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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To block him after this?

30 replies

bwa · 20/08/2024 19:34

Guy I've known in and off for years. Never romantic but he's made it clear he wants me. I know it's for sex. He's never made any intonation that he's looking for a relationship.

We have met up numerous times for drinks. He's been to mine and vice versa. It's not often thought. We go for months without speaking.
He's been very flaky in the past. Agreeing earlier in the week to meet say on a Thursday evening but come Thursday I don't hear a peep from him. I'm never that bothered as like I say we are just casual mates.

Anyway today. 8am he asked if I wanted to meet him after work. I said sure and that I'll be done at 5.30. I said I could be at the station for six and would be pick me up. He drives I don't. He replied with a thumbs up.
Leading up to six I told him I was near the station. He read it, no reply. Then just as I was about to get on the train I rang him to double check he was coming. It is just one stop to where I was meeting him. He didn't answer. It was a WhatsApp call and I could see him online. I left it another ten minutes and asked if he was ok to meet me otherwise I was going home. I just stay on the same train to go home as it's a few stops further. Still no reply and can see him online.

So I got off the train at 6.30 and blocked him. He clearly wasn't coming and I really couldn't be arsed to hear his shit.
My mum thinks I was too hasty. But we had made this plan way earlier in the day. He was the one who invited me and I told him I couldn't be out late I work very early in the morning.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
Angharad78 · 20/08/2024 19:36

I am glad you have a higher sense of your own worth than your mum seems to! Absolutely right. Block and move on with your life.

Justmuddlingalong · 20/08/2024 19:38

Yip. Block.
And never unblock.

quickturtle · 20/08/2024 19:39

Why is your mum getting involved in this? Just ignore her. And him.

Gettingannoyednow · 20/08/2024 19:40

I mean, I guess there's a tiny chance he was dealing with an unforeseen crisis, but seems unlikely. I'm a bit taken aback you discuss booty calls with your mum; I must be getting old.

bwa · 20/08/2024 19:41

@quickturtle I just mentioned it to her in a conversation and her response made me wonder if perhaps I had been hasty. Pretty sure I'm not but you know. Just interested in other's thoughts.

OP posts:
quickturtle · 20/08/2024 19:41

bwa · 20/08/2024 19:41

@quickturtle I just mentioned it to her in a conversation and her response made me wonder if perhaps I had been hasty. Pretty sure I'm not but you know. Just interested in other's thoughts.

Nah you're good just trust your instinct

bwa · 20/08/2024 19:42

Gettingannoyednow · 20/08/2024 19:40

I mean, I guess there's a tiny chance he was dealing with an unforeseen crisis, but seems unlikely. I'm a bit taken aback you discuss booty calls with your mum; I must be getting old.

Haha! It wasn't a booty call though. We have never slept together. She just knows I'm friends with him.

OP posts:
SauviGone · 20/08/2024 19:42

My mum thinks I was too hasty

Your mum has nothing to teach you about self esteem, self worth or healthy boundaries.

You’d do well to continue to ignore any advice she gives you.

And keep him blocked.

xyz111 · 20/08/2024 19:44

Sounds like far too much hassle. What do you get out of the "relationship"? But agree, keep him blocked.

AmandaHoldensLips · 20/08/2024 19:44

Top marks to you!
Go straight to the top of the class.

bwa · 20/08/2024 19:46

xyz111 · 20/08/2024 19:44

Sounds like far too much hassle. What do you get out of the "relationship"? But agree, keep him blocked.

Dunno really. He's a good laugh when we meet up. But I've had enough of the flakiness now.

OP posts:
bwa · 20/08/2024 19:47

AmandaHoldensLips · 20/08/2024 19:44

Top marks to you!
Go straight to the top of the class.

Ha! Thank you 🤩

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 20/08/2024 19:50

Would your mum have been happy for you to block him after waiting for him to pick you up after you waited in the freezing cold and pouring rain for an hour? Two? Six?

You've given him a pass for being flaky before, the block was well earned. Good for you having enough self respect to set boundaries and enact consequences.

bwa · 20/08/2024 20:00

Thank you for the confirmation replies so far. Unfortunately my mum is very lax when it comes to men and what she deems acceptable behaviour.
This man is 40 by the way! Not a young man. She should know better.

OP posts:
bwa · 20/08/2024 20:02

Sorry. Meant to say HE should know better. But, yes she should too!

OP posts:
Mmhmmn · 20/08/2024 20:07

No, he’s not just flaky. That is rude as fuck to make plans like that - you’re literally taking a train to go meet him, he’s agreed to pick you up - and then to just not turn up or respond. So disrespectful. Not needed in your life. Massive, massive piss-taker.

bwa · 20/08/2024 20:23

@Mmhmmn right! That's what I thought. Like just why? What's the point and what's he possibly getting out of it?

OP posts:
Timetoheal4good · 20/08/2024 20:23

Get rid!! Been there done it - he is a disrespectful, rude, arrogant, self-centred idiot and he won't change. He is who he is at 40. Well done for blocking.

Mmhmmn · 20/08/2024 20:27

There’s nothing to be gained from trying to understand his MO - he’s just deeply selfish and ignorant and deserves no more of your time or headspace.

LeontineFrance · 20/08/2024 20:36

Flaky people are a waste of space and time. You are worth more.

bwa · 20/08/2024 20:39

@LeontineFrance thank you ☺️

OP posts:
RedRobyn2021 · 20/08/2024 20:40

What is your mum on?

bwa · 20/08/2024 20:46

RedRobyn2021 · 20/08/2024 20:40

What is your mum on?

1950's beliefs 😂

OP posts:
bwa · 20/08/2024 21:01

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 20/08/2024 19:50

Would your mum have been happy for you to block him after waiting for him to pick you up after you waited in the freezing cold and pouring rain for an hour? Two? Six?

You've given him a pass for being flaky before, the block was well earned. Good for you having enough self respect to set boundaries and enact consequences.

Thank you for this. It's a great response which I should show my mum!

OP posts:
savethatkitty · 20/08/2024 21:06

Life is too short for these games with a 'casual mate'. Block him, forever. Clearly, friends or not, your time & effort isn't important to him. Sounds like he will be no great loss to you.