airbnb and have a visitor's book that occasionally gets filled in with reviews.

I am a huge fan of keeping the magic alive! I still vividly remember my mum answering honestly about father Christmas when I was younger. I asked - but I wished I hadn't.

I will now NEVER let on to my children. I will tell them that magic is real until they are fully grown. My eldest is 13 and very much knows the truth (he asked a few years back but my party line has always been that FC is real with a wink when necessary if he's eye rolling me), but he still plays along for his younger siblings. No harm done, it's just fun and playfulness.

If your DD asks, be curious as to what she thinks... does she believe in magic? I would bet that she wants to. 8 is so young to lose some of that excitement!

No I wouldn’t take the key, but I’m sure she will be disappointed but she’s going to quiz you on whether you took it or not and I’d feel bad lying if she kept pressing

Op your over thinking this. Take the key and believe in fairies.

My dd is nearly -10 and last year was questioning Santa. My response was well I believe in the magic of Christmas and if I wanted presents I would believe also and she didn't mention it again. I am never ever telling her Santa isn't real and when she's old enough to completely realise I'm still saying on Christmas Eve that she needs to get into bed or Santa won't come. There is no need for the dramatic sit down and explain.