To feel disappointed that my workmates forgot my birthday?

[Thelizzardqueen]

For peoples birthday in our team we all pitch in to decorate their desk with a banner, a balloon, a cake, a card and a present. We also all order a Nando’s or pizza in the afternoon and eat lunch together. I’ve been doing this all year for all my teammates birthdays.. but it hasn’t been done for mine. I assume they have just forgotten.

It’s not really a big deal, I’m not crying about it. I just feel a little bit disappointed that this has been done for everyone except me, and I’ve been spending money on people and they haven’t returned the gesture. I don’t give to receive, I don’t mind contributing, it’s not as if it’s a lot of money. Also, I’m a big girl, I don’t need a fuss being made over me for my birthday. But I still do feel a little pang of sadness that I’ve been forgotten about 😂 I’m sure everyone here will tell me to get over myself, which is fine. But would this bother anyone at all even a little bit?

Happy Birthday OP. It is shitty that they forgot and I would be feel pretty upset to be honest. Especially after contributing all year to everyone else's. Personally, for what it's worth, I hate these organised office birthdays, secret santas etc. Someone always gets the shit end of the stick or forgotten, or someone ends up being pissed off.

I've always thought it's a better idea (if there really has to be organised fun) for the whole team to go out every couple of months for lunch, or just have an office pizza day or something.

I’d be disappointed, and I’d say so too. If they’re embarrassed- good, they shouldn’t have forgotten you!

That's pretty rubbish. I'd be sad.

I'd be upset too

Although I doubt it's anything personal, it does sting

This happened to me years ago. Mid morning I dropped a ‘anyone doing anything nice this weekend?’ And obviously they asked in return so I said ‘I’m going xy for my birthday’ cue panicked looks and emergency trip to tescos. We are all still friends years on even tho we no longer work together and don’t bother with birthdays now but they all still make up for mine 😝😝😝

I'm the opposite. I like to get through the day with as little fuss as possible and colleagues making "a thing" of it would make me cringe. However everybody's different and I'm sorry you felt forgotten. I'm sure someone will realise it's been overlooked soon (many on holiday etc) and will try to celebrate another day. 🎂

Sorry this happened to you, Happy Birthday! I’m sure it wasn’t personal but it’s normal to be a deflated about it.
I had the same thing happen when I left to adopt my son. During the years I’d worked there I’d contributed to the usual baby showers etc but when I left to adopt our son there was nothing. A few of my immediate colleagues came to see us a few months later and brought a card and a gift voucher but it was incredibly hurtful at the time. Mind you even my own mum was worse by not giving us a congratulations card!

Did they remember in the end?

Yes, I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want to make them feel bad. But on Friday they suddenly remembered and apologised. Today one of them has brought in a cake for me that they baked themselves! 😄

I would be gutted. And I would mention it. “How was your weekend Lizzard Queen?”. “Well it was my birthday on (insert day) so we went out for a meal to celebrate”.

Happy birthday this is quite in excusable. You need to take this up with Hr your boss should have made sure people were aware and decorated etc.

this happened to me years ago worked in a busy shop always had a small whip round for everyones birthday, i was upset all shift didnt say a word. it was a friday.over the weekend someone messaged me to say what day is your birthday i replied it was last friday.they were shocked, went in work on the monday litre my favourite spirts as extra for forgetting plus usual present, they never forgot again

That happened to me one time. I'd worked at a place for 6 years, we always mark big birthdays. I turned 30 and nothing for me! I came home from holiday to a half dead plant, as they realised they'd forgottenand sent a plant to my address! Mistakes happen.

We have a birthday thing in work and almost forgot the boss one time. Felt terrible, Mad dash to the shops to pick stuff up. Hoping she didn't notice. Glad they got there in the end OP.

Sounds like the one with the cake has redeemed herself but where is the nandos meal and did they decorate your desk? If they don't do it you will feel resentful next time it's someone else's bday and they get the usual treatment. I would explain this to them :-)

I understand and don't think your being unreasonable x

I had this when I left my last job. For all other leavers we got a donation, I sorted gifts, I always made handmade scrabble frames which everyone would contribute a word too which was always well received (pic attached)

They also got a monetary gift from the doctors (I worked at a doc surgery that had two sites) depending how long someone had been there (I had been there 5) and the card would go between both surgeries

When I left I got a card with a handful of signatures! I am glad I was out of there. I ripped it up and in the bin it went!

this could be classed as workplace bullying at the most extreme as it’s done for everyone not you. Check in with the person that normally organises that they are ok and not overwhelmed with life.

I’m sorry about that - and happy birthday!

sadly, the person who is the main organiser usually gets forgotten. Some people are naturally way more thoughtful and others are just forgetful with frantic lives, your little thoughts go a long way helping them I’m sure. I don’t think (hope) there’s many people that are takers with no thought of others.

i’d go all out and bring in cakes etc and celebrate as usual, then either carry on and forget it all, or play it at a lower key for others moving forward.

It's hardly workplace bullying to accidentally forget someone's birthday.

WOOHOO! WA-HEYY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! Take some comfort in the fact that, total strangers, who've never met you, care enough to want to send their love to you, on your birthday!!! * it IS a big deal - you've got to wait 365 days for the next one! Shame on your workmates.

My birthday is 1st Jan, and in more than one work place I’ve been asked when my birthday is as they’re writing them all on the calendar the first week back after Christmas, and then been met with the horrified, panicked looks as they realise mine has already passed. Then someone goes on a mad dash to Tesco and a cake appears with whoever they manage to round up in the office that day!

I think I’m probably an anomaly, but I appreciate some birthdays (especially ones like mine) get forgotten because people are only human and I’d rather them not bother if it’s all going to be rushed and last minute and make me feel awkward and them better about forgetting.

They'll notice at some point then. I hope you had a lovely birthday