He has taken my spot!!

[feuergeist]

Lighthearted (although I will accept calls of LTB)

Long story short, we have a four seater corner sofa and a smaller matching two seater in our living room. For the last however many years we have had these, my husband has always been lying across the large one, stretched out across the whole thing, with me often sitting at the far end of it. Lately, i have made myself a lovely cozy space on the two seater by myself. Sat there for a few days peacefully, with one of the two coffee tables pulled up, always nice and cozy, clean and comfortable just for me. Now he has claimed that spot. I am livid. Not once in the 6-8 years we have had these sofas has he chosen that spot. The sofa feels almost new with the cushions still perfect. Have asked him why he is all of a sudden sitting there and told him I really want that space for me now, but no result.

Question is, AIBU to be so annoyed about it or do i have a point? I am silently seething as a talk about it hasn't helped. In the grand design of it, it's just a spot to sit in the living room, but come on!! And please, cheer me up with your stories of irrelevant things that drove you up the walls

My cat does this. No sardines and a hard stare

Make yourself another cosy spot. He can’t sit in both of them at the same time - leaving one for you. I would also put cayenne pepper in his boxers.

What a bastard. LTB is the only answer.

My boy cat also does this. His sister will choose a new spot and gets to enjoy it for two or three days, then suddenly he starts occupying it.

It's male dominance / marking his territory and I wouldn't put up with it.

Have asked him why he is all of a sudden sitting there and told him I really want that space for me now, but no result.

Don't let this go. Force him to explain himself.

Thanks for your responses so far. I notice a trend - maybe my husband was a cat in his former life...

I have thrown him quite a few dirty looks since posting but he is oblivious. Once i am finished with my work, I'll consider making a new cozy spot or alternatively just push him off of 'my' sofa.

Tell him to shift his arse back to his own spot.

Nip into his previously favoured space, stretch out and keep remarking how comfy it is, how wonderful it is to have so much space to stretch out, how grateful you are he no longer sits in it, etc, etc.

I'd just tell my husband to get out of my spot, end of story.

My husband did very similar. We used to watch TV together after putting the kids to bed. Suddenly he starts sitting where I normally sit. At first he would get up and say, here's your seat back. Then he stopped doing that, and I would perch in his 'spot' for a bit, but it would feel so weird and uncomfortable to me, I ended up just heading to bed to read my book. Maybe I am looking too deep into it, but to me it was him saying - I know its your spot, but I want it now, I don't care if it makes you uncomfortable, my comfort is more important than yours. That's how it made me feel anyway.

Perhaps he pissed himself on the bigger couch. I'd check the cushions before you claim it.

Otherwise, clean the cushions on the big sofa, put a beautiful throw or comfy blanket over it, reclaim your coffee table, have candles, a box of chocolates and a stash of wine there and even some crisps and nuts. He will be fuming 🤣

How very dare he! That was your spot, he never offered you his and now he's stolen yours because it's better than his. Maddening. You'll just have to get there before him.

Is he prone to marking spots like a tomcat? If so, I would be having strong words. So unattractive.

Is this a new thing? Fuck that. Send him back to where he came from - his own seat.

The minute he gets up, move over

Make two drinks, bring yours through and let him know his is in the kitchen.
When he gets up for it, bagsy your spot back.

If I leave my WFH chair for even one second, I have to place belongings on it to stop the cat claiming it. A bit like leaving your book on a sun lounger. Yesterday, she completely ignored the protocol and I had to spend the afternoon on a toddler chair.

Good shoutout - I had that idea yesterday when he asked for fried chicken. Drove out to our local and they were shut as they are on holiday. Had big plans of just putting his food at his old spot. As that didn't work out, I just made a big deal of reclaiming my spot until he moved (rather begrudgingly, i might add).

No possibility of getting there before him. I like my 8 hours and he is an insomniac... 😅

Update!! he has just gotten up to get himself something. Don't care what it is - I am reclaiming my spot!!

Sit on the back of the sofa and swat him on the face / miaow in his ear

This is like the sofa equivalent of a live parking thread and I am here for it... I hope you don't need a pee @feuergeist so you can settle in for the long haul. Can you send him out somewhere if you do need a pee, so you've time without him nicking the spot back?!

I appreciate the forethought. I quite literally ran upstairs to pee, change and got settled in.

She needs to get a rugby team to move him!

Has he said why he has started to do it when he has previously stretched out on the other sofa? I would be pissed off because it looks like he was happy for you to be perched on the end and now you have made yourself cosy he has wanted it for himself. I would make myself cosy on the big sofa and he even so much as looks in that direction I would say pick a fucking spot and stay in.

I am glad I'm not the only one that does this!

Make like a cat OP - wait for him to go to the loo, then pounce on your pre-warmed seat!

PS YABVVVU to make it sound like this was a parking thread...!

If he does it again I'd ask him is this his way of pissing to mark his territory? The cheek of him!
Glad you're back in your rightful spot 😁