How much would you want in savings before you would relax a bit?

[baoap]

I’m feeling so stressed and to be honest I can’t remember when I wasn’t stressed about money. I’m on my own with ds (5) and since he was 2 I’ve pretty much obsessed about feeling more secure. I have managed to save 17000 but our basic expenses are 1,500 a month. I can only save 300 a month at the moment and often it gets wiped out for example last winter with a huge heating bill that just couldn’t be avoided. I feel miserable living like this. I sometimes wonder what amount I’m trying to get to that would make me feel better, I guess 50 or 100k but that’s obviously not going to happen.

Single parent with 50/50 custody. I earn 42k, I have 30k in savings…I rent at the moment and life is expensive (waiting for stbx to buy me out of the house)…I panic about my finances at least once a week. I would like to have more saved but that’s impossible right now.

I just don't think realistically any amount of savings would make you feel secure. No amount of savings is enough to protect against all eventualities. So however much you have, you'll always feel like you need a bit more.

This is sort of a how long is a piece of string question?

What kind of eventuality are you planning for? If you lose your job it sounds like you would have quite a reasonable amount of time to find something else and also enough to cover new appliances if they were to break down.

Those who have larger savings, say multiple 100's of thousands aren't generally saving for incase they lose jobs or have to replace the car or boiler. Those are for things like retirement or even early retirement , helping their children financially with buying a home etc.

I'd say that if you have £17k saved then you can obviously continue to save but you shouldn't need to be constantly on edge about things.
If something unfortunate happened, say you became ill or disabled and unable to work then over time you would adapt to a new reality and you would have access to benefits to help you.

£17k is a good amount! Well done! That gives you almost a year if you lost your job.

I have a similar mindset to you. It's tough. But even if you really slow add to it, eventually you'll get to a year. Is it in a high interest savings account? That will help!

£1500 expenses per month means you have almost a years worth of expenses saved which is great.
It's up to you what you feel comfortable with, but we started with 6 months expenses then a separate pot for 'emergencies' like boiler/car trouble etc before we started to relax, but we continued to put money into savings so now have over a years worth of expenses, plus emergencies, plus holidays in savings.

OP, I understand the feeling of responsibility and how it sometimes induces financial anxiety. You seem to worry a lot about it despite already having savings in place and being able to add to them. It is possible no amount of money would alleviate your anxiety - it would manifest in a different way.
I have been in a similar situation and what helped me was understanding this level if anxiety is often a symptom of a (to some degree still) unsolved trauma, and addressing that instead.

I have £7K which is ten months worth of expenses for me as a single person living quite frugally and with no children. I feel OK with that amount but would love to get to £50K and go to the max in Premium Bonds.

Do you think part of your anxiety is because you’ve only got one income coming in and everything’s on you? £17K saved is fabulous - well done. The average person in the UK has £11K.

£17k is a great amount! I can’t help but think it would be better overpaying on your mortgage though?

How much of the £1500 a month costs is that?

£17k is a very good amount!

What are you seeking security from? If you lost your job there would be potentially a redundancy payment, and then benefits.

You have enough for an emergency roof repair or boiler replacement.

Do you have a pension which your work pays into?

Im single with no kids and im very relaxed.

Thanks, I just don’t think i am coping well with the responsibility. I feel so anxious all the time and was looking earlier at what is needed for winter and just feel sheer panic last year the heating bills were horrendous and I was desperately trying not to put the heating on. It was grim. Just had a chunky water bill too. The weight on my shoulders is horrible and I can’t imagine it going away.

As a single parent you are doing really well vs majority. Personally I think at least 1 year of expenses set aside is good. In addition, some cash flow for maintenance, emergency repairs etc.

You're fine. That's a very good cushion. The most I've ever had in savings is 5k.

Would it help to split your savings into different pots / jobs ? I used to get stressed if I had to spend any when it all was just general savings

Now I have

1. House maintenance
2. Holidays - both of these get used at least one a year and tend to have £0-£3000 max each in them .
3. Mid term -Garden office fund £8800- been saving 2 years will finish at Christmas
4. Long term £10500 currently and add £150 a month - this is don't touch unless lose job, something major happens to house that savings or insurance doesn't cover . It will be bridging pre- pension if nothing terrible happens in the next 20 years .

Then super long term .

1. Overpay mortgage £250 ish a month
2. Pension £600 ish

They say 6 months expenses - you've got way more than that so relax!

Doesn't it really depend on the housing situation? I have around £10k which I'm ok with but I'd only be comfortable with my mortgage paid off.

If I was renting I'd want a lot more.

I'm so relaxed now I don't have debt.

I keep £2k as an emergency buffer.

I have no need for more in cash than that.

If I had more I'd use it to overpay the mortgage

This thread is so far away from
What most people have got.... basically fuck all.

Yes, I completely agree-I’m not sure the OP has answered that?

£17k is great if the mortgage is paid off. If you still owe £350k on that or if you’re renting, then that’s quite a different picture.

Honestly, sounds like you’re doing great. The vast majority of brits don’t have a months expenses to fall back on.

We are a couple and now have about £10k, to us this is amazing. A few years ago we were heavily in debt living hand to mouth.

Are you renting?
Do you have a mortgage? How much is left on it?

Those are the biggest questions and to me the savings are meaningless depending on the answers.

@NamechangeForthisquestion1

how much savings exactly do you think people should be able to sit on while getting benefits?

It'll always be a bit more than you have got!

@baoap

This is the real issue, the sole responsibility to provide for your son. Where is his father in all of this, I presume he plays no part in DS's life. Let alone financially?

in some ways )if you're not together) this is the easiest option as you have total control over your & the child lives. But you also have total responsibility, it's tough.

I don't think there's any magic number that'll change that.

i think the best thing you can do really is write a list of your fears, then try to find ways to put things in place so you can worry less. Various kinds of insurance would help ?(life, terminal
illness, redundancy). Having named guardians for DS.

small things like accepting you and DS need & deserve to be comfortable & warm over the winter & that costs. Set yourself up best you can to keep the heat in & buy throw over heated blankets, dirt cheap to run, or oodies if that's more your thing. Cosy PJ's & bedding.

Accept some of your savings needs to be spent on being comfortable.

Big Hugs, it's not easy xx

We have about 16k in savings. Would like it to be 20k