Husband going to be difficult at family wedding if adult son of 30 drinks!

[Sligomum]

My son of 30 (family man with 2 kids) is invited to a family wedding and my husband (his dad is objecting to him drinking) as it’s going to embarrass him) I know it’s going to cause a scene , as my husband did the same when he was a teenager and and had a few at his cousins wedding ( he was actually just merry and happy) , I’m now dreading the wedding ! Is he being unreasonable?

If he was joking it's a non issue. If he wasn't joking I think it IS embarrassing for him to be drinking at a dry wedding.

My husband's family have a Methodist branch and their weddings were dry. It wasn't unusual for the older men to go outside to smoke, and drink from hip flasks.

If this is your son's plan then you don't get much ina hip flask.

It is a tad disrespectful but not really worth arguing over.

@Sligomum so its a bit like what will the friends think etc kinda situation ?

If your son is serious, that's really disrespectful to source and drink alcohol at a wedding where the bride has explicitly said no alcohol.

Bit of a drip-feed there, as the issue isn't so much a grown man drinking alcohol as a grown man potentially being really inappropriate by bringing alcohol to an alcohol-free wedding.

Seems like this could he sorted witja conversation. Talk to your son and make sure it was a joke.and he ia not bringing alcohol.

If your son can't go an evening without drinking, then he needs to decline the invitation.

If it's an alcohol free wedding, then your ds should either not drink or stay away. It's rude to just take your own.

If he can’t go one evening without a drink it’s a pretty big problem.

It being an Asian wedding where alcohol won't be served changes things a lot from your OP. There may be people there with strong religious views around alcohol, I'd be embarrassed if a member of my family turned up with alcohol too. It would be very disrespectful.

Apparently, just been informed by my younger son that the bride and groom intend to have a bunch for alcohol at the wedding (on the low, apparently), so I’m not to worry…

Speak to your son, he was hopefully joking.

Exactly right.

Op, you really need to step back and relax. You're talking about a 30 year old man here. What he does or doesn't do is not your responsibility.

This changes things. If it’s an alcohol free wedding your son is totally out of order.

Easier said than done tbf when she's looking at an evening likely to end in ructions between her husband and son, both no doubt wanting her in their corner. Not to mention the wider family judgement of her son if he is embarrassing. Most people would struggle to relax and enjoy an evening with that as the back drop.

I think your husband is right. Sneaking alcohol into a dry wedding is disrespectful. You need to have a conversation with your son to see if he's joking or not. Unfortunately, as he's a 30 year old man, there's not much you can do about him drinking if he chooses to. You can let him know you're not happy about it though.

Not sure what you mean?

Your husband sounds like a controlling bully.

A 30 year old man does not have to do what his Dad says. If he has any sense, he'll ignore these ridiculous requests and do exactly what he wants to and if your DH kicks off about it then he's the one who's going to look like a twat.

What does that even mean?

Your husband is a twat.

Secret booze at an Asian wedding isn't unusual - keep up appearances for the judging aunties, until some cousin offers you Johnnie Walker 😁 Best not to get very drunk though - being a bit jolly is easier to explain away!

Your son shouldn't bring any himself, though.

What a fuss about nothing.

I don’t know what having a bunch on the low is mind, that might be more serious.

Your son is 30 ffs!

I'm sure he was joking about sourcing his own booze, but I'm afraid he doesn't need your permission anymore. Why the hell is he being judged for something he did in his teens? If he does decided to make a twat of himself at the wedding, let him get on with it!

Do you have some nice SILs / parents / friends you can sit with, and leave them to get on with it?

Putting what you put in your 2nd post into the opening post might have helped people understand what you are talking about.

But it still isn't clear to me what the issue is or what this has to do with your husband, or, indeed, what your AIBU is.