Terrified of daughter going to festival

[dreamer24]

I'm a very anxious person in general and even more so as a mother so I'm aware this might be excessive to some, but my DD (just turned 18) is going to her first festival this week and I'm really anxious. She's going with a large group of friends (mixed sex), and she's generally a really sensible girl, but I can't help but feel sick with anxiety.

Are there any tips I can give her to keep her safer? Any tips from other parents of teens for how not to worry myself sick and lose sleep every night this week? 😞

This is actually something really important, have a contingency plan in case of phone loss/ theft. so a bank card as well as applepay or whatever, and insurance! My adult daughter was recently at a European festival where so many phones were stolen . Lots of people left with no access to cash etc, they had a nightmare. I haven’t seen it as such a big issue at uk festivals but better safe than sorry.

By 18 I had been to several Festivals with Friends. My first was Leeds at 16, poor DM was a ball of anxiety but also understood I needed to experience these things..

I remember calling her after I'd seen my favourite Band headlining, squished right at the front between thousands of other fans and my bestest friends - I literally screamed down the Phone "Thank you SO much for letting Me come, Mum!" It was the best time ever. She'll be fine, these Festivals are bonkers but absolutely brilliant

She'll be OK @dreamer24 Only natural for you to panic, you're her mama - and she's your little girl!

Wait til she decides to backpack (when she is 19,) across Europe. All the way to Russia! 😁 I was an utter wreck for those 2 weeks when my daughter did it during the second year of uni! DH was like 'meh she's OK!' He loves her as much as I do, he just doesn't worry or panic until there's a reason to.

She went across quite a few 'dead zones' for her mobile phone, (like in the mountains,) and the phone died a number of times - and so there were a number of times I couldn't get hold of her! I didn't ring her constantly, but I did message her a couple of times a day.

A few times, she didn't answer my message, so about 3-4 hours later, I would ring her, and if I got no response/her phone didn't ring, I would freak out! Too much I know! 😬 I was just panicking! I was sooooooo glad when she set foot on UK soil again!!!!

Seriously! Your DD will be fine. Bless you for caring. She's lucky to have you as a mother. 😍

oh, p.s. the next time my DD went somewhere abroad with friends (6 months later,) I was a lot more chilled. Only contacted her ONCE in a week. 😆

@PeachRose1986

Write your phone number down on a piece of paper in case she mislays phone.

Safety in numbers/stick with your friends advice and advise them to choose a landmark to meet at should they become separated.

Excellent advice!

Sage wisdom right there 🤣

If shes going to take drugs take drugs from trusted sources. Not randomers at a festival. Very important

I think it's a drugs thing

In case that she hasn't done that already, the festival probably has a map of the grounds somewhere; with info on where the first aid and contact points are and everything else.
I would look that up beforehand and try to remember important locations or be oldschool and print it out.

You can also download google maps for specific areas for offline use, and beforehand specify for which area. It can help to have some "offline" material with you, phone numbers, important addresses, any alternative ideas about how to get home in case someone wants to leave earlier; as pp said, the network might be heavily used, even with additional mobile points set up.

You don't want to start googling the train connections on a site with thousands of people; have this or other useful information already downloaded or in notes.

Sometimes festival are interrupted due to weather or other reasons and people are sent home early, or someone is overwhelmed from everything and just wants to leave. I hope it won't be the case for your daughter but it's a good backup to have the information ready.

Even better, get her to learn your number. I had to learn dh's as I never charge my phone.

Oh my goodness @Zow I'd have been beside myself with worry in that situation!! Bless you. I'd have been on the next plane out 😂

So glad your daughter had a great time though. I do know I need to work on my anxiety about her spreading her wings but it is just so much easier said than done 😬

Thanks for your reply

I think there are a few this coming weekend. DD is going to Shambala.
No matter which one your DD is going to she will have a fab time. Mine came home last year so happy, buzzing, excited, grubby and knackered!!! 😂😂 She can’t wait to do it all over again. Try and relax and think of all the fun she is having than worrying. It’s hard because my anxiety was bonkers last year but I did my best to stay busy. Was such a relief when she came home in a blissful haze 😂xx

She’s saying don’t double dose your drugs. Either through gung-ho festival hype or naivety (ie. Taking one pill then it not working so you take another).

Honestly she’s going to be fine. Only risk she would ever really have is from drugs or drunken climbing. I don’t think your qualified to advise on the first but I think you can explain the no climbing/ jumping rule. Hopefully her friends are sensible.

Haven't read all the responses as having a busy evening but fully understand where you're coming from OP. If not already mentioned, I'd ask her for contact details of one or more of the people she's going with so if she loses her phone or just runs out of power, you have at least one other person you can contact. Don't abuse this though, just if you lose contact and are worried.
I'll probably get flamed for this but will say it anyway: have a conversation with her about drugs and the dangers of that one pill that seems like fun but could go badly wrong. We live in an area that hosts a number of festivals and too many reports over the years of otherwise sensible kids who are taken unawares. Sorry that won't help your anxiety but it's a conversation that needs to be had.
Suggest that she and her pals have a rule that they never leave someone on their own. Also if anyone in their group has had too much to drink that they take extra care of them.
I don't care if I get backlash for my suggestions, I've had DCs going to festivals for years, now older so less of a worry but have learned from other people's experiences too.

Thanks everyone, lots of good advice here.

The drugs thing - I honestly don't think she would go there, she's really sensible. But I do get that teens can act differently in certain situations under peer pressure etc, so will definitely have that conversation.

I went to a large festival earlier this year, lots of reports of phones stolen while in the crowds. I had a bum bag with my cards in which were in a Faraday pouch (so no skimming). Then my phone was attached to a lanyard around my neck for most of the festival. We also rented a locker which had back up cards and car key in for the duration. I second W3W for tent and car location if nothing else! Warm clothes and sleeping bag for night time is a must. Lots and lots of blister plasters.

Awww, thank you too.

Those who have suggested W3W - do you know if there is any difference between that app and what it allows you to do, and life 360? DD already has life 360 and insists this is sufficient as all her friends who she's going with also have it so they can locate each other. I don't know enough about W3W to know if there's other things she might also need that for?

Get her to attach something unusual to her tent so it's easy to find in the dark, like a flag. Bring lots of socks and loo roll! She'll be fine

I live near so everyone went to Reading at end of GCSEs and or A levels. Your kid will be as safe there as they would be at a night out or party please don’t worry. If they don’t do drugs or get stupidly drunk they’re safe places with lots of help if needed. And if they’re with good friends they shouldn’t ever feel pressured to do anything they don’t want to. I’m sure she’ll have a great time and be glad to be back in her bed by the end of it!

W3W is extremely accurate. Life 360 etc can be a little off. But I wouldn’t worry too much they will probably not loose sight of each other. When I used to go we had brick mobiles but always found our friend and our tents!

It doesn't matter what apps you have on your phone, if there's no signal. And the signal will be rubbish - an extra 50,000 people will overwhelm the available bandwidth.

Best bet is to go old school and text. With a manually entered timestamp. No pictures, emojis etc.. e.g. "it's 15:42, I am by the merch stall". Oh, and depending on phone make, "throttle" it so it doesn't use up battery looking for 5g. (Obviously switch off WiFi.)

My ds17 went to first festival (17) this year …

I paid they could have a phone battery charge each day .. everything was cashless so also meant I got odd text.

Ignore the above if they have decent paid-for WiFi. I've done a few festivals which set up their own network for the weekend, and it sometimes works, sometimes doesn't, but best have a plan b should it be a bit flaky.

I won't mention drugs, drinks etc it's been said enough but I will say she needs a bumbag and to wear it on her front there are lots of pickpockets at festivals and your phone is your life out there. Don't put it in your pocket it will be gone. Best taking and old.phoje or taking a spare just incase.

My sensible DC ended up insensible and carried back to the tent by security, then felt like hell all the next day, missing the act they wanted to see. Lesson learned the hard way. But no real harm done and i was reassured that staff had noticed and got them back safely.
What did it was a combination of too little food, too much sun and starting to drink too early. The best tips to give her are be sun safe, keep her fluids up and eat. Make sure she has plenty of money so she's not skipping food because it's expensive.

Lots of good advice on here already.

A couple from me-

amzn.eu/d/iBmeudk so she can find her tent in the dark

Tell her to write yours/a couple of friends contact numbers down on paper in case she loses her phone

Does she have access to more than one current acc? If so, tell her to bring both cards, in case one doesn't work.
get the acc details for both, in case she needs money urgently.
If she doesn't, get the details for one of her friends and add them as a payee before they go.

Pop some jelly's and rehydration sachets in her bag, as well as some immodium.

Tell her to not rely on anything that requires signal to find her friends. Set a meeting point on day one.

She'll be totally fine though!