Secret eating

[Buttondrawer]

Curious how common this is? I go into the office about once a week and almost always get a secret unhealthy snack for the train home. My dh and I try to eat healthily most of the time, but we're not crazily strict. I think there's something about the freedom of a treat that only I know about. Is this messed up or totally normal 😁? It's definitely gluttonous, because I get home to a meal he's made, but I do always manage to finish that too... 🙈

Messed up.

A snack for the way home is no problem at all.

A snack on the way home is fine.
Bur why the secrecy?

In what way is it secret?? I wouldn’t go home and tell my DP about a snack I had on the train, I don’t think that’s unusual is it?

What??

Sounds bizarre to me.

Secret eating is buying a stash to hide and consume on your own and then hiding the wrappers under other stuff in the bin.
I speak from experience. It is not a happy thing.

I don't know! The secrecy is definitely part of the appeal. My guess is that it's just a small bit of independence. I was single for a long time and it's happened more since becoming a Mum. So I guess it's something that's just for me?? My feeling is that it's probably an acceptable vice as it is, but something I wouldn't want to snowball!

Secret eating? Why is it a secret? Are you hiding it from someone? Have you an eating disorder?

What you describe is fairly normal unless your 'snack' is like my version of a secret snack. Aka a large big mac meal and a mcflurry.

A snack is not a vice. You are viewing food (even if not the best type of food), so negatively. Vice , gluttonous for having a snack and then dinner, something you have to hide etc.

This is not normal or healthy.

Don't get me wrong, no one is expecting you to give a list of everything you eat during the day to anyone, but it's not something you should feel you have to hide. This is where the issue lies. Why do you feel that?

The control and something for yourself and autonomy are still there , regardless . Even more so if you take ownership of it and do it unapologetically. So why the need to hide?

The snack is fine.

The secrecy is potentially unhealthy.

What would happen if you just bought the snack, took it home, ate it in front of your DP?

Weird. You both seem to have an unhealthy relationship with food.

I’m the same - I enjoy secret snacking, but I know it’s disordered and unhealthy, so I’m trying to stop. At the moment I’m logging everything on the My Fitness Pal app as I’m trying to lose a couple of stone and get to a healthy BMI, but the act of logging everything feels disordered too. I wouldn’t want either of my teen children to see it as normal.

I do this as well OP, and you're right, the secrecy is part of the appeal. It's having something that's mine, nobody else's, and noone can even whinge at me that they didn't have any because they don't know about it.

Which is daft, because DP really isn't going to give a shit that I had a twirl and a cam of coke on the way home.

I also go a step further. I have a secret day off every year. I leave for work as normal, but unbeknown to DP and DD I have a day's annual leave booked. I go for a long walk, then buy a book from Waterstones, and then sit in the pub all afternoon and read it,heading home in time for my usual arrival time.

It's usually just before Christmas, I use it to let my introvert batteries recharge before the onslaught of family time.

Mumsnet will no doubt leap to tell you that this is ‘grim’ or ‘bizarre’ or that you must have an eating disorder, but in the real world, I suspect this is something that’s actually really, really common - a classic ‘small guilty pleasure’ kind of indulgence.

Basically, if it’s along the lines of a packet of Doritos or a bar of Dairy Milk, fine. I wouldn’t stress about it. Carry on enjoying your secret daily treat without judgement.

Obviously more of an issue if it’s a KFC Family Bucket or an entire roast pig

Having a snack after your days work or education is totally normal. Some people like eating when travelling. I can't eat on the go and enjoy it. I used to binge eat horrifically on the way home from school and work and had really bad ED. My secret eating was taking over my life. So I can't really eat alone in a safe way.
I don't think you've anything to worry about.

I have a history of eating disorders so am currently making myself consciously mention ALL the food I've had that might be 'secret' eating so to break the shame / values shit I have entrenched in my psyche.

Eg "couldn't be arsed with healthy dinner tonight so I've had 3 slices of bread and butter and some Weetabix. Feel a bit crappy now, wonder why?!" Whereas normally I'd hide that and it would start the spiral again.

Surprisingly (!) DH (of course) doesn't give a rats arse what I eat (I am a healthy weight) so it shows me it really ain't the big deal I think it is!

Which in turn, helps to stop the spiral.

So don't keep it "secret" is my advice, there's no need and that itself is odd. Eating crappy food because you can / are tired / want to, is not.

Yes but not every day. If I need to fill the car up on my way home, I buy a can of Red Bull & a packet of Salt & Vinegar McCoys.

I also have snacks I keep secret from MyFitnessPal 🤣

What makes it a secret? Do you make a point to pretend you’ve eaten healthily all day but you haven’t?
If I have a chocolate biscuit during the work day I don’t report back to DH because it’s such a random detail of the day, but I wouldn’t say I’ve kept it a secret.

I think it depends on the extent, secret eating is a problem but I can’t see any issue with having a bar of chocolate on the way home, even every day, and I wouldn’t keep that a secret I just probably wouldn’t think to even mention it. If you were having a family size bag of crisps l, a sharing bag of Revels and a sharing bag of Haribo on the way home every day though obviously that’s different.

I have a secret stash of snacks but only because if I leave them out DH eats them so quick, there is nothing left by the time I want to eat them 😁

It's not a vice at all. You're having something that is accompanied by 'Mummmmmy, I want some' or 'Should you be having that?', 'Where's mine?'.

I stash mine in my car, I eat them on my way home when I’m really tired, stressed and need that pick me up. By the time I get home my sugars are up and I’m in a better mood than if I hadn’t had them! But I know my hubby wouldn’t approve. ( what he doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?)
But also. If they’re in the house, I don’t get any!

Voted YABU as that’s not what secret eating is. That’s just ‘eating a snack and being weird about it’