To want to promote a harmless but wrong belief?

[MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting]

Dd8 got a new fairy house toy. In the building instructions it said that after constructing the house if the key to the door disappears it means a fairy (presumably invisible) has moved in. So before going to bed dd told me about this quite a few times and about how curious she is whether the key will be gone by tomorrow morning. I thought it was in the hope that I'll get the hint and get rid of the key but then she said explicitly that she doesn't want ME to remove the key. So now I'm totally lost about what to do. Does she want to believe in fairies? Does she want to test whether fairies really exist?

As far as I know she does not believe in fairies. We still do the whole tooth fairy thing but I'm pretty sure she knows the tooth fairy isn't real. Same with santa.

I think she will be disappointed if I do nothing ie don't take the key but I also feel it's unfair to sabotage her experiment if that is what she wants to do.

YANBU: Just take the key and then lie about it. It's a bit of harmless fun and it's not worth disappointing her.

YABU: well, don't take it because it's a lie and it's wrong. She might not trust you again and you don't know what the implications are if she actually starts believing in fairies.

YABVVVU: stop overthinking this. Just go to bed and stop wasting people's time.
.

Absolutely agree, keep the magic going. I broke the news to my daughter that there was no Santa just before she moved from Primary to secondary school. She’s now in her 20s and said she was devastated to find out, wish I’d just rolled with it and let her find out from school friends.

I am 40 and have still never officially told my parents that I know about Santa! I can't remember when I really realised, but kept the pretence up for a while for my sister's sake (4 years younger) and then because we liked the stocking tradition and didn't want it to stop.

DS1 is nearly 8 and asking highly suspicious questions about the tooth fairy though, so I'm not sure I'll be able to manage the same with him.

She wants you to take the key but pretend you didn't! Definitely leave evidence of fairies and have fun with it.

I told my DS that Santa only came to younger children so when he went up to secondary school Santa would no longer visit but we would buy his presents instead - in the same way as we bought for each other and grandparents.

I do the same with mine. I still insist on following the Santa tracker and leaving out mince pies…the roll their eyes and humour me 😀

Apparently when I was 5 or 6 my mum and my sister stood outside my window on Christmas Eve with bells so that I would hear the sleigh.
Slept through it, woke up in the early hours and stuffed the chocolate from the sack of presents. If I'd heard the bells I don't think I'd have been scarred for life - just go along with it.

Thanks everyone. Quick update. So the key was in a little glass bottle (like a potion's bottle) and I had taken the entire bottle (as it was pouring down and past midnight...). So when she saw the next day that the bottle was missing rather than just the key she decided that the wind must have just moved the bottle bexause obviously a fairy would just take the key. She was quite disappointed and didnt believe me when i suggested that maybe the fairy thought the bottle is a key ring..And she didn't ask me if I'd taken it. So when we came back from our trip i put the bottle back along with a flower petal and some glitter.

She hasn't been in the garden yet so hasn't seen it yet...

Has she noticed now OP? What did she say?

I hope you take the key.

Not fairies but Father Christmas. My 2 eldest dc (15 and 13) still ask me whether he is real. Of course I know that they don't believe it anymore but I'm not admitting to anything! Elf, carrots for rudolf will be a necessity forever!

Aww so sweet. Mine are teens now but I still remember when DD1 was super into fairies.

One day I clean forgot to sort out the tooth fairy and the tooth was still there when she woke up. Epic fail

But she rescued it herself. She said 'I wonder if I woke up too early and disturbed her and the fairy is just waiting in the bushes outside my window?'

Well obviously I took the bait, played along and when she went for breakfast I sorted out the tooth and the coin and left a little note from the fairy

And then she expected a sodding note every time!

I miss these days. Please come back and tell us her reaction!

DD is 16 now and we've never ever discussed whether fairies or Father Christmas are real. She knows. I know she knows but neither of us have ever felt the need to be so black and white about stuff and she still puts the carrot and the mince pie out for me to eat!

Aren't fairies real?
Nobody has ever proved to me they are not ;)
I am pleased to read the key is gone.

I remember one Christmas Eve my DD asked if Santa was real. She was 8 or 9 I think. Her eyes were full of tears, she was overexcited and overtired and a ‘no’ could’ve ruined the next day! So I said yes, she went to bed happy, done.
8 months later we were driving round a roundabout on the way to do the dreaded school uniform shopping and she asked me again. I said ‘do you actually want to know’ and she said ‘I just want the truth’. So I told her. And she took it well because she was ready and it wasn’t Christmas the next day! She just said ‘so all the presents were from you?’ I said yes. And she nodded and said ‘thanks’. (And was happy to keep the secret from her friends because I said they all had younger sisters so it wasn’t fair for them to be told).
I think ‘lies’ like that are ok in those contexts. I also think you know your child and know when it’s time.

tell her the truth. i stupidly told my child when she was very young that fairies came during thunderstorms (something that doesn’t happen frequently) this was because she had a fairy door with no fairies and i needed to buy some. She shared this with her sister who is now 8 and still believes it and I often have to faff around with fairies!

Things can never just be simple, can they?

Dd finally went into the garden and discovered that the bottle had returned with the key missing and lots of glitter and a flower petal inside instead. She screamed. She was half excited and half freaked out especially about the glitter. She said several times how creepy this is but then she looked at me curiously and suddenly said that I looked very guilty and sheepish (I'm sure I did. I definitely felt guilty and sheepish) and did I have anything to do with it. I told her the truth.

She was relieved but at the same time also disappointed and a bit annoyed with me for messing with her experiment.

Anyway, she said now she will need another fairy garden to carry out the experiment again..I asked her to put it on her Christmas wish list (I'm not that gullible!!). This time I will not mess with her experiment. Actually I think I'll get her another fairy garden for her birthday rather than Christmas as I don't want her questioning santa as well...

I know I'm totally overthinking this. When she was a toddler I totally messed up the whole santa thing. First told her that santa isn't real but then she freaked out when she saw a santa in the supermarket and found my explanation that it's just a random man dressing up to make kids happy even freakier. In my defense I didn't grow up in the uk. Where I grew up even though Christmas is massive I don't remember myself or any of my friends ever believing in santa. Even though officially the place I grew up in is predominantly Catholic most people i think are atheists. It didn't make Christmas any less magical for me so it never struck me to tell her that santa is real. It's only after moving to the UK that I realised that this is a thing in the uk. She made it clear as a 2 or 3 year old that she wanted to believe and since then we've been following all the traditions and going along with it. Same with the tooth fairy, etc. And a few years ago I read on mumsnet how horrible kids are that tell others that santa isn't real (and I'd totally expect her to share her knowledge) so thst worried me as well. And then of course all these traditions related to santa, the tooth fairy, etc are just so adorable and so much fun.

Anyway, this Christmas I'll continue to quietly eat the mince pies and carrots and fill her stockings (thankfully Id learnt from mumsnet to claim that presents in the stocking are from santa and presents under the tree are from family and friends) and hope she won't ask questions because otherwise you can expect another thread in December from me