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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He has taken my spot!!

65 replies

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 14:08

Lighthearted (although I will accept calls of LTB)

Long story short, we have a four seater corner sofa and a smaller matching two seater in our living room. For the last however many years we have had these, my husband has always been lying across the large one, stretched out across the whole thing, with me often sitting at the far end of it. Lately, i have made myself a lovely cozy space on the two seater by myself. Sat there for a few days peacefully, with one of the two coffee tables pulled up, always nice and cozy, clean and comfortable just for me. Now he has claimed that spot. I am livid. Not once in the 6-8 years we have had these sofas has he chosen that spot. The sofa feels almost new with the cushions still perfect. Have asked him why he is all of a sudden sitting there and told him I really want that space for me now, but no result.

Question is, AIBU to be so annoyed about it or do i have a point? I am silently seething as a talk about it hasn't helped. In the grand design of it, it's just a spot to sit in the living room, but come on!! And please, cheer me up with your stories of irrelevant things that drove you up the walls

OP posts:
Original poster
feuergeist · 22/08/2024 16:13

Thanks so much for everybody's votes. Happy to see that I am not being unreasonable.

So here is to the (not so) thrilling conclusion. He has come back and commented rather sullenly on how I have 'taken his space'. This obviously triggered 'the talk' about said space.

I tried to get to the bottom as to why he has just started using it. His response was 'dont you sometimes just want to move to a different space?' When I pointed out that he hasn't moved his arse for the last 8 years, so why now that I have claimed this space, he said he had no idea why (maybe it is some subconscious tomcat dominance issue as PP have suggested - I find that rather likely)

As I am a big fan of setting accurate expectations, I have told him that I am not happy with him having claimed this spot now that I have made myself at home there and told him that as long as I am in the living room, I expect this spot to be mine. I will make him move, should he be 'there first' and that I claim this spot from now until the end of time (including the blanket, pillows and cushions I have set up here)! Let's see how long this lasts. If there is a big massive blowout tomorrow because he has forgotten my totally reasonable demands, I'll let you all know.

For now, I am quite happily installed with my laptop, phone, ice cold drink, fresh fruit salad and breadsticks - clearly living the life! Thanks again for keeping me company through this! 😄

OP posts:
Original poster
feuergeist · 22/08/2024 16:17

PfishFood · 22/08/2024 16:05

PS YABVVVU to make it sound like this was a parking thread...!

Oh my goodness, while I am obsessively following each and every parking thread on here - it honestly didn't occur to me that my title could be misleading. My sincere apologies!!

OP posts:
SpringboksSocks · 22/08/2024 16:21

I had to re-read the op to see whether we were talking about a man or a cat.

Clownwithafrown · 22/08/2024 16:33

I am irrationally irritated on your behalf OP, the fucking cheek of him! Glad you have reclaimed your spot and made your boundaries clear on its future use. I hope for both our sakes he sticks to the rules, you because you deserve a comfy spot of your own and me because I fear I may blow a gasket if you have to post again to say he's nicked your sofa, although I am very stressed atm so accept that may be disproportionate Blush

Skyrainlight · 22/08/2024 16:49

I'd tell him to move out of my spot. He sounds weirdly territorial, does he always try to take what is yours?

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 22/08/2024 16:50

subconscious tomcat dominance issue as PP have suggested
This is absolutely the reason, and that's why he can't explain himself.

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 22/08/2024 16:53

Why hasn't anyone insisted on a diagram yet???

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 22/08/2024 16:53

Parking threads demand one.. Even the parking of bums.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/08/2024 16:56

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 16:13

Thanks so much for everybody's votes. Happy to see that I am not being unreasonable.

So here is to the (not so) thrilling conclusion. He has come back and commented rather sullenly on how I have 'taken his space'. This obviously triggered 'the talk' about said space.

I tried to get to the bottom as to why he has just started using it. His response was 'dont you sometimes just want to move to a different space?' When I pointed out that he hasn't moved his arse for the last 8 years, so why now that I have claimed this space, he said he had no idea why (maybe it is some subconscious tomcat dominance issue as PP have suggested - I find that rather likely)

As I am a big fan of setting accurate expectations, I have told him that I am not happy with him having claimed this spot now that I have made myself at home there and told him that as long as I am in the living room, I expect this spot to be mine. I will make him move, should he be 'there first' and that I claim this spot from now until the end of time (including the blanket, pillows and cushions I have set up here)! Let's see how long this lasts. If there is a big massive blowout tomorrow because he has forgotten my totally reasonable demands, I'll let you all know.

For now, I am quite happily installed with my laptop, phone, ice cold drink, fresh fruit salad and breadsticks - clearly living the life! Thanks again for keeping me company through this! 😄

I love you, @feuergeist! You are my new heroine.

Americano75 · 22/08/2024 17:15

Weirdly, I knew it was a couch and not a parking post, but then I watch a lot of Big Bang Theory so....

SprigatitoYouAndIKnow · 22/08/2024 17:22

You clearly need a water pistol to show him who is the sofa boss. Every time he nabs your spot, a quick squirt should help him understand you are displeased. That or run at him shouting pspspspsps like I do when a cat looks to be settling I to my flower beds to leave a gift.

Original poster
feuergeist · 23/08/2024 07:58

Americano75 · 22/08/2024 17:15

Weirdly, I knew it was a couch and not a parking post, but then I watch a lot of Big Bang Theory so....

I have never watched it. Maybe I should - it appears that it may be relevant for me 😅

OP posts:
Americano75 · 23/08/2024 08:10

feuergeist · 23/08/2024 07:58

I have never watched it. Maybe I should - it appears that it may be relevant for me 😅

Show quote history

The older I get, the more I sympathise with Sheldon.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 23/08/2024 08:22

We all have our own Sheldon spot in our house (4 of us)

Your dh was def being a Tom cat, whether he knows it or not. Well done you got standing up to him!

anyolddinosaur · 23/08/2024 08:37

You have to watch Big Bang Theory, with your husband. He will then start calling you Sheldon.

Perhaps he wanted you to sit on him?

Trinity65 · 23/08/2024 09:40

Ezekiela · 22/08/2024 14:28

My boy cat also does this. His sister will choose a new spot and gets to enjoy it for two or three days, then suddenly he starts occupying it.

It's male dominance / marking his territory and I wouldn't put up with it.

Have asked him why he is all of a sudden sitting there and told him I really want that space for me now, but no result.

Don't let this go. Force him to explain himself.

HA

Exactly like my girl and boy cats (not related but gel just fine)
Guaranteed the girl will find a new spot on start to enjoy it, then lo and behold along comes the boy who occupies it

Lurkingandlearning · 23/08/2024 10:00

I’m a little disappointed that you’ve settled this before I got the chance to recommend a wee she to avoid having to leave your spot undefended.

Original poster
feuergeist · 24/08/2024 09:39

another update on my rather successful claim...

I have not had to fight for my spot since ' the talk'. He was up much earlier than me and spent some time there but voluntarily vacated the spot when I got up.

In other news, I will try and start the big bang theory next week (more important to rewatch rings of power season 1 before the start of season 2 next week). From what I have heard, it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to discover that I am a Sheldon.

Thanks again to all of you for your comments!

OP posts:
anyolddinosaur · 24/08/2024 09:42

While I recommend the series anyway if pressed for time you could just watch

DifficultBloodyWoman · 24/08/2024 10:17

I knew it was about a seating spot!

Also a big bang theory fan.

Irridescantshimmmer · 24/08/2024 10:30

Buy him a dog bed
🤣

Niknakcake · 29/08/2024 07:20

I have a large corner sofa and there is always a battle for the corner between myself and my daughter. Son just lounges wherever he lands and somehow often managed to take up the entire thing (nobody really understands how). It’s become a comedy routine at home that if I’m sat in the corner and move my daughter steals the space and vice versa… sometimes the dog gets in on the action too.

InspectorDefect · 29/08/2024 07:23

Seriously though, it's a bit weird to suddenly do this, what if he decided to sleep on your side of the bed? It's a similar thing (to me anyway!)

Wrennyjenwren · 29/08/2024 07:28

Oh my god. I totally want to binge watch Big Bang Theory all over again.

CrossCuntry · 29/08/2024 07:50

@feuergeist - if the problem recurs with the Tom cat behaviour - the only option is to consider neutering.

I am pleased that for now you have your spot back! :-)