3 year old refusing lunch

[Argu]

My 3 year old does not want to eat the soup I have made for lunch, but is happy to eat the accompanying sandwich. Husband has told him he's not allowed to eat anything until he has had 3 spoons of his soup. 3 year old is crying as he's hungry but won't eat the soup. He's asking for other healthy stuff instead like fruit. I can't bear it but husband says we have to stay strong and push through, no other food until he has eaten his soup. Am I being too soft?

Remind you husband how much it would kill his appetite if someone five times his size bullied him into eating food he didn't fancy. Why not make your husband a recipe you know he hates and insist he finishes it?

As long as your child is eating from a healthy range of foods over the course of the week, I'd let him eat what he wants. And don't serve him soup if he dislikes it.

Your DH attitude is awful and potentially very damaging. Food should be offered and children can decide if to eat and how much. Forcing eating is terrible.

Your DH had the wrong attitude.

Child is offered soup and a sandwich. Child has 10 minutes to eat what they want. Remove what they haven't eaten. Between now and tea time they can have a piece of fruit.

I'm wondering what the three year old may have eaten since breakfast.

We never had nonsense/battles at mealtimes because they were matter of fact interludes.

Breakfast: toast, eggs/yoghurt/fruit
10.30 ish: fruit or cheese cubes
Lunch: usually a quick meal: ham, chicken, cheese, cherry toms, cu, Carrots, fruit, etc
3.30 ish: a biscuit, perhaps two crackers or breadstick or fruit
Tea: cottage pie, fish pie, salmon, chicken, spag bol, etc with veggies or salad, fruit or ice cream or jelly or Yoghurt, etc.
Before bed: milk and a biscuit
They don't need huge portions - a teaplate works.
No more than 10 minutes at the table but if they don't eat then it's fruit between meals and definitely no: crisps, chocolate, sweets, ice-cream, etc.

Why only 10 mins to eat? I'd have indigestion if I ate that quickly!

He's trying to get him to eat disgusting soup? That's ridiculous.

I should have been clearer. 10 minutes if there's little or no interest in the food. I never found there was much to be gained by prolonging the agony if they were kebbing o er it.

Ah got it, that makes sense!

This is as odd as the OP. No time to chat over meal times and having to hurry to eat your meals.

He's less picky than your husband? And you're having to force yourself to eat the soup?

Why is anyone trying to make a 3 year old eat this??

I would generally go along with the DH in as much as food is offered and they can eat or not as they see fit, but there won't be other stuff available.

But I wouldn't do this with a new recipe and certainly not one that didn't taste nice!

Your husband is being a massive dickhead to be frank

Yes perfectly said

I am in my 30s and I avoid soup. A sandwich + fruit is quite enough lunch for a 3 year old (and an adult tbh).

Your husband might want to read up on forcing children to eat and eating disorders in later life. What exactly does he think hes teaching a 3 year old other that what a poor parent he is

Your husband's methods are a fast-track to serious eating problems... ask me how I know.

Put out the food you've decided is the right type and quantity for your childs meal.

Give them a reasonable time frame to eat it.

Let them see YOU eating.

Otherwise, shut the fuck up about the food - so no 'go on try a bit' and also no 'well done, see it WAS nice really!' or any other bullshit.

Don't make one food conditional on eating another. If you've determined that for example:

Sandwich, soup, yoghurt, fruit;

Are a meal, then it doesnt matter what order those are consumed in.

This insistance that children eat all their main course or they can't have any pudding leads to stress over foods they don't like, and also leads to kids stuffing themselves to the point of discomfort and then that becoming their norm, in order to get to the bit of the meal they actually like.

I hate hearing parents controlling around food, I was forced to eat food on more than one occasion as a child and I dont think its a coincidence that ive had a lifetime of food issues.

I grew up being told to clear my plate too which as an adult, is such a bizarre thing to do but it also makes me overeat. Its completely illogical.

I so agree with this. Is your husband trying to set your child up for a lifetime of eating disorders? What's wrong with just eating a sandwich? And it's got to be a bonus if a child is asking for fruit rather than chocolate!

DS has since eaten a banana for snack and a pea and tomato risotto with prawns for dinner. He's generally a good eater. I will take on board all your comments for the future. Thank you.

This! What the actual fuck, the kid is 3 and willing to eat a sandwich, you are winning.

10 minutes ! What happened to sitting enjoying a meal together?
I understand taking away what's not eaten and no more until next meal but 10 minutes is not long enough

I was a very fussy child and still remember being force fed and made to eat things i hated 60 years later ! 60 years battling my weight and other insecurities.
One of mine was very fussy but because of my experiences I was very laid back and as an adult she eats everything and is fabulous .

I have a 2.5 year old and it's not unusual for her to refuse part of a meal. Frustrating as it is I try to just ignore and let her eat what of the meal she wants.
So the other day dinner was a bacon pasta dish and she had a yogurt with it. She refused to touch the pasta (pasta is always a bit hit and miss) and just ate the yogurt. She didn't ask for anything else but if she had then she wouldn't have got it as I don't make an alternative. But I always make sure there is a part of the meal I know she likes hence the yogurt.
Todays dinner was chicken curry and rice- I know she isn't that keen on the chicken but I had leftover Dahl I had made in the week that she loves so I gave her a portion of that too, she ate Dahl, rice and naan bread, tried a little bit of the chicken.
Doing it this way she has definitely improved with trying things and mealtimes are generally enjoyable.

When you've got a child who is a really good eater (which it sounds like your son is), you want to do everything you can to continue that good relationship with food. Not create battles over it when there's really no need.

And your DH needs to realise that even a really great eater can have things they just don't like. Even adults who would describe themselves as eating anything will often have a couple of things they aren't keen on and wouldn't choose to eat unless they were in a situation where they felt they had to due to manners.

My kids have never liked soup. I don't eat soup, particularly soup that doesn't taste nice.

Forcing a 3yo to eat it is awful. I'm glad he backed down but I'd be pissed off.

Your husband needs to stop doing this or your child will develop issues around food. Your child eats way better than any 3 year old I know. Look online for research. It's not the 70s.