(Much) younger sibling

[Happiestwhen]

I am 18 years older than my sister. She is now 20. She has always been spoilt since she was a child and has a very selfish attitude to life. She's completely self- absorbed and thinks the world revolves around her. She has no regard for what anyone else wants or needs. She doesn't buy birthday cards or presents for anyone, not even her parents let alone myself and my dc. No Christmas presents, nothing. All along I've thought she'd grow out of it and learn some regard for others so I've always given her money in a card for birthday/Christmas. But this has been going on years and nothing is changing. Aibu to not gift her anything going forward? I feel as I'm older it's probably expected and my parents might feel I'm being petty. But she's earning her own money now and I feel she should start paying her own way. She gives nothing towards rent , food or bills either.

Our parents would have always bought the cards and gifts for her to give though. Now that she's an adult they do tell her that a birthday is coming up but she still won't go out and get anything off her own back. So she's either still stuck in child mode or she doesn't give a toss (I think it's the latter )

Presents stop @ 18 x

Oh get a grip, she's 20 and she doesn't have to buy anyone anything. It doesn't make her inconsiderate and if your mum has an issue with no card that's between them, why are you sticking your nose into their business? You seem to really dislike her

She’s not inconsiderate if she expects others to put in no more effort than she does. If she doesn’t expect anything then it’s fair enough not to impose your standards on her. Otherwise she needs to wise up.

So she did give you birthday cards when she was little? If she has grown up to think about others, as well as herself, at birthdays and Christmas, then maybe she is just inconsiderate. Especially regarding you children.

I might add, my own children have only one aunt. She has never, apart from a card when each was born, never sent any birthday/Christmas cards/presents for my children. She has struggled with infertility from since before they were born and has no children herself. She is lovely, not inconsiderate at all and gets a completely free pass from me for determinedly ignoring my children. I think it's just been too painful to acknowledge their birthdays and such. This isn't your sister though.

Chichimcgee of course my Mum isn't going to tell her that she expects a card ffs. She should be doing it off her own back, put a bit of thought into her dm birthday instead of thinking the world revolves around her. If we all stopped buying for her do you think she'd be ok with that? Get a grip
I didn't ask for your opinion on her or me. I asked aibu to not gift her going forward.