2 of our best friends are getting married next August.
No children allowed, my DD will be 3 and my Mum is having her for the day and night so that's sorted.
We struggled with infertility, miscarriages and took 4 years to conceive DD with some help.
We decided that we'd like a second baby but didn't hold out much hope and agreed we are happy if we are only meant to ever have DD so we've not been preventing.
To my absolute shock, I fell pregnant the 2nd month of not preventing and I'm now 9 weeks.
I've already paid £200 towards hen do and have another £300 to pay before the end of this month (abroad hen do, I know it's a lot of money but we've been best friends for 15 years so thought it would be lovely to have a 5 day villa trip abroad with all of the girls and a break from being Mum). Baby will be due a month before hen do so all being well at 12 week scan, I won't be going.
I don't know what to do, if I pay £300 and the worst happens at 12 weeks or before, I've lost £500 and if I tell the organiser that I'm pregnant and won't be able to go, I put the cost up for everyone else.
DH is best man and the stag do is actually the week I'm due so he's told the organiser he won't be going but also said that IF the worst happens he will sort out his own flights and pay in towards accommodation.
What do I do? Tell organiser now so she can prep everyone for the extra cost? Or do I keep quiet until 12 weeks when we are in the "safe zone" (I know that this isn't always the case but would feel a lot more reassured reaching 12 weeks that it'll be okay).
I've told my best friend that I'm pregnant but she's got no idea what is planned, how much it's costing, that we are going abroad for 5 days. I think she assumes we are doing a night or two at a spa hotel from what she's getting at.
Help! What do I do? Pull out now officially? Or wait a few weeks, pay the £300 and suck the £500 loss up if I have to pull out?