Terrified of daughter going to festival

[dreamer24]

I'm a very anxious person in general and even more so as a mother so I'm aware this might be excessive to some, but my DD (just turned 18) is going to her first festival this week and I'm really anxious. She's going with a large group of friends (mixed sex), and she's generally a really sensible girl, but I can't help but feel sick with anxiety.

Are there any tips I can give her to keep her safer? Any tips from other parents of teens for how not to worry myself sick and lose sleep every night this week? 😞

I went to Glastonbury when I was 18. First thing, do not let her know you’re worried. Expect no contact as phone signal usually awful, and phone battery limited. Keep yourself busy, and trust her. Sounds like she’s sensible but remind her of not taking drinks from strangers or leaving drinks unattended, drinking water and eating, don’t take anything she isn’t prepared to lose, and honestly, drugs will be around, so do talk about that rather than ignore it.

Get her a water bottle she can refill, tell her to make back-up meeting plans with her friends in case they all lose phone signal, and make clear you trust her and that it’s her festival at her own pace that matters: if she wants to go to bed, no shame, go to bed! (I went to many festivals from age 15, I was fine as were all my friends.)

Thanks for your replies. I've not let her see my anxiety, I'm trying my best to be breezy and excited but underneath I'm panicking 😢

She has life 360 on her phone so if the worst happened I'd at least know where she was (at least approx).

She knows about not accepting drinks from anyone and her friends are (mostly) very sensible. One or two of the lads aren't but she does tend to put them in their place a bit so I'm hoping she keeps that wise head on.

Parenting teens is just awful, much rather parent a toddler any day, at least you know where they are even if they're causing mayhem 😂

Is it Reading/Leeds?
I’m volunteering at Reading; they have set a system of AIRHubs (assistance, information and response) which are based in the campsites and are there to provide support to young people (the demographic is very young), a place to chill, get help, or just have a quiet few moments. We also have lots of toilet paper!
On the one hand, a lot happens at festivals that really shocks me (I work in a school!), but Reading and Leeds have put a lot of effort into making the festivals as safe a possible and to make sure there are lots of people there to provide help if needed. I think the biggest thing that people under estimate is how exhausting festivals are; five days of not much sleep, rubbish food and lots of people all the time. The phone signal at Reading is good and there’s lots of charging points, so she should be able to keep in touch.
And tell her and her friends to use W3W to share meeting points!

But very likely she’ll run out of phone battery or switch it off to preserve battery, so don’t panic if you can’t see her. I assume she has fully consented to being tracked. She’s not a teen, she’s an adult!

Is it the leeds festival?
My Grandson went last year.. and he's going this year ( just turned 19 and Aspergers).
They only go for one day and not an overnight.
It's hard not to worry.
We just say " we trust you.. please don't betray our trust".
Have fun and be safe.
Obviously we've had the talks of drink/ drugs etc.

Don't double drop.

I was nervous about dd going to Reading last year at 17. It wasn’t drugs that worried me as she doesn’t do them (she has health anxiety) but I was worried about how she’d cope with the whole experience as she’s not great in pressurised circumstances. Anyway, she had an absolute ball and looked like a hedge monkey when she emerged four days later.

I think there are things to consider that can be reassuring. Eg, there are lots of adults around, people who would help a teen in distress. There are first aiders on site, security dogs and drones.
Generally, they spend a lot of time waiting for bands and not wanting to lose their position in enclosures . Drinks are extortionately priced.
Phone reception is nearly always awful. Power banks are very useful (mine takes three!)
I ask mine to try and contact me when she’s back at the tent and in the morning if she can, though it’s not always easy for them.
I encourage mine to have what 3 words on their phones , as well as ensuring that my emergency details are accessible on the emergency screen on the phone .
It’s not a light thought but I found an unconscious teen last year whose friends dispersed fearful of consequences when they saw police arriving. Because her phone was locked , and she had no emergency screen set up, it was impossible to know her name or obviously her parents contact details etc. Or indeed if she had any medical issues (she didn’t , it was alcohol and drugs).
Eating is important, so take good filling snacks as food is so SO expensive.
Basic first aid supplies, paracetamol, ibuprofen, rehydration sachets, plasters are useful.

I started going to Reading from age 17 for a good few years, loved it. Honestly she’ll be fine. The group of friends will no doubt look after each other, arrange to meet in agreed places, not leave one person on their own, etc. Agree, a conversation about drugs might put your mind at rest.

@Peonies12
Yes of course she's consented, she had to upload the app to her phone to allow it.

Sorry?

Yes it's Leeds.

Thanks for all the helpful advice, really appreciate it. It's helped to put my mind at rest a little.

Tell her to bring layers- we are just back from Electric Picnic and it is always much colder at night than you'd expect. A hoody that you can wear in bed if needed is handy

The stewards and security are usually very helpful - if she feels worried or lost she should ask for help. Or an older woman. I am 40s and wouldn't mind helping someone at all.

Battery pack so she can charge up her phone. Or there will probably be charging points.

She won't get much sleep at night. I use earplugs and I also try to get a nap during the day. It is exhausting, but in a really fun way.

pick a meeting point with her friends... eg if we get separated we will meet at the "coca cola tent"

Hand gel and tissues! And a water bottle she can refill. Keep hydrated

She will probably come home filthy, knackered and delighted.

You will be knackered too! Try to do something enjoyable to distract yourself.

Get him to change his screensaver to display a contact number in case he loses the phone. If he's at Leedsfest Festival Angels run a café - its £9 for a thermal mug with unlimited tea & coffee throughout the festival - £7 if you bring your own reusable mug. There's also biscuits and somewhere to sit, and they will give you hot water for pot noodles or porridge etc. food is really pricey so this is an absolute godsend! It's open 24/7.

No you need to deal with your anxiety first but advising to not take ransom drugs just because it is a festival may help

So sorry - she!

Hope she has a fab time!

I've suggested to her she puts W3W on her phone, but she's said all her friends and her (all 9 of them) have life 360 on their phones and track each other - so she thinks that will suffice.

This is going to sound very odd but one of the ‘tips’ I got from a very street-wise friend of my daughter was that if, worst case scenario, you are tempted/pressured into trying drugs, just take half the amount. If you get a bad reaction then hopefully half the amount will not do as much damage. Obviously we would all caution against and hope there are no drugs involved at all but if they are around and they are tempted this advice might just stick.
My DD did Reading aged 17 and had a ball, didn’t get involved with any drugs and came back in one piece.

@Peonies12 - I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let your child know you are going to be worried. It’s perfectly normal to be worried about your child’s first festival and I think knowing that someone is concerned about them makes them think about their potentially risky behaviour and might help keep them safe.

Oh bless you, I was in exactly the same position last year when my DD went to her first one when she was 17. She was with a big bunch of friends and she is a sensible girl, responsible, doesn't do drugs, etc... but I was still worried. She was absolutely fine and had the time of her life. She was literally buzzing when she came home. I second pretty much what everyone else has said and the advice others have given. I had Life 360 but her phone ran out of battery towards the end of her time there, despite having power packs with her, so I had no choice but to trust she was okay. Like someone else said, there are plenty of 'older adults' around that would help her if she needed anything, and my DD said everyone was so friendly. There are first aid tents etc but just make sure she is well prepared for and has everything she needs and she will be fine. Definitely get her and her friends to have a meeting place in case they lose one another. Something that my DD and her friends did straight away when they first got there. They all looked out for each other and made sure they knew where each other was and that no-one was left alone and they were at least always in pairs. My DD is going off again on Thursday for the second year at this particular festival and she is so excited. I know its hard not to worry but she will be fine and have a fabulous time i'm sure. But I do know how you feel xx

Network will likely be shit at best so don't rely on tracking. Make sure she has battery packs and can contact you to get out early on the last night. Reading and Leeds can get spicy.

@Lulubellamozarella
thank you for such a lovely and thoughtful post. I wonder if our DDs are going to the same one!

2 power banks, ideally.

Write your phone number down on a piece of paper in case she mislays phone.

Safety in numbers/stick with your friends advice and advise them to choose a landmark to meet at should they become separated.

My eldest was 16 when he went to his first festival, I worried but he had a great time. He couldn’t locate his tent one night but some lads he didn’t know at all let him sleep in theirs. Generally, people are good and look out for one another. She will be fine.