How much would you want in savings before you would relax a bit?

[baoap]

I’m feeling so stressed and to be honest I can’t remember when I wasn’t stressed about money. I’m on my own with ds (5) and since he was 2 I’ve pretty much obsessed about feeling more secure. I have managed to save 17000 but our basic expenses are 1,500 a month. I can only save 300 a month at the moment and often it gets wiped out for example last winter with a huge heating bill that just couldn’t be avoided. I feel miserable living like this. I sometimes wonder what amount I’m trying to get to that would make me feel better, I guess 50 or 100k but that’s obviously not going to happen.

Oh fuck off. Who seriously has 2 yrs salary in savings?

If you have £17k savings you do not need to be panicking. Most people in the UK have far far less.

Worrying can waste so much time and cause so much distress. Live for today, yes be sensible with your money but try and get some perspective. If you are so anxious see your GP.

It’s not the money so much as the responsibility. Your savings are a really good amount but that doesn’t change the responsibility of it all.

Is there anything else you can do to help your self? Can you put more time into building your network? Can you check you are meeting your needs in terms of physical and emotional health. You are doing an awesome job but need to find ways to feel confidence in this. A friend joined a single mums group and I have seen her find her crowd and a few of them do all sorts of cheap but nice things together. The big win has been in her confidence which was low before hand due to her shitty ex and how overwhelmed she felt by being the only parent.

Perhaps when they increase that threshold they can also increase every single tax threshold by the same percentage? Pigs might fly.

£17,000 is good op. I would take some out & leave at home as if you have less than £16k, you would get help if you lost your job.

What is your housing situation? I need to have a cushion / my Dsis also single parent v happily lives completely hand to mouth

For most income levels you have a very good amount of savings. I would invest a little of that to try and beat inflation eroding it and if you own your own home think about investing in some things which help keep bills down (loft insulation and energy saving light bulbs are good options).

I used to get a lot of anxiety about what would happen if I lost my job and lost my home - there's just not enough of a safety net. It's the fear of things escalating. I think I've just coped with a lot of difficult things so now I think I'll probably cope if something bad happend. (Not 'cope well' - just 'I'll probably get through it'...)

Single parent although he's at uni now. I have £29 in my account to last until the end of the month. No savings. Shafted in divorce, still paying extortionate mortgage on marital home as I couldn't afford anywhere else, ex pays nothing to DS towards uni and I have disabled relatives living with me who contribute the minimum - but I can't really chuck them out on the streets.

I've had to use credit cards sometimes to buy food as in paper I don't qualify for any help.

I'm a singe parent and don't really have any savings other than what I'm putting into kids ISAs, and making sure I have money for birthdays and holiday. Any extra money goes on overpaying the mortgage or into my pension, which is very minimal so needs building up way more than savings. I also have mortgage insurance. Universal Credit would cover my expenses if I lost my job, until I got another one. I guess I should really get some savings together. But it doesn't stress me out at all. Maybe it should!

What are you actually saving for and how much will it cost? Surely that’s the ideal amount not some pie in the sky figure?

OP you have a good level of savings. More than most people. You can afford to put the heating on thanks to your diligence. That's what savings are for. You will feel better if you can relax a little and enjoy life.

You're missing the point. Not many, I struggled to have one year, but with the work situation the way it is currently, one year wasn't enough. Also, I didn't say you need two years salary. I said you need enough to cover your outgoings for two years. They are not the same thing.

I can’t fathom having thousands in the bank and worrying about putting your heating on. Honestly.

You can afford heating, and actually can't afford not to heat; you and your child need a warm home to reduce the risk of unpaid sickness time off and of getting expensive damp / mould in the house. It's worth breaking down what exactly you're anxious about; it sounds like on paper you're fine Your child needs food, a home, clothes; but anyone would get help towards food and housing at a certain point, so you just need enough to cover emergencies (boiler), unexpected extra costs (extra shoes / a filling), and a period of regular bills to tide you through to either a new job or benefits (say 3 months). It is not actually only you with ultimate responsibility; the welfare state is smaller than it was but it still exists. You need to logically take on board that you don't need more than that sensibly worked out emergency fund.

I think £17k is too much actually. £10k was always my minimum number; that gives a really good cushion for most potential issues. We did hit a lean patch once, but then only actually spent £4k of the emergency fund after all, because the budget is multiple simultaneous emergencies not just one. With the extra money saved - if you can pay some money off the mortgage then you'd get a mortgage holiday on the event of issues (direct saving on bills), but also not lose out on universal credit over the £16k if you wound up needing it later. If / when you've paid off the mortgage then it's good to top up your pension.

You sound like you're doing an incredible job, and I think you have a decent savings pot, if that's any consolation.

I think people do!

250,000 gbp would be ideal
that said instead 24,000 gbp

Hey OP - i absolutely hear the panic and overwhelm and responsibility. That must be so much to shoulder alone.

Anxiety isn’t always our friend. There are factual ways of working through your current position and circumstances to see how you are going, whether you need to take any action, and what action you need to take.

A solid well mapped out plan can give you the reassurance that you don’t need to panic (really panic never helps anyone) but just take small consistent actions over time.

Is there a trusted financial advisor or accountant you can see to work through this? Or a psych/ financial counselor?

I live in another country so am not able to recommend organisations or specific professions in the UK sorry but it doesn’t have to be this debilitating for you. Please reach out for some help.

How do you manage your gas and electricity accounts? We pay monthly and over summer have accumulated a decent credit so don’t need to worry about the winter bills as we have enough in our Octopus account to cover the higher bills.

Would it help to actually do the sums? You are currently saving £300 a month. This is £3600 a year. This is almost our entire annual energy bill and you already included energy bills into your basic spend of £1500 a month.
Your winter heating bill is not going to be extra £3600 on top of what you already pay monthly. So you won’t need to touch your core savings pot of 17k.
I think your anxiety is irrational.

Exactly. You're doing really well. I.dont know anyone with two years savings. You need to stop stressing.

This.

you have a good level of Savings and are safe.

The issue is your anxiety about sole responsibility (I get it, same place here).

pps suggestions are good. You are going to be ok. Pls put the heating on to keep you and DS warm.

make sure you are getting a good level of interest on your savings. That is free money and will eventually cover increased heating bills if you keep adding to it.

other thing I find helps is to have savings account on banking app and look at it frequently. That helps me feel safe.

Honestly, it's always going to be more than you have.

We are finally at a stage where we can save quite a bit, however it's all earmarked for home improvements and paying off the mortgage. So whilst it looks healthy, it could all be gone if we decide to finally finish our house and be mortgage free. I do have a portion of savings to clear my stoozed 0% balance, so that does distort our savings figure too.

It does give freedom and options though once you have a good chunk behind you. DH is changing jobs and needed a car for it, we could afford to pay cash. He's taking a temporary pay cut for the first 6m which we can afford for him to do with having savings.

I'm a lone parent. I have £5000 in savings. I get UC, so don't save any more than that or my UC would reduce.

I'm happy with that. It would be enough to keep me going for around 6 months if I lost my job, I rent so I'd get my rent covered by housing benefit in that scenario.