To feel disappointed that my workmates forgot my birthday?

[Thelizzardqueen]

For peoples birthday in our team we all pitch in to decorate their desk with a banner, a balloon, a cake, a card and a present. We also all order a Nando’s or pizza in the afternoon and eat lunch together. I’ve been doing this all year for all my teammates birthdays.. but it hasn’t been done for mine. I assume they have just forgotten.

It’s not really a big deal, I’m not crying about it. I just feel a little bit disappointed that this has been done for everyone except me, and I’ve been spending money on people and they haven’t returned the gesture. I don’t give to receive, I don’t mind contributing, it’s not as if it’s a lot of money. Also, I’m a big girl, I don’t need a fuss being made over me for my birthday. But I still do feel a little pang of sadness that I’ve been forgotten about 😂 I’m sure everyone here will tell me to get over myself, which is fine. But would this bother anyone at all even a little bit?

How do you know when it’s your colleagues birthdays? Did they know it was yours?

Happy birthday!

Is it you that usually organises this for everyone else?

This is the problem when one person always does it, they tend to get forgotten about! We use a birthday buddy system, so each person is responsible for one other team members birthday celebrations

Who organises team birthdays where you work?

My experience is there is always a key organizer with a list of birthdays. If you aren't on their list, it won't happen.

Happy birthday!! 🎂 How do you know it's each others birthday? Were you on the calendar? It's not too late to get some cakes in for this afternoon or invite everyone out to nandos?

It’s on a calendar that we check at the start of each month to see who’s birthday is that month.

and thank you! ☺️

🎂 Happy birthday.

Get some cakes this afternoon and share with colleagues, it's not nice they forgot but it doesn't mean you shouldn't get to celebrate 😀

No, it is one of the women who I work with who accesses the calendar and then sends an email to us to say “it’s x’s birthday this month, what shall we get them?” Etc. we all have a list of people’s birthdays though so that we don’t forget the persons who usually organises it

If yours is on the calendar, then yes I’d think it wasn’t nice to skip you! Sorry you had that

I’ve been doing this all year for all my teammates birthdays.

It sounds like this is why it didn't happen for you - because it sounds like no-one else is in the habit of doing it and it likely wouldn't have occurred to them to check as someone else (you) typically handles this stuff.

Time to be assertive. Say "so are we getting Nandos for my birthday today?" I bet that that will trigger a rush of activity and everyone will fall backwards over themselves to apologise for forgetting and try to make things right.

Or you could just sit and feel rubbish.

People are human. I doubt it's personal. Has the woman that usually sorts it been away or particularly stressed?

I do understand the pang. I should of put earlier is it JUST you that does most of the organising or is it a joint effort?
If it's normally you that buys the banner etc then it will have probably just not been thought of by the others because they don't usually organise anything. They just follow on.
Doubt it's personal, just thoughtless.

Sorry op, just x posted with you & others.

It is a bit crap if it happens. You are caught in a cleft stick. Say something and people will be embarrassed. Say nothing and it will happen again.

Happened every year for me: early January birthday, often the first working day back after Christmas. Every year I would bring in cakes, fruit & nuts (for the people starting new year diets). Every year I would see the look of horror on the office manager's face when she realised my birthday had been overlooked on the birthday calendar. Every year I would see a card being shunted round the office to get signed.

Became a bit of a tradition in the end.

Happy birthday! 🎂I hope you have something lovely to do this evening to celebrate.

It's possible that being just before a Bank Holiday means things got a bit chaotic with people's holidays and stuff, but it's still shit that they missed your birthday.

Maybe ask "Is it Pizza Express or are we doing Nando's for my birthday lunch today?" and asume it's going ahead as normal.

Happy birthday! That's really sad and I would find it upsetting. Have you said to anyone in the office today that it's your birthday?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎂 🥳

Similar Situ here. I got forgotten last year and have started the next round already and waiting to see if I get remembered this year. If I don’t I’ll withdraw from putting any more money in

Sorry this happened to you!
It happened to me once, I think because I have a July birthday and a lot of people were on holiday and the people who were there weren't the usual organisers! They realised halfway through the day and scrambled together a card and cake 😂
I didn't really mind because I knew it wasn't personal but like you say it's annoying when you've spent money on everyone else.
You can either be brave and mention it or just hope someone realises.
Maybe suggest something different for next year - in my work we have always done birthday person brings cake

Happy birthday 🥳 , hope once you finish work
You treat yourself to something nice and have a lovely day, am
Sure they will feel bad once they realise 🎂

I understand there is a feint glow from people remembering your birthday but the pain of no one remembering is surely not worth it. If you want people to celebrate your birthday then just say it - IT'S MY BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEK!
Be loud. It gets the same result. Unless they are pricks that just forget but then you know they are pricks rather than justifying why they have forgotten.

I would do as a pp has suggested and say so shall we get a Nando’s today?

they need to realise it’s your bday otherwise you’ll be feeling resentful and they’ll be none the wiser that they’ve left you out

You say it’s not a lot of money but are you sure it’s not adding up?

There must be loads of birthdays and Nando’s isn’t cheap, it’s at least £10 for a main and side.

I would just opt out.

Happy birthday!

I would feel a bit sad too, but I agree with PPs that I don’t think it was personal. It’s maybe past lunch but if not, I’d ask if we were going to Nando’s or getting pizza - may as well enjoy something of it!