If you never used to enjoy sex, how did you start enjoying it?

[Helpabojttown]

I think I must be very strange. I’m 28 years old and I’ve never enjoyed sex.

I enjoy oral, but never vaginal. sex doesn’t hurt as such, but it does feel very tight and even when my body adjust it just doesn’t bring me any pleasure.

I’ve seen the doctor and have no medical issues there.

if you learnt to enjoy sex after not being fussed before, what’s your secret?

PIV doesn't make me orgasm, I am happy to do it for the intimacy and enjoy that aspect - as long as it's not someone banging away for ages - but I always make sure I orgasm beforehand. I don't think it's that unusual or something that needs fixing, it just us what it is and depends on how your clitoris is positioned or something.

I didn't like sex till I was about your age op

Turns out I just had shit sexual partners who were absolutely laughable in bed

Could this be it ?

All depends on what you call "enjoy" and what lengths you want to go through to please your partner if they still want PIV and not just oral sex.

I was in a relationship where things just didnt seem to "fit". I suspect she had an inverted uterus or suffered from vaginismus as over a period of 5 years we only really had PIV on about half a dozen occasions. We both loved oral sex & I didn't miss PIV (2 previous marriages & other short term flings afterwards meant I'd had plenty of it) so were happy just to use hands & tongues.

I would never want my partner to do anything they didnt enjoy or get pleasure from. I'd rather no sex than bad or unpleasurable sex.

Well I think you are approaching this from the point of view there is a right and wrong when it comes to enjoying sex. And I don't think this is the case.

Everyone is different. I don't particularly like oral sex but I like piv. The opposite of you. That doesn't make either of us right or wrong. It makes us individuals.

I think there is a lot of pressure these days to conform to perceived norms. I think to enjoy sex you need to forget about what other people do / enjoy and concentrate on what you and your partner enjoy/ want.

I thought sex was boring, didn't understand the fuss at all. Turns out I just didn't like sex with men!

I only started to enjoy PIV sex after i'd given birth, strangely enough.

I think things internally might have shifted a bit or maybe it's the way I was stitched up! I don't know, but sex in my 40s is the best ever.

I didn't start enjoying it until my 30's and particularly after having two children. This also coincided with me stopping any kind of hormonal contraception which I think dulled my sex drive. I track my cycle now and it's clear when I am about to ovulate as my sex drive is much higher. Hormones are powerful and hormonal contraception mucks them up.

I found sex repulsive all my life, married a very decent man three decades older and at 45
I'm not interested in learning to enjoy something so entirely repugnant.
No children, obviously.
Oh, and nobody would see anything "off "about me in a million years.
Guess it's called asexual.
😊

By being honest with my partner. He needs to be touching you frequently during penetration I'd you don't feel much from penetration, or do it in positions where he can stimulate you and penetrate at the same time, or you can use a vibrator at the same time. If there no clit stimulation many women won't feel much during vaginal penetrative sex.

Also being with a partner who wants you to feel good helps. If penetration isn't something you really enjoy he should be making sure you cum atleast once before penetration.

This one for me too

How’s it different.. apart from the piv obviously?

I'm the same as you op and I love sex.

PIV is fine and I want it as part of sex but I don't orgasm from it without other stimulation.

Oral, fingers and especially a bullet vibrator while penetration is going on.

Nothing wrong with us, it's just how our bodies are made.

Do you get turned on and want to feel intimate?

Sex did change and was better in terms of piv after having children, but still no orgasm from that alone.

Same for me.

Do you get aroused?

Do you have kids? I’ve enjoyed it more since having them.

Came off the pill.

It can have terrible effects on women’s ability to enjoy sex.

I never come from piv sex, but I really bloody enjoy it now. Probably more than sexual activity that does make me orgasm.

I see it as connection and intimacy rather than just sex. The emotional aspect of it switched it for me.

You likely are dating people who are bad in bed.

Well i never liked or enjoyed sex in my 20s in fact i hated it and wanted to be a nun.
For me it was what others would think of me.

But when i hit my 30s something changed i felt more me more confidence.
I didnt care what others thought gave up caring.
I am now a slag when on holidays and love it.

I need a bit of foreplay like most women, but I usually tell my partner when to stop so I can orgasm during sex. If it happens during foreplay I won't enjoy the sex as much.

I do feel attracted to him and like the idea of sex, just the reality always feels very underwhelming and I can’t wait for it to end.

Fortunately boyfriend finishes quickly, but the thought of rubbish sex for the rest of my life is depressing.

He’s good in bed from an oral perspective, easily the best man I’ve ever been with for that. I think maybe piv just doesn’t do it for me.

no kids yet, good to know it can improve after that!

Pleasing to see so many things I also agree with here.

Being touched clitorally while being penetrated ruins both for me. Everyone is different.

1 - aged 27 when I had a lover who spent longer on the whole sexual experience than my previous lovers - like, longer than 5-10 minutes
2 - aged 35 post vaginal birth - quite a significant change, actual vaginal pleasure as opposed to sensation
3 - aged 38 when dh had a vasectomy and I stopped hormonal contraception for good, found i did have a libido after all
4 - aged 49 when I discovered LUBE, a bullet vibrator, and managed to gave different orgasms
5 - aged 49 when I had sex with enough men I didn't give a shit about and therefore was happy to experiment and tell them what to try without emotional consequences.

Of all that lot, lube is by far the easiest to start with, and the most important. Men who feel upset if a woman doesn't gush fluid directed at the clitoris at the slightest touch (no, I know that's impossible) and media who make wanting to use lube seem somehow inadequate kept me from trying it for years. Don't be like me.

Why is this? Is this exclusive to vaginal births?