3 year old refusing lunch

[Argu]

My 3 year old does not want to eat the soup I have made for lunch, but is happy to eat the accompanying sandwich. Husband has told him he's not allowed to eat anything until he has had 3 spoons of his soup. 3 year old is crying as he's hungry but won't eat the soup. He's asking for other healthy stuff instead like fruit. I can't bear it but husband says we have to stay strong and push through, no other food until he has eaten his soup. Am I being too soft?

Let him eat something else… he is only 3 not 10!

No you're not being too soft. Annoys me to fuck when people want to overly control kids eating. Your child is a human and doesn't want to eat the soup which is fine, even better when he's willing to eat the sandwich!

I like the approach of parents cook/serve the food and kids decide how much and what they want to eat. Pointless getting into an argument/power struggle with a child over this.

Don’t make food into a battle ground it won’t help anyone

I could understand if he was crying for crisps/cake, but surely a sandwich and some fruit is a reasonably healthy lunch?

I'm team husband.

I think the adults should make the decision of what to serve, so the soup and sandwich, and then it’s the child’s decision what to eat so this time just the sandwich. A sandwich is a decent and healthy lunch; it’s not like he’s tantruming for biscuits. Your DH is making a conflict and drama where there doesn’t need to be one. Also, DC is far more likely to try the soup by just seeing you and DH enjoy it and with no pressure on him. He needs to back off or else he risks giving the poor child a complex.

Why an arbitrary 3 spoons? Does your husband eat food he doesn't want to?

This is how you get kids with weird food hang-ups. Stop it.

This!! Parents decide what and when, kids decide if and how much. I don’t think I’ve ever served any of my kids soup aged 3. What is your husband’s reasoning for the 3 spoonful thing? Horrible to think of a 3 year old distressed around food.

No-one's forcing me to eat someting I don't want to so why do it to your child?

Hopefully DS will throw his soup bowl over his overbearing and controlling dads head

@Argu

what kind of power tripping bellend is your DH??

FFS

It's not like your DS is refusing to eat anything other than chocolate.

ask bellend exactly what 3 spoons of soup is going to do, other than distress your son.

tell the control freak to fuck off & stop being such a nasty fucking bully

I think three spoonfuls is a reasonable middle ground: tasting new flavours and textures rather than instantly rejecting the unfamiliar is how children broaden their palates.

😆 this

No you're not being soft. Let the kid eat his sandwich, tell your dh to fuck off and eat his own soup

I think there's a half way compromise here. The meal is soup and sandwich. I think personally it's fine if he eats just the sandwich and leaves the soup. I would not offer him a replacement for the soup portion e.g I wouldn't go and make him beans on toast or something similar. Fruit for after is also fine. I wouldn't get rid of the soup, I'd keep it just in case he says he's hungry in the hour following the meal, he can eat it then.

It would be great if he took a taste because its sounds like he's just refusing it based on nothing other than the sight of it. So a taste would be good, he might actually like it. He's ate the sandwich isn't that enough for a 3 year old?

Why 3 spoonfuls? Does your DH have someone tell him how much food is the minimum level that is acceptable for him to eat? What is it about 3 that makes it acceptable when 2 isn't? Or is it about an attempt by your DH to show authority?

I give my DDs the food I cook (I don't cook different meals for anyone), and they can eat it or not.

If you'd given him the sandwich, some apple slices, and the soup together from the get go, he'd probably have been more likely to try the soup anyway. Now it's turned into a battle.

Tell your husband to chill. If your kid only wants the sandwich he should have that. At least he is eating.

I wouldn’t force him- he doesn’t like soup. My 3 year old doesn’t like meat, ramming it down her throat won’t help.
i wouldn’t give in to a request to ice cream but a sandwich or anything else, why not.

Your DH's attitude is both damaging and counter-productive.

@ComtesseDeSpair

being encouraged to try things is fine.

Being told he's not allowed to eat anything until he's eaten 3spoons of soup is NOT.

the child is upset & distressed (maybe he's coming down with something if this is unusual for him) this is not conducive to acquiring a broader palette.

Apart from all of the heavy handedness from your husband could you not just cut another slice of bread into strips and encourage him to dip in the soup? Or listen to him and give him some fruit?

Your DH is being harsh, 3 is so little and he's not refusing food entirely he just doesn't fancy the soup. Don't you feel like that as an adult? Sometimes I'll plan dinner but after a days work I won't fancy the cottage pie or whatever and will just have cheese/crackers/fruit.

I don't think 3 spoonfuls is unreasonable especially if DS is saying he's still hungry

Husband has agreed he doesn't have to eat the soup. 3 year old has eaten his sandwich, half a red pepper, and will eat cucumber and possibly some cheese too. He is normally a very good eater and definitely less picky than my husband!

The soup did not taste nice but I'm forcing myself to eat it and won't be making it again!

Your DH is ridiculous…glad he backed down

It’s bizarrely heavy handed and to what end?

offer the toddler a few cucumbers and a couple of tomatoes if he needs more veg 🙄

also make DH eat the soup as punishment for his bad parenting 😅