Husband going to be difficult at family wedding if adult son of 30 drinks!

[Sligomum]

My son of 30 (family man with 2 kids) is invited to a family wedding and my husband (his dad is objecting to him drinking) as it’s going to embarrass him) I know it’s going to cause a scene , as my husband did the same when he was a teenager and and had a few at his cousins wedding ( he was actually just merry and happy) , I’m now dreading the wedding ! Is he being unreasonable?

Tell your husband that what embarrasses you is him telling a 30yo off for having a drink, and he can find himself somewhere to sleep and get himself there if he does that, he won’t be coming home with you.

What is a bunch on the low?

@IvysMum12 I’d imagine it means the couple (who usually drink) are trying to respect cultural norms for the comfort of older relatives (who may well be paying for the wedding) plus having a little stash of booze somewhere that only a select few who they know will want to drink will be aware of.

I think OP means there will be alcohol available but not visibly? Is that right OP?

It does seem like a ridiculous overreaction from your DH.

Many a times, the groom's or bride's friends and cousins will organise an alcohol stash somewhere to have fun later or have drinks slyly. If alcohol is to be available, it won't be your son's responsibility to source it. And if it is indeed a dry wedding, then he really shouldn't be bringing any.
In either case, your husband is creating unnecessary tension.

If the Bride and groom are providing a stash, why would your son want to sneak some in.

If the Bride and Groom are doing that, they last thing they want is someone else sneaking it in risking someone being drunk. They are bringing it in and they will be able to control it so it’s not obvious to family members they are trying to respect.

I am going to guess there’s a long history of your son’s poor behaviour and it’s put your husband on edge. And perhaps history of you down playing the problems your son is causing.

Has it occurred to you that English might not be OP's first language?

@WhereDoWeGoFromHereBill that's really bloody rude.

Can you speak to your son and remind him that we have to be respectful at a dry wedding and not "appear" to be drunk even if there is some sneaky drink available.

That it's you that's asking him although you know your husband will also be worried about foolish drunken behaviour.

In the meantime speak to your husband and remind him that it's common practice for the younger ones to have a couple of drinks but nothing intoxicating and not to get upset if any of the adult children partake. That if anyone gets drunk the best thing to do is NOT make a scene as that just draws even more attention.

You can’t have a ‘bunch of alcohol’ it’s a liquid

Your husband's attitude sounded ridiculous until you explained. If your son is unable to attend a culturally non-alcoholic wedding, he shouldn't come at all. If he is intending to bring alcohol in surrepticiously then your husband is quite right and I hope you will agree. Don't let him let your family down.

You can't dictate sobriety if alcohol is on offer